The Family Plot Blog
Report from ADEC Miami Conference
Taking some time while waiting for the plane from Miami to New Orleans to upload this YouTube video about the ADEC conference which wrapped up today. My presentation on "Using Comedy Films to start Funeral Planning Conversations" was very well received. In addition to showing Carpet Kingdom and Plots, there was time to show some scenes from other films to encourage the idea of having a living memorial service. In conversations with other...
Funny Films for Funeral Planning at ADEC Conference
Gail Rubin, “The Doyenne of Death,” will show and discuss comedic films for funeral planning conversations at the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) annual conference in Miami. Her presentation will take place on Thursday, June 23 at 10:00 a.m. at the Intercontinental Hotel in downtown Miami. Rubin, the author of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, will show two short funny films that can help...
Funeral for Dr. Jack Kevorkian
The words about "Dr. Death" Jack Kevorkian show that the man had an impact in getting the end-of-life conversation going. Here is a sampling of articles that have appeared about him since his death and funeral. Click on the name of the publication to read the entire story. Detroit Free Press, June 3: Fieger: 'Kevorkian didn't seek out history, but he made history' Attorney Geoffrey Fieger, who defended Michigan's most famous felon pathologist...
The American Way of (Denying) Death
The Financial Times of London recently ran this thought-provoking column about the American way of living and dying with our current medical system. The author, Kiran Gupta, is a doctor in Boston. Here in the US, efforts to reform end-of-life care quickly lead to concerns about “pulling the plug on grandma”. Dying is inevitable. Doctors are not divine; we cannot cure everyone. But the US healthcare system – which emphasises heroic interventions...
Frozen Dead Guy Days for Sale
I have a warm spot in my heart for Frozen Dead Guy Days, having presented "The Newly-Dead Game" there back in March. Then I see the festival is for sale! But it sounds like Grandpa will still be hangin' in the Tuff Shed. Here's a news story about it in the Boulder Daily Camera: For sale: Nederland's Frozen Dead Guy Days festival Chamber of commerce seeks event company to take over quirky festival By Laura Snider, Camera Staff Writer The...
Dying is Easy Quotes
Over the weekend, the phrase "Dying is easy; comedy is hard (or difficult)." came to mind. There are a number of amusing variations on this quotation. The quote has been attributed to a number of actors, including Edmund Kean (died 1833); Edmund Gwenn, who played Santa Claus in the 1947 film Miracle on 34th Street (died 1959); George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright (died 1950); Donald Wolfit, English actor (died 1968); Edwin Booth, brother of...
Tahara Ritual Article
A wonderful story recently appeared in The Chicago Tribune about how to conduct the Jewish rituals for a tahara. Here's the start of the story by Barbara Brotman, which ran in conjunction with a Chicago area convention of Chevra Kaddisha volunteers. Tahara: Respect for the dead and comfort for the living Traditional Jewish ritual of preparing a body for burial is making a comeback with liberal congregations On the table lay a human form covered...
Psalms for Funerals: The 27th
Continuing our psalms for funerals series, consider the 27th Psalm. Many psalms offer consolation and encouragement in the face of trouble and grief. This one offers wonderful imagery of God's shelter in time of trouble, and seeing God's goodness in the land of the living. It recognizes that fathers and mothers pass away. Though our parents may "forsake" us by dying, God is eternal and will take care of us. It offers great encouragement for...
Benjamin Franklin on Death
Wise Words from Benjamin Franklin From Benjamin Franklin, some wise words expressing his view of life and death. He wrote this in a letter to a friend after attending a funeral for a friend. "We are spirits. That bodies should be lent us, while they can afford us pleasure, assist us in acquiring knowledge, or in doing good to our fellow creatures, is a kind and benevolent act of God. When they become unfit for these purposes and afford us pain...
Psalms for Funerals: The 25th
Continuing the psalms for funerals series with Psalm 25. This psalm is a plea for guidance, especially in the dark times after a loved one dies, It provides a reminder of the covenant God makes with those who believe. And like the 23rd, this makes references to helping deal with enemies. A Psalm of David. Unto You, O God, I lift up my soul. O my God, I trust in you: let me not be ashamed, nor let my enemies triumph over me. Let none that wait...
