Dear Abby on Burial Options

Sep 8, 2009 | 0 comments

Today’s Dear Abby column has a letter from a woman who found out while doing up wills that her husband wants to be cremated and his ashes scattered in the ocean off the beach near where he grew up. Problem is, with her funeral planning, she wants to be buried in their local cemetery so their son can have a place to “visit” both of them, and she doesn’t want to spend eternity in a cemetery plot without her husband. What to do?

Dear Abby advised continuing to talk with her spouse until they have a meeting of the minds on the topic, which is excellent advice. Of course, whoever lives longer gets to make the final decision. But the great thing about cremated remains is you can divvy them up. Part of her husband’s ashes could be scattered in the ocean and part could be buried with her. Problem solved!

Dear Abby also made a very good point about children “visiting” graves of parents. In our mobile society, their son may pick up and move very far away, so a visit may not happen very often. She suggested that she not base her preference on what her son may or may not want to do after he reaches adulthood.

Think your kids who are now living across town or in towns across the country will want to be buried in a family plot? Better talk it over before investing in cemetery spaces on the assumption that your children will want to be buried in a family plot. You may be in for a rude awakening.

A Good Goodbye