The Family Plot Blog
OASIS and Osher Class Updates!
Good news if you were on the wait list for the OASIS cremation talk! They've secured a larger venue and opened it up to more attendees! And don't wait to register for the three Six Feet Under classes at UNM's Osher Lifelong Learning Institute in March. Here's more information about both programs. Ashes to Ashes, Dust in Your Face: OASIS Talk on Cremation Issues Tuesday February 19 1:00 pm to 2:30 pm - Everything you wanted to know about...
Church Women United Talk
On Friday, I had the honor of speaking to more than 50 women at the monthly Albuquerque Church Women United meeting. The title of the talk was "A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die." Among the high points: Comparing Monty Python's "Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition!" to The Princess Bride's Inigo Montoya's "Prepare to Die." Dr. Eben Alexander's key messages from his best-selling book, Proof of Heaven. Jesus is...
FAQ on Shipping Bodies Overseas
The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) recently posted a Frequently Asked Questions page on shipping bodies internationally. If you've ever wondered what you need to know this is a great page to visit. You can also find answers to other shipping questions on this area of the NFDA website. It provides concrete answers to these questions: What documents are needed to send to another country? What documents and procedures are needed to...
Friday Funeral Film: Waking Ned Devine
By Gail Rubin For those who want to win the lottery, Waking Ned Devine provides the reminder you never can tell when your number(s) will come up. As a funeral film, this delightful 1998 comedy shows a beautiful living memorial service scene. Jackie O’Shea and Michael O’Sullivan are best friends in the tiny, remote Isle of Man village of Tullymore. They are both lottery fanatics....
CNBC Shows ‘Death: It’s a Living’ Tonight
The funeral blogs are all a-twitter about tonight's CNBC documentary "Death: It's a Living." It airs at 9:00 p.m. ET/PT, with CNBC’s Tyler Mathisen going inside the $17 billion-a-year “death care” industry. Here's the PR info from CNBC: Death isn’t just a certainty -- it’s an industry, where sympathy and profits go hand in hand. In this one-hour documentary, CNBC tells the fascinating story of a business, which everyone confronts yet few...
New FTC Funeral Rule Opinions
There are some new rules on the books that funeral homes and consumers need to know about. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) is the government entity that oversees The Funeral Rule. This is a set of rules designed to protect funeral consumers that has been in place for about 30 years. They issued some opinions interpreting the rules. Plus, learn more from the National Funeral Director's Association (NFDA) about how funeral homes may impose...
Going Out Your Way at Burger King
A personalized funeral that included a funeral procession stop at Burger King was recently in the news. Remember, it's your funeral. Have it your way! York, PA - A Pennsylvania fast-food fad had one whopper of a funeral. Family members say David Kime "lived by his own rules," so it's only fitting he'd have it his way on the way to the cemetery. The hearse carrying the 88-year-old York man led his funeral procession through a Burger King...
Recycled Cemetery Flower Dresses
Now here's a cool use of spent silk flowers from the cemetery: high fashion! These images were part of an Art in Stiches blog post by Susan Lenz, creative fiber artist. In 2010, she participated in a fashion show of recycled garments. Her entry was a dress created from recycled silk flowers and leaves from local cemeteries. She did NOT take flowers from graves, she rescued discarded arrangements from dumpsters and trash cans. (And there are...
Restricting Flowers in Cemeteries Sends Wrong Message
Is it wrong for cemeteries to remove flowers to keep things tidy? In yesterday's Albuquerque Journal, columnist Leslie Linthicum wrote about a policy change at the Catholic cemeteries run by the Catholic Cemetery Association, titled Flowerless Cemetery Feels 'Cold'. The Catholic Cemetery Association, an independent agency that manages two Catholic cemeteries in Albuquerque and one in Santa Fe, describes its mission to the living on its website:...
Friday Funeral Film: Hannah and Her Sisters
Woody Allen’s classic comedy Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) is an unlikely funeral film, as no one actually dies. But it’s instructive about living and dying. Allen shines at his hypochondriac best as Mickey, who obsesses about death and whether there’s an afterlife. Mickey is bothered by a ringing in his ear and undergoes numerous tests. He’s convinced he has a brain tumor. When it turns out to be nothing, he’s relieved, but experiences an...
NPR’s Losing Our Religion Series
This week, NPR is running a special series of stories titled Losing Our Religion. The content has serious implication for people facing loss, as today's installment showed. This series shows why Certified Celebrants are a growing trend as officiants for funerals and memorial services. After Tragedy, Nonbelievers Find Other Ways to Cope looks at the clash between atheists and the religious in the face of death, especially tragic, untimely ends....
