The Family Plot Blog
How To Hold a Pet Funeral
Should you do a funeral or memorial service for your pet? Some kind of ceremony that recognizes the loss is a valuable undertaking, especially when children are involved. It provides a "teachable moment" regarding life and death. However, you may want to keep it a small immediate family affair, with those who were closest to the pet. There are people who don't hold animal death in the same regard as the end of a human life. They can brush aside...
Baptist Funeral Traditions
This post highlights funeral practices of Baptists in general, not specific to any convention, association, or denomination. The actual practices of individual families and congregations will vary within this religious tradition. The 30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge post about the service for Jim Henderson provides an example of a Baptist memorial service. Treatment of the body: The body is usually viewed, either at a visitation event at the...
Funeral Traditions for African American Methodist Churches
This post highlights funeral practices of African American Methodist Churches. The actual practices of individual families and congregations will vary within this religious tradition. Treatment of the body: Embalming is accepted. The body is usually viewed, either at a visitation event at the funeral home and/or during the funeral. Cremation is also accepted. Funeral or memorial services: Funerals usually take place within two to three days....
Religious Funeral Traditions
How do interfaith couples deal with their different religions when there is a death in the family? Couples from different faith backgrounds often face hurdles when they marry, as I know from my first marriage – a Jew and a Catholic. Clergy may try to counsel the couple on how they can bring their different religions together into their enjoined lives, or the pair may walk away from their religions altogether. They may find a happy medium for...
Providing for Pets after Your Death
My friend Barbara has six cats and no spouse or kids. After a brush with heart problems, she prepared her will and set up a pet trust for her kitties. After she dies, her cats will be cared for and live out their days in her house, which will become property of a local animal rescue organization. A pet trust provides a legal technique to make sure beloved animal companions are cared for after the human is gone. You basically give your pet to a...
Survey Says Most People Don’t Plan to Die
Interesting news today from Funeralwise.com. Based on a survey the company conducted as part of its Death and Taxes Sweepstakes during the month of April, most people aren't doing funeral planning. Guess they just don't plan to die. Here's more information: How much do consumers really know about funeral planning? According to Funeralwise.com, not enough. That’s the conclusion suggested by a fascinating new study released this week that shows...
E.B. Sugars: A Pioneer of the Living Memorial Service
In 1998, Edward “E.B.” Sugars helped pioneer living memorial services. Dying of lung cancer at the age of 66, this retired Santa Rosa high school teacher decided to hold a pre-memorial service with more than 200 family, friends and colleagues at a potluck dinner that included festive music by a local brass band. The concept was so unique at the time, the local news story was picked up and circulated widely by the Associated Press wire service,...
Writing Condolence Cards and Letters
Caring people send a card, letter, or note of condolence upon hearing news of a death. Taking time out of our busy lives to acknowledge a death and say that the person will be missed helps us better appreciate being alive. Condolence communications need not be intimidating. Just buying a card and signing your name is easy, but not as comforting to the recipient as it could be. Adding one or two lines on what the deceased person meant to you...
Backstage at the Crematorium
The Week, "The best of the U.S. and international media," has an excerpt from a new book, Curtains by Tom Jokinen, in the May 7 issue. It's in "The last word" section, and they titled the piece Backstage at the crematorium. Jokinen writes, "I have come on a mission - to understand the rituals of death by working as a funeral-home trainee. As the sociologist Zygmunt Bauman has said, humans are the only creatures who know they're going to die,...
Interview about Funeral Planning on www.wvtlfm.com
Today I'll discuss funeral planning for those who don't plan to die on The Bob Cudmore Show, live at 9:35 a.m. Eastern Time. Listen online at www.WVTLFM.com by clicking on the listen button. The interview will also be podcast later. The interview is slated for ten minutes. WVTL-FM is based in Amsterdam, New York, 30 miles west of Albany.
A Jewish Headstone Unveiling Ceremony
Yesterday, our immediate family gathered to hold a Jewish headstone unveiling ceremony for my father-in-law, who passed away on April 14, 2009. Jewish tradition suggests waiting a year before setting the headstone. Our synagogue recommends setting the headstone between six to 18 months after the death. It's a way of observing the passage of time as a part of the grieving process. Our rabbi and cantor presided over the brief but moving ceremony....
