The Family Plot Blog
Talkin’ Turkey: Life and Death Issues this Holiday Weekend
My friends at Engage With Grace are once again reminding us to discuss our preferences for medical treatment, before a medical crisis strikes. EWG co-founder Alexandra Drane is the guest on today's prerecorded A Good Goodbye Radio program. We discussed living and dying with intention, and all the information in this special Thanksgiving guest blog post. We love to talk about our lives…what about our deaths? Most of us find ourselves pretty...
Giving Thanks for All Our Blessings
With the Thanksgiving holiday drawing near, I am thankful to you, and to all my faithful readers, for allowing me to keep in touch with you about how to start conversations on serious topics most folks would rather avoid. As Americans gather with their families for a Thanksgiving holiday weekend, it's an opportune time to have those conversations that will enable you to act with courage, care and knowledge when a medical crisis affects a loved...
How to Bounce Back from Loss: The Art of Resiliency
We all experience major disruptions at certain times in our lives. A loved one dies, leaves or gets in trouble; we get fired, laid off or passed over; an important project stalls or gets cancelled. The list, unfortunately, is endless. For some, the impact of these hard times is overwhelming. Recovery, if it comes at all, can be painfully slow. Others show resilience and are admirably able to glide through these times fairly easily, bouncing...
This Thanksgiving, How About Discussing Advanced Directives?
73% of Americans say dying at home is their preference, but anywhere between 20-50% of Americans die in hospital settings. Would your nearest and dearest know your healthcare preferences if you could not speak for yourself? If not, why not discuss your wishes as the family gathers for the Thanksgiving holiday? Alexandra Drane, co-founder of the nonprofit organization Engage With Grace, knows the power of intention applied to life-and-death...
Video of Compassion and Choices Talk
At a recent Compassion & Choices "meet and greet" event, I was honored to be the guest speaker. Among the topics discussed were end-of-life issues, advance directives, informed consent, death language, and the works of John Donne (ask not for whom the bell tolls). Although I can't post the film clips in this talk (YouTube and copyright issues), here's video of what I had to say keyed to clips from The Mary Tyler Moore Show and A Good...
Remembering Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address
Today is the 150th anniversary of President Abraham Lincoln's delivery of his brief speech dedicating the national cemetery for the soldiers who died at the Battle of Gettysburg. It is an elegant statement of eulogy and unity after that battle's terrible loss of life for both the Union and Confederate sides. These powerful words still resonate across time. Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation,...
Gail Rubin on Grief Talk with Audrey
Tune in online this Tuesday, November 19, 2013 at 3:00 p.m. ET / 1:00 p.m. MT to Grief Talk with Audrey on Blogtalk Radio. Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, will talk with host Audrey Pellicano R.N. Grief Recovery Specialist, about why people hesitate to discuss death and funeral planning. We'll talk about how a light touch on this serious subject can help get the conversation started. This includes funeral films (comedies that address some...
Comparing Conventional Burial and Green Burial
It’s been said that conventional burial utilizes enough metal to build a Golden Gate Bridge and enough concrete to build a two-lane highway from New York to Detroit, all going into the ground every single year. The figures from 2002 are staggering: conventional burial uses more than 827 thousand gallons of embalming fluid; over 1.6 million tons of reinforced concrete for vaults; more than 90 thousand tons of steel and 27 hundred tons of copper...
Discussing Facebook Grieving on PBS New Mexico In Focus
How many times have you pulled up your Facebook feed to see news from a friend or acquaintance about a loved one dying? Receiving the support of your online community at a time of loss is a growing trend. Tune in this Friday, November 15 at 7:00 p.m. MT to NEW MEXICO IN FOCUS for a discussion of how social media is changing the way we process grief and tragedy. Facebook and Twitter are becoming the new obituary page. Correspondent Gwyneth...
Religions and Funerals Talk
At yesterday's talk to a group of legal guardians about religion and culture regarding funerals, I spoke about Catholic, Greek Orthodox, other Christian denominations, Jewish, Muslim and Native American traditions. Here's a video of the 55 minute talk, along with many stories of "things to know before you go." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D_i_xznzvI I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death, and I have feared no evil, for God...