Funeral Elements – Four Rs for A Good Goodbye
“Don’t have a funeral for me when I’m gone.” People say this, not realizing while the memorial service is about them, it’s not really for them. Funerals are for those still living who grieve the loss of someone they love. Funeral and memorial service rituals help recognize this transition, socially acknowledge the death, and help start processing grief to move toward healing. Dr. William G. Hoy, a grief counselor and death educator, explained,...
Videos Make End-of-Life Choices Less Abstract
CBS News recently ran a story about videos that detail end-of-life treatment options and give patients real-world examples to better inform their choices. These videos provide an eye-opening look at what really happens when your medical directives say "Do everything in your power to save me." 25 percent of all Medicare spending, more than 100 billion dollars, is spent in the last year of life. Every year, patients are getting expensive,...
Psalms for Funerals: The 46th
Continuing the psalms for funerals series with Psalm 46. This psalm is probably most famous for the phrase, "Be still, and know that I am God." In the chaos and confusion following a death in the family, Psalm 46 provides the reassurance that God, as the first line says, "is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." A Psalm of David. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear,...
Psalms for Funerals: The 121st
Continuing the psalms for funerals series with Psalm 121. (Note - we're not going in numerical order.) If you live in an area with big hills or mountains that catch your attention on a daily basis, consider Psalm 121. This psalm can give you a regular dose of inspiration and comfort. This is my own updating of the King James version, to make references to God gender neutral. After all, are not both men and women made in the image of God? Psalm...
Psalms for Funerals: The 23rd
Psalms recited at funerals help comfort the living. This Memorial Day weekend, I'm starting a series on psalms for funerals, starting with probably the most popular psalm, the 23rd. Both Jewish and Christian funerals utilize the 23rd Psalm. It affirms that though we face trials in life, with God's support we move through the dark times and can achieve wholeness and fulfillment. Newer translations of this psalm have appeared in the last few...
Two Weddings and a Funeral: Family Meltdowns
Weddings plus funerals equal family stress. Whether the event is happy or sad, planned for months or just days, you can bet someone will melt down. July 23,1983, my first wedding took place on a hot, muggy evening in the garden of an elegant mansion. My father proudly escorted me down the steps. I wore my aunt’s white wedding dress, which had an antebellum hoop skirt that took up a lot of space. A full moon rose in the east as my groom Bob and...
Take Cemetery Photos for Memorial Day Images
With Memorial Day coming up this weekend, remember that amateur and professional photographers can compete to win in the Fan-tastic Photo Contest by Funeralwise.com. The Grand Prize is $500. Get out there and take your best shot! More details: Funeralwise.com invites photographers across the U.S. to participate in its first annual Memorial Day Photo Contest. This photography contest will recognize and reward photographers whose images convey...
Caregivers Need Help Without Having to Ask
Today's Dear Abby column included a letter from a gentleman who's a caregiver for his wife. Since I'm going to be on the "Coping with Caregiving" online radio show today, this letter is timely. DEAR ABBY: My wife has dementia. Our children don't live close by, so I'm her only caregiver. One afternoon a week I hire someone to stay with her so I can grocery shop, do banking and run necessary errands. Neighbors and friends over the years have...
The Living Wake Looks Promising
Just found out about a new film called "The Living Wake." It looks like an intriguing take on living and dying from the trailer. I'm a big fan of the idea of a memorial service while you're still alive to share thoughts and feelings with your family. Here's the official description of the movie: “The Living Wake” is a dark comedy set in a timeless storybook universe. Self-proclaimed artist and genius, K. Roth Binew, has one day to live. He has...
Podcast Link to Public Radio Interview
Yesterday's interview on HearSay with Cathy Lewis went great! We talked about a whole range of funeral planning issues, from burial and caskets to old rituals and new trends. CLICK HERE to listen to the interview or download the podcast.
Radio Interview on WHRV-FM
From noon to 1:00 p.m. ET (10:00 a.m. MT) today, I'll be with Cathy Lewis live in her studio to talk about funeral planning for those who don’t plan to die and the "funny" in funeral. We'll be joined by Robert Webster, a licensed embalmer, funeral director, and author of "Does This Mean You’ll See Me Naked?" The show is titled "That's a Nice Casket You've Got There." HearSay with Cathy Lewis is an award-winning public affairs radio call-in...