The Family Plot Blog
New Movie on a Living Memorial Service
Just heard about a new movie coming out that provides a light look at funeral planning. Called Get Low, starring Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek and Bill Murray, the film's tagline is "Every secret dies somewhere." The short synopsis according to the International Movie Database is: A movie spun out of equal parts folk tale, fable and real-life legend about the mysterious, 1930s Tennessee hermit who famously threw his own rollicking funeral...
Radio Interview Thursday on WCOM-FM
Gail Rubin, author of The Family Plot Blog and A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die, will be interviewed Thursday, July 29 at 1:00 p.m. ET/noon CT/11:00 a.m. MT/10:00 a.m. PT on the radio program The Boomer Beat on WCOM-FM in Carrboro, NC. This one-hour program is an interesting mix of songs related to the theme of the day and conversation. Host Beverly Mahone will be talking with Gail Rubin about the latest trends...
Aetna Accelerates Life Insurance Payments
Scott Beeman, head of Aetna Life Insurance, which recently introduced expedited payments and funeral planning to their services, knows the value of speedy life insurance claims processing from personal experience. His father died when he was 11 years old. "Any mail that was received for my father, we sat on a dining room table, and I don’t think my mom opened up my father’s mail until six or seven months after his death. And I would bet,...
Life Insurance, Death Benefits and Funeral Planning
If you're like many people, you think your life insurance policy will pay for your funeral. Well, yes, it can -- eventually. You may not realize the money from a life insurance policy usually doesn't become available until an official death certificate for the insured person is issued by the state, and that can take weeks or even months to process. Some families who count on life insurance to cover funeral expenses have to scramble to cover...
Regarding Eulogies at Funerals
Rabbi Eric H. Yoffie has an essay at Huffington Post.com titled "Funeral Fiascos: Should Jews Rethink How We Honor the Dead?" Rabbi Yoffie raises a number of good points about who presents a eulogy at a funeral, how many people speak, and what they say. Based on my experience attending hundreds of funerals and memorial services, he is right on. Here are a few highlights of his essay: "A friend of mine recently attended the funeral of someone he...
When Facebook Users Die
There's a great article in today's New York Times titled, "As More Facebook Users Die, Ghosts Reach Out to Reconnect," by Jenna Wortham. It's all about how the fastest-growing group of users are 65 and older, a group that also has the country's highest mortality rate, and what's happening on Facebook as these users die. While family members or friends can make their loved ones' pages into memorial profiles, Facebook's software has a disturbing...
Radio Interview on Monday
Tune in online to radio station Talk820, based in Hamilton, Ontario, at 11:00 a.m. Eastern Time, 9:00 a.m. Mountain Time. Gail Rubin will be a guest on the Nabuurs and Friends program, talking about creative funerals and memorial services, and of course, funeral planning for those who don't plan to die!
Essay on Hospice Death and Unexpected Goodbyes
Huffington Post columnist Nancy Cronk, director of Progressive Outreach in Colorado, recently posted a wonderful piece titled My Father's Final Journey in Hospice, which is well worth your time to read. Here are a few paragraphs: "No one can understand how much anguish end-of-life decisions can cause, unless they have been through it with a loved one. Every impulse we have during our lifetime centers around caring for ourselves and other people...
Poker Players Provide Widow with Supportive Community
On the CBS Evening News on Monday, July 12, Steve Hartman did a really nice story about ways to remember a loved one who has died. His story is titled "Keeping a Poker Player's House Full - The Death of Russell Hughes Didn't End Poker Night at His Home - and That's Just How His Grieving Widow Wants It." "Jo Anne Hughes is a 58-year-old widow from Dallas, Texas, with a story to tell about losing a spouse way too early - and that fine line you...
The Blue-Sky Mausoleum by Frank Lloyd Wright
I recently visited the Forest Lawn Cemetery in Buffalo, New York, a beautiful memorial garden founded in 1849. The rolling hills were covered with amazing statuary, family plots with huge monuments, fascinating memorial markers, and exquisite old crypts. Its 269 acres are the final resting place of more than 152,000 individuals, including President Millard Filmore. The park-like space, with ponds, trees, and flowers, is designed to attract the...