B.L. Ochman on Remembering What’s Important
I had dinner the other night with B.L. Ochman, a legend in the blogosphere. She and I go back many years, and it was such a pleasure to see her and catch up. She has a guest post on cartoonist Hugh Macleod's website, GapingVoid.com. Titled "be yourself. remembering what's important," it has some great lessons for us all on life and death, living and dying, and family stories that may seem too fantastic but turn out to be true. It starts: "Three...
More on Donating Your Body To Science
Today's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette has a great article by Marylynne Pitz, titled "Donating Your Body to Science." It's all about how to donate your body for medical research, how the business of organ and whole body donation works, and things to know about the process. While she interviewed me for the story, she quoted mostly people in Pittsburgh or Pennsylvania. These were the tips I provided on how to properly donate your body to science and...
Video Recording Life Reviews
A local hospice uses video to record patients' life stories as a keepsake for families, preserving their life history and providing a chance for family to get answers to questions before the person dies. This video record could also serve as a wonderful addition to a memorial service when funeral planning. In today's Albuquerque Journal, on the front of the Health section, there's a story headlined "Saying Goodbye - Hospice patients narrate...
Green Burial Tips for Earth Day
In honor of Earth Day, here are some eco-friendly tips for greening your burial and other funeral planning arrangements. The Green Burial Council has certified over two-dozen burial grounds around the country. As of 2010, you can find them in California, Georgia, Indiana, Michigan, North Carolina, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, and Washington. The Green Burial Council certifies four...
Dear Abby on Death Anniversaries and Birthdays
In a recent Dear Abby column, a woman who loves to celebrate her birthday wrote to say her father-in-law died last year on her birthday, and this year there would be a memorial service on her special day. This is a woman who loves the candles, the cake, the singing, and getting taken out to dinner by her husband, who wasn't a huge birthday celebration fan, but did what he could to please her. This year, the family is getting together to hold a...
Crop of TV Shows About Death
The TV writer for the Denver Post, Joanne Ostrow, just did a great article on a host of television programs coming to the tube in the next few weeks that deal with the subject of death. The article, titled "In TV's many lenses, death is ready for its close-up," she writes about a bevvy of programs coming up: "Time to Say Goodbye," a new end-of- life religion special from CBS, features an overnight visit in a Florida hospice. "You Don't Know...
Death Anniversaries and Caring Communities
President Abraham Lincoln died on this day in 1865, nine hours after he was shot in Ford's Theater on April 14. April 14 was also the first anniversary of the death of my father-in-law Norm, who has impacted so much of the work I am doing regarding educating people on living and dying - our rituals, funeral planning, end-of-life issues, and how to make a meaningful, healing "good goodbye." Last year, on April 15, we extended our tax returns as...
Dear Abby on Viewing and Caskets
Dear Abby recently ran a letter from a woman who wrote in about making arrangements for her ex-mother-in-law who died unexpectedly, without a will. She was very close to the woman, so she worked with her ex-husband to make funeral arrangements that they thought she would have wanted. They decided to have Mom cremated, but had a four-hour viewing at the funeral home for the benefit of the grandchildren. Since she was going to be cremated, they...
ADEC Notes and Quotes
There is so much good information here at the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) meeting! Let me share a few quotes and notes from Thomas Lynch, poet and undertaker, the keynote speaker at the start of the conference. He's the author of The Undertaking and other stellar books. He had many wonderful comments on the arc of narrative regarding funerals. On the essential elements of a funeral: "You need to have someone who's...
How To Avoid Medical Donation Fraud
Whole body donation for medical research is a low-cost or no-cost option for body disposition. However, 2010 events here in Albuquerque show how one fraudulent provider can make what is meant to be a blessing into a curse. I've written about how to arrange body donation in a previous post. Two online providers mentioned, BioGift.org and Medcure.org, make a point of featuring the logo of Better Business Bureau (BBB) and stating that they are...