The Family Plot Blog
News and Notes: Appreciating Today
Recently, our family had the honor of sharing an entire week together to celebrate my parents' 60th wedding anniversary. All my brothers, their spouses, my niece, and my husband's folks, too, were in on the celebration here in New Mexico. This special time together, with everyone present in body, mind and spirit, was a potent reminder to APPRECIATE TODAY. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Express your love for others, and be generous with your love....
Casey Kasem’s End-of-Life Lessons
It’s a riveting celebrity end-of-life story, featuring an unpredictable second wife feuding with her husband’s kids from his first marriage. Casey Kasem’s final months and weeks provide compelling lessons on end-of-life, blended families, and why one needs advance directives. Casey Kasem died June 15, 2014, at the age of 82. He was the driving force and voice behind American Top 40, a weekly roundup of music hits that graced radio airwaves from...
Sitting Up the Deceased at Visitations
It was front page news in the Sunday New York Times: A funeral home in New Orleans posed a dead woman as she was often seen in life - sitting at a table, a cigarette in one hand, a beer near the other. My husband was surprised I already knew about funeral homes arranging the deceased in "natural" positions for visitations. He should know better - I'm the Doyenne of Death®! The article was titled "Rite of the Sitting Dead: Funeral Poses Mimic...
Event: August 20 “Doctor, How Long Do I Have?”
As a part of the 36th annual New Mexico Conference on Aging, Gail Rubin, CT, presents a film clip-illustrated session titled "Doctor How Long Do I Have?" on Wednesday, August 20 at 1:30 p.m. Having a serious healthcare conversation with your doctor takes effort to ensure clear communications on end-of-life issues and serious diagnoses. In this presentation, learn how to ask questions and be involved in treatment decisions by watching dramatic...
Event: July 24 A Good Goodbye Funny Films Talk
The next Albuquerque funny films for funeral planning talk is a free presentation at the David Specter Shalom House on Thursday, July 24 at 2:00 p.m. Just as talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, talking about funerals won’t make you dead – and your family will benefit from the conversation. In this upbeat talk, Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, illustrates points about funeral planning issues with clips from comedy films and television...
Event: ABQ Death Cafe June 28
The next Albuquerque Death Cafe event will be held Saturday, June 28 at 2:30 p.m. at Sheila’s Sweets, 8600 Indian School Road NE, Albuquerque, NM (just east of Wyoming Blvd.). Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, is hosting this event. The objective of the Death Cafe movement is “To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” It’s all about an interesting, unstructured conversation – open and...
10 Funeral Planning Tips on the AAEPA Blog
I'm a monthly guest blogger for the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys. Today's guest blog post is titled "10 Tips for Funeral Planning," on ways to get the conversation started. The ten tip headlines are: 1. Lighten Up and Laugh! 2. Face Facts 3. Consider Costs 4. Decide Disposal 5. Going Green? 6. Party Planning 7. Collect Contacts 8. Find Funding 9. Good Grief 10. Talk Today! For all the details, read the post at AAEPA's site....
Lessons from a Dead Dad on Father’s Day
In today's New York Times, an opinion column by Josh Max, titled "My Father, Body and Soul," provides a fitting Father's Day salute, with a lesson on encountering the dead. Shortly after turning 81, his dad had announced he would live another 10 years - not surprising, given his genetics (his mother lived to 93). To everyone's shock, Dad died shortly thereafter, while relaxing in his recliner one July day. His body wasn't discovered until three...
TV Interview Show on Funeral Planning Wins National Award
The TV interview series A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die just won an award in the National Federation of Press Women’s (NFPW) 2014 Communications Contest. A Good Goodbye TV took second place in the Television Talk Show category. The educational and entertaining 12-episode series of 25-minute programs with expert interviews on "everything you need to know before you go" won first place in the New Mexico Press...
The Ignorant, The Insensitive and The Idiot
Kate Hamilton, co-founder of The Funeral Ladies website, recently wrote an article titled "What to say to a grieving person." Perhaps this lesson on funeral etiquette would have been better titled, "What NOT to say to a grieving person." She listed a number of actual quotes heard at funerals and visitations, the worst and the best, collected from contributors through Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Unfortunately, the worst comments far...
