The Family Plot Blog
Happy Birthday, Benjamin Franklin!
Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States and a brilliant Renaissance man, would have turned 309 years old today, should he have lived so long. He was born in Boston on January 17, 1706. Who knew Capricorns could be so witty? This tidbit from Wikipedia shows his thoughts on the possibility of preservation and resurrection after death: In 1773, when Franklin's work had moved from printing to science and politics, he...
Caitlin Doughty on A Good Goodbye Radio
Caitlin Doughty's wildly successful "Ask a Mortician" YouTube video series led to her first book deal with a major publisher. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and Other Lessons from the Crematory (September, 2014, W.W. Norton) is a combination memoir and call to action to become an educated and involved funeral consumer. She is also founder of the Order of the Good Death, Death Salons in Los Angeles, and Undertaking L.A. Caitlin joined me on A Good...
Ecclesiastes: To Everything There is a Season
While Ecclesiastes is not a psalm, it provides wise words that reflect on the meaning of our lives. Passages from this book, a part of the Hebrew Bible, make for appropriate funeral readings. The most famous passage is 3:1-8, which focuses on a time for every purpose under heaven: To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is...
A Ceremony for Cremation
A Ceremony for Cremation By Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death® “Simple” is one popular reason people cite for choosing cremation. Simply send the body off to the crematory for direct cremation and you don’t have to mess with a funeral. No muss, no fuss – just deal with it, go home and move on. While that may sound good to those who want to avoid the messiness of mourning, this simple efficiency can leave a deep emotional hole to fill. Those...
Event: Jan. 7 Brookdale Senior Living Talk
Wednesday, January 7, 2:00 p.m.: The resident association of Brookdale at Valencia, a senior living community with independent living, assisted living and supportive services, asked Gail Rubin to present on “Things to Think About.” It will be a 30-minute talk on end-of-life issues, advance medical directives, preneed funeral planning and tips for avoiding after-death ID theft. The event takes place at 300 Valencia Place SE, Albuquerque, NM.
Event: February 1 Jews and Cremation Talk
At A Taste of Honey, the 12th annual Jewish learning event hosted by the Jewish Community Center of Greater Albuquerque, Gail Rubin presents on “Jews and Cremation.” The U.S. cremation rate is climbing, and Jews – who historically bury – are part of that rising rate. Examine the “why” of Jewish burial and cremation, the “how” of the cremation process, and “what’s next” for Jews considering cremation. The full range of presentations at A Taste...
Albuquerque Death Cafe Reminder
Just a reminder for those in Albuquerque who are interested in attending the next local Death Cafe event! We will meet at Gail Rubin's house this Saturday, January 3 from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. We already have ten people who have indicated they will attend, and it should be a lively conversation. The objective of the Death Cafe is “To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” It’s all about an...
A Good Goodbye’s Twelve Days of Christmas
In honor of the holiday, here's the list of gifts for "The Twelve Days of Christmas" with a twist. These are items that funeral homes might sell or families may provide at memorial services. (I have received a number of these items at the services I've attended.) Play this embedded media file while you go through the items in the song. This version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is performed by the Philadelphia Brass Ensemble on their...
FuneralRadio.com Hosts Discuss New Funeral Trends
FuneralRadio.com offers podcasts covering a range of funeral-related topics, including the business of funerals, end-of-life issues, pet loss, green burial, celebrants and other related topics. The hosts of these shows offer a wealth of expertise. They include: Ray Aikens, a longtime mortician and funeral director who hosts Directors' Exchange Dan Isard, an expert in the business side of the funeral industry and host of The Dan Isard Show Joe...
“Like” A Good Goodbye and Win Prizes!
If you haven't "liked" the Facebook page for A Good Goodbye Funeral Planning, here's a little end-of-year incentive. You can win a copy of both the award-winning book and TV interview series A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die (a $75 value) by simply liking the page and sharing the post on your timeline. If you already like A Good Goodbye Funeral Planning, "like" the post about the drawing and share it, and you'll...
News and Notes: Seeking Light in Dark Times
Holiday greetings! Here at the darkest time of the year, we seek illumination and cheer in twinkling lights, candles and the warmth of a fire in the hearth. I've always resonated with the Biblical image of the burning bush, when the Divine speaks to us through flaming shrubbery. (Monty Python fans, did you hear the cry?). Death can be the beginning of a journey into a dark time for the living. It doesn't have to be so dark or prolonged if we...
