The Family Plot Blog
God Moves Mountains
Happy Sunday morning! Saw this sign at the historic Lynnhaven United Methodist Church in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Whatever your religion (or even if you embrace no religion at all), it's a good thought for today, and all week long. Sometimes it seems that shovel moves soooo slow. And then other times, it happens really fast!
Burial or Cremation? Some Thoughts
Visited an old church graveyard in Virginia Beach this morning. There among graves of people born during the Civil War was a new development - a cremated remains niche wall. Something to think about, and talk about, with your family. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvCHIjnylAs Did I say "The Funeral Plot Blog"? Oops! Please visit the website for A Good Goodbye for more information!
Famous Dead Americans in New Mexico
This week's Alibi features the theme "7 Wonders of New Mexico." Of course, I'm partial to the story "7 Grave Wonders: Rest in Peace Famous Americans." Among those they recognize: Billy the Kid: Nov. 23, 1859-July 14, 1881 Legends about this outlaw will go on forever, but we do know that he was shot to death at age 21. A cage has been placed around Billy the Kid’s entire grave because thieves have attempted to steal his tombstone multiple times....
Expert Comments on Conversation Starting
Resistance to starting funeral planning conversations can come from members of both older and younger generations. Adult children will frequently say things like "Don't be morbid" when a parent wants to talk about putting their affairs in order. Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, MDiv, is a Professor of Gerontology at the Graduate School of The College of New Rochelle and Senior Consultant to the Hospice Foundation of America (HFA). I've met him at the...
Texting for Seniors
Maybe you saw these making the rounds on email... A new guide on texting abbreviations, specially for seniors! ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friends Funeral BTW - Bring the Wheelchair BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth CBM - Covered by Medicare CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center DWI - Driving While Incontinent FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers FWIW - Forgot Where I Was FYI - Found Your Insulin GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low GHA - Got...
Muslim Burial At Sea Laws
Muslim burial and background on Islamic laws on burial at sea from Leor Halevi, an associate professor of history at Vanderbilt University, ran in the New York Times today. Halevi is the author of Muhammad's Grave: Death Rites and the Making of Islamic Society. Here's what he had to say on the religion's rituals in the Week in Review section: AFTER Osama bin Laden’s corpse was slipped into the North Arabian Sea, the White House’s chief...
Memorial Day Photo Contest by Funeralwise.com
Funeralwise.com invites photographers across the U.S. to participate in its first annual Memorial Day Photo Contest. This photography contest will recognize and reward photographers whose images convey the meaning and emotion associated with Memorial Day in cemeteries across the United States. The Funeralwise.com Fan-tastic Photo Contest offers a $500 Grand Prize. Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, unofficially started during the...
13 Things the Funeral Director Won’t Tell You
Great funeral planning information from Joshua Slocum, executive director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance (www.Funerals.org), and funeral directors in Illinois, New Jersey, Tennessee, and Washington. You probably won't hear funeral directors telling you: 1. Go ahead and plan your funeral, but think twice before paying in advance. You risk losing everything if the funeral home goes out of business. Instead, keep your money in a pay-on-death...
Ask Your Mom These Questions
Mother's Day is this Sunday, May 8. How well do you know your mother, if she's still alive? Here are five great questions to ask her this weekend, to help open the lines of communication. I received this thought-provoking note from Mary Cantando, who sends out Woman's Advantage Tip of the Week. She granted permission to run this on The Family Plot Blog. Understand Your Mother This Sunday will be the second Mother's Day since the death of my...
Searching for the Cremated Remains of Jerry Honeycutt
Ever have the cremated remains of a loved one disappear? In Friday's Albuquerque Journal, UpFront columnist Joline Gutierrez Krueger wrote this story, an appeal to help this family find the missing ashes of a man: a son, a father, a veteran. Joline gave me permission to run her article, in the hopes of spreading the search and finding the ashes of Jerry Honeycutt. Can you help? Jerry Honeycutt died a painful death, his last anguished moments...