Memorial Marker Frames at ICCFA 2014
How do you prevent weeds from growing around gravestones? Here's a twist on an idea born from recycled tire mulch mats around trees that can help cemeteries better manage their maintenance. Jeff Nepa with NEPA Innovations presented the Lasting Beauty Memorial Frame at the 2014 ICCFA expo. These frames are manufactured from recycled rubber. Placed around grave markers and headstones, they prevent unsightly weeds, provide for easy maintenance,...
Dressing the Dead
Here is a moving guest blog post by Kathy Wagoner, an award-winning essay titled "Dressing the Dead." She and her sister helped dress both their deceased parents prior to their funerals. It is a healing activity that you can ask the funeral home to allow you to do. Kathy's essay expresses it beautifully. Dressing the Dead My sister and I clutched plastic grocery bags stuffed with the remains of an old soldier’s pride as we hurried across the...
News & Notes: Media Moves
Just got news yesterday from the National Federation of Press Women that my TV show A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die is a winner in the national 2014 NFPW Communications Contest. It won second place for television talk shows. It's a thrill to have the national recognition. After more than a year of producing the weekly A Good Goodbye Internet radio show, the program is going on hiatus. Don't be surprised to hear...
U.S. Cremation Equipment at ICCFA 2014
Retorts are the high temperature ovens used for cremation. They are very big, expensive pieces of equipment. Given the rising trend toward cremation, funeral directors are looking to invest in retorts. Joe Blair with U.S. Cremation Equipment talks about his company's cremation retorts for people and pets. The company had a booth at the expo for the International Cemetery Cremation and Funeral Association's (ICCFA) 2014 convention. Since these...
The Amazing Odor Neutralizer Neutrolene
Here's another discovery at the 2014 ICCFA convention: the amazing odor neutralizer Neutrolene! Chet Robbins, co-founder of Neutrolene, talks about the company's decomposition and odor neutralizer. They have a family of environmentally-safe products that instantly neutralize - not mask - organic odors, The spray eliminates odors emitted by dead human bodies. This is important both in funeral homes and at medical schools. Medical students may...
What is a Good Death?
The public radio program The Really Big Questions just ran an hour-long program titled "What is a Good Death?" It's worth your time to listen to the podcast of this program. "Death is all around us, and Americans do everything in our power to ignore it. Not everyone though," said host Dean Olsher. He interviews a number of fascinating people, including Mary Roach, author of the book Stiff, about what happens to cadavers donated for research....
UONO Creative Caskets at ICCFA 2014
Planning to be buried but don't want any old run-of-the mill casket? Here's a video of some very unique caskets produced by a new company on the U.S. funeral scene: UONO from Germany. Andreas Spiegel with UONO shows their futuristic coffins for biodegradable burial and cremation. The products are just being introduced to the U.S. market in 2014. They offer sleek cocoon caskets, pod-shaped designs in different colors. There's also a cocoon...
Address Physical Grief Reactions as Well as Emotional
Stomach pain, shortness of breath, tension: grief can affect us physically in many ways. However, when people go to grief counselors, chances are they just focus on their thoughts and feelings. Don’t overlook the physical impacts of grief! Emotions are meant to be expressed. Repressed emotions can generate chronic physical pain and disabilities. Dr. Diane Polasky, a Doctor of Oriental Medicine and certified death educator, joins host Gail Rubin...
Alkaline Hydrolysis and Burial.me: New Funeral Disposition Options
Want to be buried in your own back yard or reduce the carbon footprint of your cremation? New technologies are lowering funeral costs and expanding options for disposition of the dead. Many families choose cremation over burial because of much lower costs. But what if one could return to the earth quickly, cleanly and cheaply? Burial.me will allow families to bury their dead on private land at a quarter of the cost of a traditional burial....
How Companion Animals Teach Humans Life Lessons
Our animal companions share great love with their human families. When pets depart this physical sphere, they can teach their human friends important lessons about the eternalness of being. David Hutchings, author of I’m Still Here: Recognizing the Eternalness of Our Companion Animals, joins host Gail Rubin on A Good Goodbye Radio. He discusses lessons humans can learn about love, wellbeing and spirituality from our dogs, cats and other...
Personalized Platinum Caskets at ICCFA
Trey Ganem was inspired to make personalized caskets a few years ago, but it wasn't until 2014 that he began his new business, Personalized Platinum Caskets. At the ICCFA convention expo, he shows off his unique, personalized caskets, tailored to fit the personality of the deceased. The three caskets on display at his booth include a hunter's dream casket (or Duck Dynasty showpiece) with faux alligator lining and reeds painted on the exterior;...