NFDA: Merry Christmas From Heaven, Flagpoles and Digital Registries
Here are a few more innovative products showcased at the National Funeral Directors Association's (NFDA) annual convention and expo in Austin during October. Did you know such a wide variety of tools for this trade exists? Messenger Digital Registry Mike Kane with Messenger Stationery, the largest provider of funeral home stationery in North America, describes a new feature on their Expressions digital guest registry. This digital registry...
Baby Boomers: Dispose of Sex Toys Before You Die!
Here's a different kind of end-of-life question for baby boomers: How would you feel about your kids or grand-kids finding your sex toys after you die? How about old love letters or photos you'd rather not share on Facebook or Twitter (and certainly not Linked In!)? It's yet another example of the many threads of our lives that we often don't think about until it's too late to dispose of the evidence before we shuffle off this mortal coil. In...
Grieving With Gratitude
The loss of those we are closest to causes our emotions to go into overdrive. Feelings of sadness, despair and even anger are common during the grieving process. There are ways in which we can turn those emotions around and find ways to grieve with gratitude. From gathering mementos of your loved one to music and giving back to others, finding ways to express your gratitude for being a part of your loved one’s life can go a long way to easing...
Benjamin Franklin on Life, Death and Being Prepared
Benjamin Franklin was an amazing man of many talents, and a Freemason to boot! From a MasonicWorld.com website citation: Printer, author, editor, inventor, scientist, diplomat; founder of schools, postal systems, government; ambassador, wit, speaker; philosopher, politician and Freemason, he was not only the amazing intellect, the Voltaire of Colonial America, but one of the most complex and gifted men of all times. He was the Francis Bacon of...
How Will You Have The Talk of a Lifetime with Your Family?
As the holidays draw near, family get-togethers can provide the opportunity to talk with loved ones about the big events and small details of their lifetimes. Details about values and precious experiences can eventually comprise a great celebration of people’s lives when they do pass away The "Have The Talk of a Lifetime" campaign, launched this year by the Funeral and Memorial Information Council (FAMIC), helps families sit down and talk to...
Design for Death Competition at NFDA
The world's first competition to re-imagine deathcare, Design for Death, drew 1,300 entries from 96 countries in three categories: Eco/Green Deathcare, Wrappings of Mortality and Architecture. The design competition was sponsored by two Singapore-based organizations, the Lien Foundation and the ACM Foundation, and the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA). An international panel of judges selected the winners and winning entries in the...
Cool Hot Wheels at NFDA
There were lots of hearses on display at the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) convention and expo this year. The more traditional funeral director might go for the very proper and upscale Cadillac and Lincoln hearses and limos. The cutting edge funeral directors were looking at two very cool hot wheels from the Tombstone Motorcycle Hearse Company and Vaca Limousines from Mexico. The Tombstone Motorcycle Hearse Jack Feather and his...
Cremation Products and Services at NFDA
Here are some of the cremation products and services on display at the expo for the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), recently held in Austin, Texas. These YouTube videos highlight several exhibitors with unique offerings. Cremation Turtle Urn Here's a new biodegradable cremation urn in the shape of a turtle offers a graceful water disposition ceremony. Darren Crouch, president of Passages International, describes how this handmade...
Healthy Living After Loss Free Teleseminar
Grief recovery specialist Audrey Pellicano with Wise Widow shared some great insights about grief and healing on A Good Goodbye Radio in September. Click here to download the podcast. This Monday, November 4th at 7pm ET, she is presenting a free one–hour tele-class on Healthy Living After Loss. She just returned from presenting this information at a program in Toronto and has presented this information many times. Every time the audience...
“Time of Death” is Tough But True Reality TV
Tonight's Showtime program "Time of Death" takes an honest look at what death is really like. In a world where most TV programs show a surplus of vicarious fake deaths in police dramas, I dare you to watch the real thing. You might actually learn something about end-of-life, and facing fears about living and dying. Learn more about the program. Hank Stuever, TV critic for The Washington Post wrote: I rarely insist that anybody watch anything on...
Life and Death After Fifty: Stories from “The Time of Your Life”
Gray-haired baby boomers living their senior years with gusto have plenty of advice to share on getting the most out of what’s left of this lifetime. The problem is, who listens to them? The new book, The Time of Your Life - Everyone Has a Story (General Store Publishing House), gives emerging seniors a platform to share their words of wisdom. The stories, from 40 people aged from their early 50s to late 90s, provide a road map to life. Each...