The Family Plot Blog
Opening the NFDA Convention & Expo 2013
Greetings from the opening of the National Funeral Directors Association annual convention and expo in Austin, Texas! I'm here to report on new trends in funeral service, and let you know about innovations that will be coming to the general public. Almost 6,000 people from around the world have come here for this event, with 101 delegates from 43 countries - including 43 from Australia! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jOrd3diJx4 Among the...
The Lady and The Reaper Animated Short
A sweet old lady is living alone at her farm, waiting for the arrival of death so she can meet her beloved deceased husband again. One night, while sleeping, her life fades out and she is invited to cross death's door. But just when she is about to do so, the old lady wakes up inside a hospital's ward: an arrogant doctor has taken her back to life and he will fight hard against death to recover the old lady's life at any cost....
How Can Baby Boomers Handle Aging Parents’ Healthcare Crises?
Talk with Katy Butler, author of Knocking on Heaven’s Door, on A Good Goodbye Radio October 23 The Silver Tsunami of baby boomers, many contending with their own health issues, also face caring for their elderly parents with serious health conditions. End-of-life scenarios too often end up in the hospital pursuing futile medical treatment, when as much as 75% of the population says they’d like to die at home. An adult aged 50-plus to 60-plus...
Silver City and T or C Death Cafes a Success!
This past weekend, the first Death Cafe conversations were held in Silver City, NM on Saturday, October 12 and in Truth or Consequences (T or C), NM on Sunday, October 13. While the conversations were dramatically different from each other, each was a success in its own way. The Silver City Death Cafe was held at Javalina Coffee House with four participants in addition to facilitator Gail Rubin with A Good Goodbye. We all fit around one big...
The Legacy of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross helped spark the conversation about death and dying with her pioneering work in the 1960s first reported in her book, On Death and Dying. She noted five stages of reactions in the dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. She pointed out that during the course of an illness, individuals tend to go back and forth and may experience different stages at the same time. I'd like to point out that not only...
Silver City Film Talk Tonight
Tonight's the night for Laughing in the Face of Death: Funny Films for Funeral Planning at 7:00 p.m. in lovely Silver City, New Mexico! The Western Institute for Lifelong Learning (WILL) is coordinating this free presentation on the campus of Western New Mexico University, in the Global Resource Center Auditorium. For more information or to reserve a seat, contact 575-538-6835 or email info@will-learning.com. In this upbeat talk, I illustrate...
News and Notes: Life Planning and Death Cafes
Questions about advance directives, wills, trusts, probate, guardianship, and powers of attorney are best addressed before a health crisis hits. Inevitably, these important questions fall to the bottom of the to-do list, at the family's peril. Retired probate judge Merri Rudd, co-author of the comprehensive book Life Planning in New Mexico, knows what happens when families fail to plan. She saw many tragic examples in her courtroom over 10...
Breaking Bad Walter White’s Albuquerque Obituary
Regular readers of this blog know that it originates in Albuquerque, New Mexico, the setting for the recently-expired television series, "Breaking Bad." While the city celebrates the 42nd annual Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta this weekend, last Sunday, the town was a-twitter about the finale of the award-winning TV series and what happened to the main character, Walter White. Guess what? He died. And a local "Breaking Bad" fan club...
Albuquerque Death Café Tackles a Taboo Topic Over Tea and Cake
Fans of the growing social movement describe events as “fun” and “life-affirming” One hundred percent of humans will die – death is not optional. But talking about it? Most folks don’t want to go there… until now. The worldwide Death Café movement is changing all that, bringing strangers together over tea and cake to discuss mortality concerns. Stories about it have appeared in the New York Times, USA Today, Boston Globe, NPR, MSN.com and many...
Happy Birthday, Mr. St. Francis
Today, October 4, is the feast day for Saint Francis, renowned for his love of animals and the natural environment. It is also the birthday for my father-in-law, Norman Bleicher. He too was known for his love and care for animals, especially dogs. Over his lifetime, he collected many images and sculptures depicting St. Francis. If he were alive today, he would be 86 years old. Thinking good thoughts about a good man. The inscription on his...
Discuss Wills, Trusts, Probate and More on A Good Goodbye Radio
Wills, trusts, probate, guardianships, and powers of attorney may intimidate the average baby boomer or senior citizen. Family relationships get strained: who makes decisions, who speaks for whom and who controls the money? These important questions are best addressed before a health crisis hits. Retired probate judge Merri Rudd, co-author of the 5th Edition of the comprehensive book Life Planning in New Mexico, knows what happens when families...