Funeral Planning Films
Just put together a list of films, both comedies and dramas, that have scenes that can be instructive for funeral planning or at least getting the conversation going. And of course, the TV series Six Feet Under is on the list! The comedy list includes Harold and Maude, The Big Lebowski, Waking Ned Devine, Undertaking Betty, Death at a Funeral (both the U.K. and U.S. versions), and Four Weddings and a Funeral. The dramas include Get Low, About...
Obituaries as Display Ads
Obituaries, a traditional communications vehicle to spread the news about death and funerals, generally fall into two categories: news obituaries and classified obituaries. There is a third type, the display ad obituary, which I'm seeing more of lately. News obituaries are stories written by journalists about someone who has made some notable contribution to humanity or the local community before they died. A reporter will interview one or more...
A Good Goodbye for William Donald Schaefer
The life and character of former Maryland Governor and Baltimore mayor William Donald Schaefer was celebrated yesterday with funeral rituals that covered the geography of his youth to the pinnacle of power. His body lay in state in Annapolis, the capitol of Maryland, and was driven past his boyhood home in Baltimore. The four-term mayor and two-term governor was known for his phrase "Do It NOW." Perhaps that should be inscribed on his...
Etiquette of Blogging About Funerals
In yesterday's Albuquerque Journal, the Ask Thelma column by Thelma Domenici had a question that went to the heart of my 30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge. Dear Thelma: I was wondering if you know of proper etiquette regarding individuals who attend funeral or memorial services and then blog or YouTube about it without notifying or contacting family members. What do you think about that type of action or behavior? Answer: The etiquette here does...
Date with a Woodsman
Something fun to start your holiday weekend. Just had to share this video of a Honda Civic commercial that features the song "All I Want is You" by my friend Barry Louis Polisar. It's all about going green (just not green burial). http://youtu.be/rF_Wu4Ll_BU
Reality Show Seeks Undertaker Family Business
Safford Productions Inc., a casting and production company, is looking for the next reality TV family for a new show, "The Undertakers." This will be a real life comedy/drama that follows the unusual lives of a family of undertakers - think a real life "Six Feet Under." Do you get the strangest requests from people every day in regard to how they want things before coming to their final resting places? Do you know more than most when it comes...
Individual Personal Planning Week in New Mexico
April 16-24, 2011 has been declared "Individual Personal Planning Week" here in New Mexico by Governor Susana Martinez. Are you celebrating National Healthcare Decisions Day tomorrow? Now's the time to get those end-of-life affairs in order - advance directives, heathcare power of attorney designations, wills, etc. Planning for future healthcare or personal decisions can be a significant community service for our friends and families....
Song of Songs Poetry for Jewish Ritual Cleansing
The Jewish religion has a ritual for washing and dressing the dead for burial. This ceremony, called a tahara, is conducted by volunteers with the Chevra Kaddisha, which translates to "sacred society." During the washing part of the ritual, there's a beautiful Jewish tradition to read poetry from the Song of Songs. The poems are different for men and women. Both use loving descriptions to evoke images of the human form in the prime of life....
Obituary for R. Brian Burkhardt, Your Funeral Guy
Robert Brian Burkhardt, the funeral director who wrote the Your Funeral Guy blog, died after a heart attack on January 19, 2011. He was 58 years old. In a sad irony, while he was a crusader for funeral consumers, he left his family totally unprepared – no life insurance, no wishes to follow, no computer passwords on file. Under the nom de plume R. Brian Burkhardt, to distinguish himself from others with the same name, his Your Funeral Guy blog...
Stop for Funeral Cortege Says Dear Abby
Today's Dear Abby column looks at the etiquette of stopping for a funeral procession. A reader asks: For years I have wondered about this every time I have gone to a funeral and have ridden in the procession to the cemetery. As the procession travels to the cemetery, all cars and trucks pull over and stop. That custom strikes me as very touching. I was in another procession last week, and even the UPS truck and several semis pulled over. My...
Witness to a Native American Funeral
The funeral and burial for Tu Moonwalker in a pioneer cemetery located in the open high desert between Albuquerque and Santa Fe incorporated Native American rituals that left me with a profound appreciation for our physical existence and the eternal nature of our spirits. Before describing this funeral, please know that I was invited to attend and write about this event. Before taking pictures, I asked for permission and was told pictures could...