The Family Plot Blog
CNM Exit Strategies Talk
It was standing room only in room H-129 at Central New Mexico Community College on Monday. Psychology teacher Jim Johnson had invited me to present one of my funny film clip talks to his students in the Death & Dying class. Exit Strategies: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die covered recent developments regarding physician aid in dying, why many people avoid using the "D" word, patient autonomy when facing cancer, the role of...
What Makes an Obituary Go Viral and a Eulogy Memorable?
Ivan H. Charbonneau and Harry Stamps had obituaries that made them famous. Their newspaper death notices described “ordinary” people in extraordinary ways. Since obituaries are frequently read at funerals, why not make an obituary double as a great eulogy that might also go viral on the Internet? If you don’t regularly speak in public, how do you make the eulogy memorable? What can ordinary people do to honor the memory of those they love?...
News & Notes: Talks, Toastmasters and Traditions
The Toastmasters International speech competition can take a contestant all the way to the organization's worldwide convention with thousands in attendance. The next convention will be in Kuala Lumpur this summer. On Saturday, I took the first step toward that goal by winning at Albuquerque Challenge, my home club. My speech, "Laughing in the Face of Death," now moves on to the area competition, to be held the afternoon of March 15. But guess...
Laughing in the Face of Death at CO Funeral Home
Laughing in the Face of Death: Longmont, Colorado Funeral Home Hosts Upbeat Funeral Planning Talk in Advance of Frozen Dead Guy Days “Talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, and talking about funerals won’t make you dead – and your family will benefit from the conversation.” – Gail Rubin The Carroll-Lewellen Funeral Home in Longmont, Colorado is hosting Laughing in the Face of Death, an upbeat talk that illustrates funeral planning issues...
Be a Real Hero – Empower Your Beloved! Part Two
Continuing from yesterday with Gary Newman's guest blog post on financial affairs for couples... Be a Real Hero - Empower Your Beloved! So, how to bring Beloved up to self-reliance level, even if Beloved doesn’t want to? Here’s your chance to be an even bigger hero or heroine than you already are. Unless Beloved already suffers incapacity and truly can’t handle it, it’s a matter of motivation, isn’t it? The barriers are want-to vs not-want-to,...
Be a Real Hero – Empower Your Beloved! Part One
I love the information in this guest post by Gary Newman, who provides great insights on how to be financially prepared before there's a death in the family. Be a Real Hero - Empower Your Beloved! Here’s a true story (names changed) from my experience. If it doesn’t apply to you, or I can applaud you for wisely already having fixed the problem that it exposes, please stay with me, anyway. That’s because you could be a huge help to someone who...
Happily Even After Widowhood
The questions and issues surrounding the death of a spouse are numerous and complex – immediately following the funeral as well as months or years later. “Who am I?” and “What do I do now?” are the two most pressing questions right after an abrupt change from couple to single person. Carole Brody Fleet faced those questions when she became a widow at age 40. She found no resources that spoke directly to her needs as a young widow. In 2006, she...
News & Notes: Funeral Email Scam, Tips and Talks
There was an article about a scam email that appears to come from a funeral home in Sunday's Albuquerque Journal. The article, "Latest email scam preys on curiosity over purported death," details a recent rash of emails that suggest a person may miss a funeral of a friend if they don't click a link for more details. However, clicking that link can infect your computer with malware. Assistant business editor Nick Pappas interviewed me, Tom...
Estate Planning Lessons from the Frozen Dead Guy
Check out today's blog post on the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys website! My guest blog post is all about what we can learn from the strange but true story of how Bredo Morstoel became the frozen dead guy at the center of the Frozen Dead Guy Days festival. To find out the story highlights and the lessons we can learn from Grandpa's example, read the story: Estate Planning Lessons from the Frozen Dead Guy Then mark your calendar...
Video: Jewish Funeral Traditions and Superstitions
Jewish traditions related to death, funerals and mourning are rarely taught in Hebrew School. In this show-and-tell class, items used for Jewish funerals were examined. The historical, practical and ritual reasons for each element before, during and after a funeral were discussed. Items included burial shrouds (tachrichim), the keriah tradition of tearing a ribbon or clothing, a shivah candle that marks the seven-day period of mourning, a water...
Exploring Buddhist Funeral Traditions on A Good Goodbye Radio
If you were to attend a Buddhist funeral in America, would you know how to act and what to do? This A Good Goodbye Radio program can help fill your knowledge gap. Buddhist funerals incorporate many elements of other faiths’ funerals, such as programs, flowers, ushers, and working with clergy and a funeral home. Buddhist funeral traditions also incorporate many aspects unfamiliar to most non-Buddhist Americans – the Pillow Service, altar items...