Woody Allen on Life, Death and Advance Directives
Filmmaker, actor, writer and comedian Woody Allen wrote a brilliant opinion piece in Sunday's New York Times: Hypochondria - An Inside Look. His essay provides a great conversation starter on advance directives and end-of-life issues. Allen insists he's not a hypochondriac but an alarmist. He doesn't experience imaginary maladies — his maladies are real. He explains: What distinguishes my hysteria is that at the appearance of the mildest...
Friday Funeral Film: Get Low
"The Real Story Behind the Movie Get Low" is one of the most-visited posts here at The Family Plot Blog. While the true story is fascinating, as today's Friday Funeral Film, Get Low offers vital lessons on funeral planning BEFORE there's a death in the family. The basic story: Felix Bush (Robert Duvall) is a Tennessee hermit with no regard for anybody in the nearby town. No one in town wants to get to know him. They are scared by his gruff...
Announcing A Good Goodbye TV
Funeral Planning TV Shows Talking About Funerals "Won’t Make You Dead" Albuquerque, NM (January 9, 2013) -- Funeral planning television is coming to a screen near you. A Good Goodbye TV, an educational and entertaining 12-episode series of 30-minute programs, will present expert interviews on "everything you need to know before you go." Host Gail Rubin brings a light touch to a serious subject. Like her award-winning book, A Good Goodbye:...
Best Funeral Ever Compared to Undertaking Betty
Last night, the cable channel TLC debuted a pilot reality TV series "Best Funeral Ever." It focused on the Golden Gate Funeral Home in Dallas, TX. The African-American funeral home provides over-the-top celebratory "home-going" funerals. The personalized funerals shown in the movie Undertaking Betty (see previous blog post) pale in comparison. "A home-going is much different than a funeral. A home-going is a celebration," explained one of the...
Friday Funeral Films: Undertaking Betty
By Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death® Undertaking Betty provides a comedic romp behind-the-scenes at two funeral homes in the small village of Wrottin-Powys in Wales. This funeral film offers a fun way to start funeral planning conversations by showing both traditional and highly outrageous personalized send-offs. Betty Rhys-Jones (Brenda Blethyn) is not happy with her life. Her husband is cheating on her with his secretary and Betty must tend...
Comedic Funeral Home Commercials
It takes a forward-thinking funeral home to use comedy in their commercials. Kudos to Schmidt & Bartelt Funeral & Cremation Services! Enjoy these two 30-second commercials, "Bucket List" and "Bugler." http://youtu.be/nKa7_9hp2To You didn't talk about death, you didn't preplan. How times have changed! http://youtu.be/zKji3Lgcnbk Don't spend your money on bugling lessons!
When to Delete Deceased from Your Address Book?
They don't call, they don't write. They're our deceased family and friends whose contact information lives on in our address books. Why do we keep them there? There's a great essay, "Why I keep the Dearly Departed in My Address Book," by Edward Zuckerman in a recent New York Times Magazine on the topic. Read it and enjoy. Some thoughts to ponder: Your own email and online accounts - What happens to them when you die? Do we remember earlier...
On Saying Goodbye
How do we find the words to say a good goodbye? At the tenuous end-of-life time, what do we say to the dying when we don't ever exactly know the precise moment when someone will die? What do the dying say to us - or not? A column by Bruce Feiler in the New York Times explores these questions. His column Exit Lines looks at what people say, or don't say, leading up to death in real life versus what gets said in the movies. He gives examples of...
Friday Funeral Films: The Big Lebowski
By Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death® As a Friday Funeral Film, The Big Lebowski offers several good cremation lessons. The cult classic comedy focuses on bowling, White Russians, and life in Southern California, but it also offers some funeral planning tips. This 1998 movie written and directed by Joel and Ethan Coen is a story about Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski (Jeff Bridges), an unemployed hippie who runs into all sorts of trouble when he’s...
Wanna Buy Casket Accessories?
Ever get emails from China enticing you to buy something? Here's a really non-enticing note I just received. I don't make or sell caskets. Not interested in buying, but it's something to mock! Spelling errors and typos are intact. Dear Gail Rubin, We get your email address from the Internet and learn that you may be interested in casket accessories. We specilized in manufacture of casket accessories for nearly 10 years. We get a competitive...