Cremation Concerns
This past week, two stories surfaced about cremation that illustrate important points about having a conversation and making arrangements BEFORE there's a death in the family. One concerns legalities about who can or must authorize cremation for someone else, and the other concerns who in a family pays for cremation in the indigent death of an estranged ex. In the Albuquerque Journal, a front-page article told the story of a distraught mother...
“Ask A Mortician” Caitlin Doughty on A Good Goodbye Radio
“Ask A Mortician” Caitlin Doughty's sensational YouTube videos include amusing, fact-based commentaries on “Dangerous Corpses,” “Pet Death,” “Talking to Your Kids About Death,” “Scientific Donation,” “Corpse Poo,” “Exploding Caskets” and much more. What else could you learn from her? “With death, ignorance is fear,” Doughty said. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with being interested in mortality and death. Death is where every single one of...
News and Notes: Muslim Funerals, Bernie and Funeral Etiquette
This week on A Good Goodbye Radio, I'm honored to have Dr. Ahmad-Rufai Abdullah on to discuss Islamic funeral and burial traditions. Dr. Abdullah is a leader of the Islamic Burial Society of North America, formed in 2006, and has trained hundreds of volunteers to conduct the Islamic Janazah ritual to prepare the deceased for burial. The funeral traditions of Muslims and Jews are remarkably similar. Dr. Abdullah encourages cooperation and...
Glenn Morshower on Life, Death and Living Fully
Glenn Morshower has never been a military officer, an FBI agent or a policeman… but as an actor, he plays them on TV and film. Through his long and fulfilling career, he may be best known for his role as Agent Aaron Pierce on the TV series “24″ from 2001 to 2009. Morshower spoke recently at Craig Duswalt's RockStar Marketing BootCamp. I had seen him speak at this event back in March. Then as now, he rocked the house with some mind-bending...
People and Pet Cemeteries
In the state of New York, your cremated remains can now be buried with your beloved pet's - but the pet cemetery can't advertize that fact and they can't charge extra to inter you there. A New York Assemblyman wants to change that. A New York Daily News story on September 14 announced that pet cemeteries will now accept human cremated remains for burial alongside their pets. While this is still a rare arrangement, there's a growing interest in...
Financial Issues After a Funeral
Even with the best laid plans, a host of tasks await the executor of an estate. Along with funeral planning, effective financial planning helps reduce stress, minimize conflict and save money. This week’s episode of A Good Goodbye TV focuses on the intricacies of financial planning, especially when it regards death and taxes. Steven P. Margulin, CPA, CFP® and Life Coach, is the special guest interviewed on this show. During this interview he...
Friday Funeral Film: Departures
Departures, a film from Japan released in 2008, presents a beautiful and humorous meditation on life, death and funeral rituals. This Oscar-winner for Best Foreign Language Film can help open the door to funeral planning conversations, and so, it is today's Friday Funeral Film. Departures traces the professional and personal transformation of Daigo, an unemployed cello player, into a specialist in the ritual of encoffinment for the dead. Along...
Talking Funeral Etiquette with Peggy Post of The Emily Post Institute
Weddings are fun and anticipated with joy, while funeral planning is generally avoided. Both life cycle events are stressful and require the proprieties of etiquette to help smooth out the awkward moments. Since most folks avoid discussing funeral or memorial service planning, many don’t know the finer points of funeral etiquette. Get educated with Peggy Post, a director of The Emily Post Institute, as she joins host Gail Rubin on A Good...
Jeff Harbeson of Funeral Finance Interviewed on A Good Goodbye TV
This week's episode of A Good Goodbye TV focuses on the costs of funerals and memorial services and the different ways to pay, either in advance or at-need. Jeff Harbeson, Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer of Funeral Finance LLC, is the special guest interviewed on this show, which starts airing on Albuquerque's Comcast Cable system on Monday. If you don't do funeral planning BEFORE there's a death in the family, sticker...
Discussing September 11 and Grief with Audrey Pellicano
Just about every American over the age of 17 can remember how they learned about the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. The trauma is burned into our national consciousness like those over age 55 remember where they were when they learned President John F. Kennedy was shot. The shock and grief generated by such unexpected traumas can linger on, even decades later. Families left without fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, friends and...