Video: Funeral Cost Management
When it comes to paying for funeral costs, many families are caught short. They're surprised by the cost, which ranges from $7,000 to $12,000, in addition to cemetery expenses, obituaries and flowers. The management of funeral costs was discussed at length in episode eight of the TV interview series, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die. In this short overview, we look at an infographic from Funeralwise.com that...
News and Notes: Facing Mortality
We have a very special guest on this week's A Good Goodbye Radio program. Dr. Jeffrey Piehler wrote an essay titled "Ashes to Ashes, but First a Nice Pine Box" that appeared in the Sunday New York Times on February 2. Facing his mortality due to incurable Stage 4 prostate cancer, he decided to build his own wooden coffin for his eventual funeral and cremation (click for more background). Please join me and Jeff Piehler for an honest...
Video: Online Funeral Planners Help Budget Expenses
It is such a relief to be prepared before there's a death in the family. Sure, when someone dies, you're sad, but you don't have to be extra-stressed on top of grief. That's why preneed funeral planning is such a gift. The first episode of the TV interview series A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die looks at the many elements of preneed funeral planning. Guests Barbara Stewart and Mark Ballard, both with FRENCH...
Dr. Jeffrey Piehler on Building Your Own Coffin
Would you build your own coffin? Dr. Jeffrey Piehler has incurable Stage 4 prostate cancer. He’s been living with it for 11 years and underwent numerous conventional and trial treatments. On February 2, his essay titled “Ashes to Ashes, but First a Nice Pine Box” appeared in The New York Times Sunday Review section, prompting much response. You see, Dr. Piehler, a retired thoracic surgeon who lives near Kansas City, Kansas, built his own coffin...
News and Notes: Artists, Entertainers and Estates
The latest Albuquerque Death Cafe attracted 18 people over the weekend to Sheila's Sweets for a wide-ranging conversation about mortality issues. It's all so we can make the most out of this finite lifetime. More details in this blog post. This week's guest on A Good Goodbye Radio is Sherri Burr, a law professor and author or co-author of 19 books, including Wills & Trusts in a Nutshell 4th Edition and Entertainment Law in a Nutshell 3rd...
18 Attendees Share Thoughts at Latest ABQ Death Cafe
On Saturday, February 2, 18 people came to share their thoughts on mortality to get the most out of this [finite] lifetime at the latest Albuquerque Death Cafe. The eight men and ten women all had their individual reasons for attending the free event at Sheila's Sweets, and the conversation was fascinating, as always. Lola the plastic skeleton presided at the head of the table, wearing a cowboy outfit. Remember, "whatever Lola wants, Lola...
How To Keep Your Loved One’s Ashes Close
If you have ever wondered how you can keep the cremated remains of beloved people or pets close by, here is a brief guide to your options. Today you have quite a variety of choices in mass-manufactured and handmade urns and jewelry. For American-made products, there are handmade ceramic urns, wooden urns, copper urns, biodegradable urns, urn-like jewelry, glass jewelry and keepsakes that incorporate ashes. Handcrafted memorial pieces are as...
Artists and Entertainers Need Wills and Trusts, Too
Many people think wills and trusts are just for millionaires. However, artists, writers and entertainers whose work lives on after they’ve died have special needs for estate planning. Professor Sherri Burr joins host Gail Rubin on A Good Goodbye Radio on Wednesday, February 5 at 6:00 p.m. ET/3:00 p.m. PT on Toginet 2.0 Talk Radio to discuss estate planning for artists and entertainers, as well as your average person. Sherri Burr is a Yale Law...
News and Notes: Frozen Dead Guy Days and More
If you've never heard of Frozen Dead Guy Days, it's an icy cold, wild and wacky celebration of life - and yes, there is a real frozen dead guy at the center of it all. In 1989, the body of Bredo Morstoel traveled from Norway to the U.S., coming to rest in Nederland, Colorado, where his grandson planned to operate a cryonics lab. Though the facility never opened, “Grandpa” Bredo remains famously deep frozen by dry ice in a storage shed....
When Doctors Get Cancer…
Doctors know a lot more about statistics related to surviving diseases than your average patient. That's why the opinion column in yesterday's New York Times by Dr. Paul Kalanithi on living and dying was so important. We must live for today, even if we think we can't go on. Titled "How Long Have I Got Left?" the essay started with the revelations of a CT scan showing lung cancer spreading through his body. It's very different when you're...