The Family Plot Blog
Display and Disposal Choices
Decomposition of a human body is a smelly, messy, germ-ridden process. While it’s a part of the natural order of birth, growth, death and decay, it’s still kind of creepy. Prompt disposal of the body is key to the funeral practices of many cultures. Throughout history, all civilizations developed ways to dispose of human remains into one of the four elements – earth: burial, fire: cremation, water: burial at sea, and most infrequently, air....
Pre-Need Funeral Shopping
Shopping for a funeral when you don’t need one is better than when you do need one.
A Grave Undertaking
In ancient times, and even well into the twentieth century, a family was responsible for preparing the body and burying their own deceased. How times have changed! Most families today pay a funeral home to “undertake” those services, hence the origination of the term undertaker. Over the last 150 years, the scope of funeral services has grown from humble origins to a multi-billion dollar industry. It evolved, starting with woodworkers who made...
Dear Abby on Burial Options
Today's Dear Abby column has a letter from a woman who found out while doing up wills that her husband wants to be cremated and his ashes scattered in the ocean off the beach near where he grew up. Problem is, with her funeral planning, she wants to be buried in their local cemetery so their son can have a place to "visit" both of them, and she doesn't want to spend eternity in a cemetery plot without her husband. What to do? Dear Abby advised...
The Final Party Planner
I'm glad to see there's a new business in Chicago that does for funerals -- the Dispatchings of our lives -- what wedding planners do for the Matchings. An article in Crain's Chicago Business focuses on Loving Touches Memorial Services, party planning for life celebrations. It's another way to do funeral planning with flair, and I'm all for it! I've noticed that some funeral homes have offered catering arrangements and housecleaning as part of...
At-Home Death on Hospice Care
If a loved one dies at home on hospice care, the first call goes to the hospice organization. All hospice programs have registered nurses on call 24/7, and in most states specially certified nurses may officially pronounce the deaths of home hospice patients. Check with a local provider to make sure this is the case in your state. It helps to have a funeral home already selected to call after pronouncement, even if you haven’t made funeral...
“Expected” vs. “Unexpected” Death
Whether a death is a complete surprise or not, here are a few things that happen on the way to a funeral.
From Death’s Door
Someone you love has died. Who do you call first? What do you do next? How do you proceed through the next few days? First, take a deep breath, and exhale. Don’t forget to breathe! Your brain needs plenty of oxygen to cope with the emotions, the decisions to be made, and so many details to work out. Fundamentally, breathing is what sets the living apart from the dead. Don’t hold your breath when faced with great challenges. Breathe. The...
Pile-Ups to Honor a Death
With Senator Ted Kennedy's recent death, the oral tributes are pouring out over the news media and Internet. Another interesting phenomenon is also happening: Bostonians paying their respects by bringing flowers, candles, cards, pictures and other stuff to leave at the gates of the Kennedy compound in Hyannis Port. This phenomenon is nothing new - we saw it for Michael Jackson's death at various places where he lived, we saw it all over New...
Funeral Etiquette – Flowers & Cards
Did you see today's Dear Abby column? A woman wrote her in-laws a nasty note because when her father died six weeks ago, they didn't send flowers to the viewing and didn't send a sympathy note to her mother until two weeks after the funeral. The in-laws lived out of state and weren't close to the daughter-in-laws' parents. Their question was, should they have sent flowers, and is two weeks too late to send a sympathy card? Dear Abby said...
More News on End-of-Life Issues
You know, Sarah Palin may have done the hospice and palliative care movement a great favor with her incendiary comment about "death panels." Look for these two thoughtful articles from yesterday's New York Times: Months to Live: At the End, Offering Not a Cure, but Comfort by Anemona Hartocollis, a wonderful profile of a palliative care doctor and a couple of his patients. Doctor and Patient: Talking Often, and Calmly, About Dying by Pauline W....
Funeral Viewing Lesson
This Associated Press story is about a family that found itself viewing another man's dead body at the funeral for their father. There's a valuable lesson here: If you're going to put the body on display, take a look to make sure it's the right person in the casket before the funeral starts. But, man, what if it was a closed casket ceremony and no one knew the wrong body was in there? There's a tragic comedy scenario waiting to happen.
“Death Panels” or Prudent Planning?
Even with advance medical directives in place, when the time comes to put the patient’s wishes into action, real life gets messy.
Who Is Gail Rubin and Why is She Writing About Funeral Planning?
As a columnist for the now-defunct Albuquerque Tribune, I wrote “Matchings, Hatchings, and Dispatchings,” a how-to feature about local weddings, births, and deaths. The columns on death invariably elicited the greatest number of responses from readers who resonated with the information. To help people better handle the life cycle event associated with death, I have focused my writing and researching efforts to show the many ways "dispatchings"...
Why Plan Ahead for a Funeral?
Here’s a thought to consider. With a wedding, you have weeks, months, even years to plan, purchase and implement all the aspects: clergy, location, communications, flowers, clothing, music, food, transportation, and so on. With a funeral, you have only an average of 24 to 72 hours to make the same types of arrangements, while also dealing with the emotional impact of the loss of a loved one. Planning a funeral right after a family member dies...
Why Have a Funeral or Memorial Service?
Maybe you don’t care what people do about you after your death. After all, you won’t be around to enjoy the party. But the people who love you care deeply. My friend Gary, a confirmed bachelor in his 60s with no immediate family in the area, says that he doesn’t want a funeral when he dies. To his way of thinking, he’s not religious, doesn’t like ceremonies or rituals, and doesn’t want people to make a fuss. But so many of his friends will miss...
Welcome to The Family Plot
Passed on. Kicked the bucket. Gave up the ghost. Checked out. Left the building. Keeled over. Took the Big Bus. Caught the last train. Bought the farm. Paid the ultimate price. Pushing up daisies. Knocking on the Pearly Gates. Taking a dirt nap. Gone to the Great (whatever) in the Sky. There are so many euphemisms for death. How many people will just say so-and-so died? We’re afraid to think or talk about death, perhaps for fear that its...