The Family Plot Blog
Event: Albuquerque Death Cafe August 9
The next Albuquerque Death Cafe will be on Saturday, August 9 at 2:00 p.m. NEW LOCATION: This Death Cafe will be held at the Swiss Alps Bakery Cafe, 3000 San Pedro NE, Suite F, Albuquerque, NM 87110. Phone: 505-881-3063. The objective of Death Cafe is “To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” It’s all about an interesting, unstructured conversation – open and free-flowing with no...
Event: August 7 Jewish Funeral Traditions on Film Presentation
The Aaron Family JCC in Dallas is hosting a presentation by Gail Rubin, CT, titled "Jewish Funeral Traditions on Film." This free event takes place Thursday, August 7, 10:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. at the JCC, located at 7900 Northaven Road, Dallas, TX. Learn Jewish traditions related to death, funerals and mourning in this upbeat talk! Using humorous clips from films including The Cemetery Club, My Mexican Shivah, and Nora’s Will, you’ll understand...
Event: August 6 NFDMA Convention Presentation
Gail Rubin, CT, addresses The National Funeral Directors & Morticians Association (NFDMA) at their 77th annual convention, taking place August 2-7, 2014 in Dallas, Texas at the Hilton Anatole. On August 6, she presents "A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die." Presentation description: Comedy movies can open the door toward preened planning. Funny films provide an effective way to attract people to consider and...
Event: August 5 OASIS Talk “We Can Do That?”
"We Can Do That? New Trends in Death Care" by Gail Rubin, CT, will cover topics including rising cremation rates, aid-in-dying, green burial, DIY/home funerals, QR codes, celebrant services, alkaline hydrolysis and more in this upbeat, fact-filled presentation. The talk will be illustrated by film clips and there will be a drawing for Gail's book and TV series on DVD, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die. The class...
Desmond Tutu in Favor of Aid-in-Dying
Over the weekend, Desmond Tutu, archbishop emeritus of Cape Town and a Nobel peace laureate, expressed his support of death with dignity and assisted dying. His opinions were published in a column in The Observer of London, just before the House of Lords is to debate the issue later this week. Peers will debate an assisted dying bill proposed by the former lord chancellor, Lord Falconer. A record number of peers – 110 so far – have registered...
Gail Rubin’s Draft Obituary
In this age where well-crafted obituaries go viral on the Internet, Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist, The Doyenne of Death®, and host and author of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, wrote her own obituary in advance of her eventual demise. Others are advised to do the same, to help them get the most out of this finite lifetime. Here is her draft obituary, subject to changes. After __ years (starting in 2010)...
Videos that Demystify Hospice and Medical Procedures
When a doctor tells a patient what a ventilator does, it's not nearly as effective as showing the patient the process of insertion and being on the ventilator. Videos can help explain end-of-life issues and foster patient and family understanding better than words alone. Years ago, Dr. Angelo Volandes, an internist and co-founder of ACP Decisions, took care of a hospital patient with terminal cancer. He discussed her prognosis and available...
Friday Funeral Film: The Queen
Need funeral planning guidance? Check out the 2007 film, The Queen. The film traces The Royal Family's evolving response to the death of Princess Diana in 1997 and the planning and implementation of her funeral. After Diana, "The People's Princess," dies in a car accident in Paris, The Queen decides that the Royal Family should hide their mourning behind the closed doors of Balmoral Castle in Scotland. Her aim is to protect her grandsons, the...
New Season of A Good Goodbye TV Starts Tomorrow
If you have Comcast cable TV in Albuquerque, the full series airing of the award-winning television show A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die starts this Thursday, July 3 and runs for 14 weeks. The program will air on Channel 27 twice weekly: Thursdays at 12:30 p.m. and Sundays at 5:30 p.m. A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die presents an educational and entertaining series of 25-minute...
ABQ Death Cafe Conversations from Saturday
The conversation at Saturday's Albuquerque Death Cafe included discussion of Casey Kasem's end-of-life situation, advance directives and wills, physician aid-in-dying, altar calls at funerals, and more. The recent news about the family tug-of-war between Casey Kasem's second wife of 34 years and his children from his first marriage played out in numerous media outlets. We discussed how family relationships can break down after learning about...
Birthday Party as Celebration of Life?
