This post highlights funeral practices of Baptists in general, not specific to any convention, association, or denomination. The actual practices of individual families and congregations will vary within this religious tradition.
The 30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge post about the service for Jim Henderson provides an example of a Baptist memorial service.
Treatment of the body: The body is usually viewed, either at a visitation event at the funeral home and/or during the funeral. Embalming and cremation are accepted.
Funeral or memorial services: Funerals usually take place within one week. The service may be held in a church or a funeral home and last 30 to 60 minutes, or possibly longer. A pastor performs the service, musicians contribute songs before, during and after the service, and family or friends give eulogies. A program indicating the order of the ceremony is distributed to attendees. The order is often an opening scripture, an invocation, music, the obituary, a scripture lesson, music, a sermon, music, and the benediction, before proceeding to the cemetery. A wide variety of readings from the Bible Old and New Testaments and Psalms may be used.
Do’s and Don’ts: Sign the guest book. Ushers will advise where to sit. If arriving late, do not enter when the bereaved family is entering or during prayers. It is not appropriate to take pictures or record the service (both audio and video). Guests of other faiths are expected to stand, kneel, read prayers aloud and sing with those present, unless this violates their religious beliefs. If choosing not to kneel or stand, remain seated. When viewing the body, which is optional, join the line of viewers and observe silently and somberly. Express your condolences to the family after the service. It is appropriate to visit the bereaved at home after the funeral, but call first.
Interment: Guests should attend. At graveside, a brief service includes Scripture reading, prayer recitation, committal of the casket into the ground, and a benediction.
Post-Event Reception: The family may hold a reception at the church, home, or a restaurant. Food is served, but no alcohol. No religious services are held in the home.
Gifts: Upon learning about the death, telephone or visit the bereaved to offer condolences and sympathies. It is appropriate to send flowers to the home before the funeral or to the location where the funeral will be held. The family may request memorial contributions in lieu of flowers, which will be specified in the obituary. Charitable contributions may be given to the spouse or adult children of the deceased before or after the funeral. Food may be sent to the bereaved at home after the funeral.
Mourning period: There is no official doctrine regarding how long a mourner stays away from work or socializing. A mourner might return to work after a week and return to a normal social schedule within two months.
Mourning customs: There are no specific Baptist mourning customs or formal remembrance in church, but the family of the deceased may hold their own commemoration at the anniversary of the death.
Notes: At funerals, many pastors will take the opportunity to remind attendees, whether Baptist or not, to seek salvation while they still live. While some will make a gentle reference about coming to Jesus, some can make non-Baptists in the audience quite uncomfortable.
For more details on this religion’s history, beliefs, and funeral practices, you may wish to consult this excellent resource: The Perfect Stranger’s Guide to Funerals and Grieving Practices: A Guide to Etiquette in Other People’s Religious Ceremonies (SkyLight Paths Publishing, Woodstock, VT).
Or visit the web sites of these Baptist organizations, which represent about 92% of Baptists—the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC); National Baptist Convention, USA, Inc. (NBC); National Baptist Convention of America, Inc.; (NBCA); American Baptist Churches in the USA (ABC); and Baptist Bible Fellowship International (BBFI).
[…] Baptist Funeral Traditions […]
Is there a Baptist tradition (or any tradition for that matter) where the wife is buried at the husband’s left hand?
Hi Joan:
I don’t know of any tradition that dictates who gets buried on the left or the right of a spouse. I think replicating who sleeps on which side of the bed might be the best guidance for a final resting place.
Gail Rubin, CT
Are ‘memorial cards’ printed for a baptist celebration of life ceremony? Or is that simply in the bulletin?
I’m not aware of a tradition of printing memorial cards for a Baptist funeral or memorial service. However, that doesn’t mean that you couldn’t start a new tradition!
Is it ok to send a mass card for a Baptist who died?
Hi Judy:
Sorry for the delay replying over the Memorial Day weekend. Given the differences between the Catholic Church and the Baptist faith, I would suggest a sympathy card instead of a mass card. Let the family know you hold them and their loved one who died in your prayers. Hope this helps!
Gail Rubin, CT
I want dead, death, died, etc used at my funeral. They are all found in the Bible.
I DO NOT want passed away, went home…, went home in his sleep to be with the Lord, etc., In other words I DO NOT want any expressions that are not found in the Bible.
Am I wrong?
Grandbubba
Hi Grandbubba:
I am most certainly in your camp! Saying “died” won’t kill you. However, there are other colorful euphemisms for dying in the Bible that do not use any variations of the “D” word.
You might consider: “went down to Sheol,” “gathered to his fathers/people/ancestors/,” “breathed his last breath,” “joined those who sleep in the dust,” and “going the way of all the earth.” Ecclesiastes 2:14 calls death “one event happens to us all.”
Thanks for your thoughts on this important aspect of funeral planning!