Articles on Funeral Planning
Just posted two articles on funeral planning over at my other web site, www.AGoodGoodbye.com. They are: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan To Die In America, death is often regarded as the classic Monty Python routine about the Spanish Inquisition. “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapons are fear, surprise, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.” Despite the fact that humans have a 100% mortality rate, we don’t...
Military Funeral Traditions
U.S. military funerals have their own elements that vary by rank. Basic military funeral honors feature an American flag draped over the casket, an honors detail of two or more uniformed military persons, including one being a member of the veteran’s parent service of the armed forces, flag folding and presenting, and the playing of Taps. At graveside, the honor detail conducts a flag-folding ceremony, meticulously folding the flag 13 times,...
Native American Funeral Traditions
The funeral customs of Native Americans, known in Canada as First Nations people, involve the community in activities to honor the deceased and support the family. There are 564 tribes in America, approximately 1.9 million people. Each tribe has their own variation on funeral customs, including use of Native languages, symbols, ceremonial objects and practice. Native people consider the natural world a sacred place, with religious activities...
Wills and Trusts and Why You Need Them
What if someone dies without a will or trust? If you don’t have a will, the state has one for you that dictates which relatives get your assets, whether you want those folks to get your stuff or not. Each state in the U.S. has intestacy statutes that say how assets will be divided upon your death if you don’t have a will. While this varies from state to state, the line of succession usually goes to spouse and kids, parents, siblings, and...
Different Faiths on End-of-Life Issues
Yesterday, I attended a forum with religious leaders from different faiths discussing end-of-life issues, held by the Albuquerque branch of Compassion and Choices. The panelists included the Rev. George Reynolds of the Aquinas Newman Center; Rabbi Min Kantrowitz of Jewish Family Services; Rev. Steven Tvedt of Solamor Hospice, and the Rev. Jan Hosea from St. Chad's Episcopal Church. The moderator was Samuel Roll, PhD. Here are some comments from...
Unitarian Universalist Funeral Traditions
This post highlights general funeral practices for Unitarian Universalists. The actual practices of individuals, families, and congregations may vary. Treatment of the body: The body is rarely viewed at the memorial service. Sometimes a visitation is held prior to the service at the funeral home or church. Cremation and embalming are accepted. Funeral or memorial services: The Unitarian Universalist end-of-life ritual is called a memorial...
Talking to Kids About Death
A recent post by Judith Acosta, LISW, CHT on the Huffington Post provides valuable insights on how to talk to children about death. Quoting from her article: There are few words that can silence a group of people faster than the word "death." It is the last great American Taboo. This is an interesting American quirk. We will sit at a table full of people from all walks of life, of all ages and talk about our sex lives, our addiction histories,...
Roman Catholic Funeral Traditions
Roman Catholic Funeral Traditions This post highlights general funeral practices for Roman Catholics. The actual practices of individuals, families, and congregations may vary. There are more than 61 million Roman Catholics in the United States, encompassing many different ethnic traditions. Funerals usually take place within two to three days, possibly up to one week after the death. The first day after a death is usually reserved for the...
Funeral Traditions for Various Orthodox Churches
This post highlights general funeral practices for various Orthodox churches besides Greek Orthodox: Antiochian Orthodox, Carpatho-Russian Orthodox, Romanian Orthodox, Russian Orthodox, Serbian Orthodox and Ukranian Orthodox. The actual practices of individuals, families, and congregations may vary. Treatment of the body: Embalming is accepted. The body is usually viewed during the funeral. Cremation is frowned upon and is cause for the Church...
Mormon (LDS) Funeral Traditions
This post highlights general funeral practices for the Mormon Church, also known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS). The actual practices of Mormon individuals, families, and congregations may vary. Treatment of the body: The body may be viewed, either at a visitation event at a funeral home and/or during the funeral. Typically the body is buried in all white clothing, signifying purity. If the deceased received blessings...
Methodist Funeral Traditions
This post highlights general funeral practices for the Methodist Church. The actual practices of Methodist individuals, families, and congregations may vary. You can read about two examples of Methodist memorial services from the 2010 30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge: Katherine Spates Buell and Herb Bischoff. There are about twenty-three separate Methodist denominations in the United States, with approximately 8.5 million adherents. A pastor...