The Ethicist on a Cremation Dilemma
The Ethicist column in the New York Times Magazine tackled a question about carrying out a relative's wish to be cremated when the rest of the family prefers burial to preserve green space. A sister is insistent that her siblings carry out her wishes. The author wants to know if the siblings have an ethical obligation to carry out her wishes although they disagree. Check out the question and The Ethicist's answer, and read my solution to the...
Event: Jan. 3 Albuquerque Death Cafe
The next Albuquerque Death Cafe will be held on Saturday, January 3, 2015 from 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. at Gail Rubin’s home. At the Death Cafe, people come together in a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss death and end-of-life issues, drink tea (or your favorite beverage) and eat delicious cake or cookies. If you want to attend, send an email to Gail [at] AGoodGoodbye.com to RSVP for the address and directions. Or join the...
Mortality Minute: Cremation Considerations
Hi, I’m Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, with today’s Mortality Minute. Are you considering cremation? You're not alone. The U.S. national cremation rate averages 42 percent and it's climbing. The Cremation Association of North America predicts the national average will exceed 50 percent by 2017. Does your family know if you want cremation? Now, some states allow cremation self-authorization, but you have to be alive to be able to do it...
Comparing Cornea and Organ Donation
Yesterday, my dad had a cornea transplant. Today, we went back to the renowned Bascom Palmer Eye Institute for his follow-up appointment. While we were waiting for his surgeon to check out the success of the operation, I asked Dr. Palioura, a fellow at the Institute, about some of the details about cornea transplants and where those corneas come from. She told me all corneas are "harvested" -- that is, taken out of -- cadavers within seven days...
Mortality Minute: The Funeral Rule
Hi, I'm Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, with today's Mortality Minute. As a funeral consumer, you have specific rights when buying goods and services from a funeral home. The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule, issued in 1984, gives you these rights, such as: The funeral home has to provide a written list of itemized prices upon request, in person or over the phone. You have the right to choose only those goods and services you want,...
FRENCH Funerals Pioneers Improvements with Passare
Here in Albuquerque, FRENCH Funerals-Cremations leads the way in ground-breaking improvements in the funeral business. When you add in their involvement with Passare, their pioneering influence extends far beyond New Mexico. Using Passare's online Collaboration Center, FRENCH's funeral directors have been able to significantly shrink the amount of time families spend on planning at the funeral home and reduce the stress level for families who...
Jewish Funeral Tradition Presentations on Video
Many Jews and their interfaith partners don’t know what to do when a death in the family occurs. It doesn't have to be that way. These YouTube videos of talks I've given over the past year explain many Jewish traditions (and superstitions) regarding death, funerals, burial, and mourning. My most recent talk, "Jewish Funeral Traditions on Film," took place November 18, 2014, in Las Vegas, Nevada. The event was held by the Jewish Community Center...
Event: Jan. 28 Estate Planning: Hollywood Myth vs. Fact
The way the movies portray it, wills are supposed to cover funeral plans in addition to the distribution of assets. Unfortunately, only about one-third of adults actually undertake end-of-life planning: wills and trusts, health care directives and funeral arrangements. This can set a family up for emotional and financial disaster. Family members may die before doing any estate planning. Even with a will, funeral plans can go awry. How do you...
News and Notes: Giving Thanks and Talking to Family
The Thanksgiving rush is on, so I'll keep this short. If you are headed to a gathering of several generations in your family, consider using this face time to talk about things that really matter. Get to know the family stories and the lessons learned from life experiences. Appreciate the time you have today with everyone, as tomorrow is not promised. And let's be thankful for the many blessings in our lives. I am thankful for you being in my...
Talking Turkey on End-of-Life Issues at Thanksgiving
As families gather this week to celebrate Thanksgiving, with multiple generations together under one roof, the holidays provide an opportune time to discuss important end-of-life issues: advance medical directives, wills and estate planning, and funeral plans. Here are a number of sources that can help get the conversation started - if not over the turkey, than perhaps the pumpkin pie. Okay, maybe wait until Black Friday - that's an...