In a recent Dear Abby column, a correspondent posed a question about whether it would be appropriate to hold a 75th birthday party as a "Celebration of My Life -- So Far." This person is enjoying retirement in good health and has a comfortable lifestyle. From the column: I'm excited about it and eagerly anticipating more than 60 guests for cocktails and a sit-down dinner at a nearby hotel. It's not uncommon these days for a celebration of life...
News and Notes: Appreciating Today
Recently, our family had the honor of sharing an entire week together to celebrate my parents' 60th wedding anniversary. All my brothers, their spouses, my niece, and my husband's folks, too, were in on the celebration here in New Mexico. This special time together, with everyone present in body, mind and spirit, was a potent reminder to APPRECIATE TODAY. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Express your love for others, and be generous with your love....
Casey Kasem’s End-of-Life Lessons
It’s a riveting celebrity end-of-life story, featuring an unpredictable second wife feuding with her husband’s kids from his first marriage. Casey Kasem’s final months and weeks provide compelling lessons on end-of-life, blended families, and why one needs advance directives. Casey Kasem died June 15, 2014, at the age of 82. He was the driving force and voice behind American Top 40, a weekly roundup of music hits that graced radio airwaves from...
Sitting Up the Deceased at Visitations
It was front page news in the Sunday New York Times: A funeral home in New Orleans posed a dead woman as she was often seen in life - sitting at a table, a cigarette in one hand, a beer near the other. My husband was surprised I already knew about funeral homes arranging the deceased in "natural" positions for visitations. He should know better - I'm the Doyenne of Death®! The article was titled "Rite of the Sitting Dead: Funeral Poses Mimic...
Event: August 20 “Doctor, How Long Do I Have?”
As a part of the 36th annual New Mexico Conference on Aging, Gail Rubin, CT, presents a film clip-illustrated session titled "Doctor How Long Do I Have?" on Wednesday, August 20 at 1:30 p.m. Having a serious healthcare conversation with your doctor takes effort to ensure clear communications on end-of-life issues and serious diagnoses. In this presentation, learn how to ask questions and be involved in treatment decisions by watching dramatic...
Event: July 24 A Good Goodbye Funny Films Talk
The next Albuquerque funny films for funeral planning talk is a free presentation at the David Specter Shalom House on Thursday, July 24 at 2:00 p.m. Just as talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, talking about funerals won’t make you dead – and your family will benefit from the conversation. In this upbeat talk, Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, illustrates points about funeral planning issues with clips from comedy films and television...
Event: ABQ Death Cafe June 28
The next Albuquerque Death Cafe event will be held Saturday, June 28 at 2:30 p.m. at Sheila’s Sweets, 8600 Indian School Road NE, Albuquerque, NM (just east of Wyoming Blvd.). Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, is hosting this event. The objective of the Death Cafe movement is “To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” It’s all about an interesting, unstructured conversation – open and...
10 Funeral Planning Tips on the AAEPA Blog
I'm a monthly guest blogger for the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys. Today's guest blog post is titled "10 Tips for Funeral Planning," on ways to get the conversation started. The ten tip headlines are: 1. Lighten Up and Laugh! 2. Face Facts 3. Consider Costs 4. Decide Disposal 5. Going Green? 6. Party Planning 7. Collect Contacts 8. Find Funding 9. Good Grief 10. Talk Today! For all the details, read the post at AAEPA's site....
Lessons from a Dead Dad on Father’s Day
In today's New York Times, an opinion column by Josh Max, titled "My Father, Body and Soul," provides a fitting Father's Day salute, with a lesson on encountering the dead. Shortly after turning 81, his dad had announced he would live another 10 years - not surprising, given his genetics (his mother lived to 93). To everyone's shock, Dad died shortly thereafter, while relaxing in his recliner one July day. His body wasn't discovered until three...
TV Interview Show on Funeral Planning Wins National Award
The TV interview series A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die just won an award in the National Federation of Press Women’s (NFPW) 2014 Communications Contest. A Good Goodbye TV took second place in the Television Talk Show category. The educational and entertaining 12-episode series of 25-minute programs with expert interviews on "everything you need to know before you go" won first place in the New Mexico Press...
The Ignorant, The Insensitive and The Idiot
Kate Hamilton, co-founder of The Funeral Ladies website, recently wrote an article titled "What to say to a grieving person." Perhaps this lesson on funeral etiquette would have been better titled, "What NOT to say to a grieving person." She listed a number of actual quotes heard at funerals and visitations, the worst and the best, collected from contributors through Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Unfortunately, the worst comments far...