The Family Plot Blog
Over Our Dead Bodies: Undertakers Lift the Lid
The squirrel in the casket was the first thing I noticed about the cover of Over Our Dead Bodies: Undertakers Lift the Lid. Did this mean the book was meant for those with short attention spans? ("Squirrel!") No, it relates to one of the behind-the-scenes at the funeral home stories you'll read in this lively collection by Kenneth McKenzie and Todd Harra. They are the funeral director duo who authored an earlier collection of true life tales,...
News and Notes: A Good Goodbye Radio Returns
Exciting news! A Good Goodbye, my Internet radio show, is back in production. The program is now carried on FuneralRadio.com, "The Voice of Funeral Professionals." My program is designed to appeal to both the general public and funeral professionals. The first program podcast will be posted online for download this week. The first guest on the new network is Gale O'Brien, author of Transformation: Creating an Exceptional Life in the Face of...
Recent Testimonials
Here are some glowing endorsements after three recent speaking engagements, and another "thumbs up" for Gail Rubin's engaging presentations on death, dying, funeral planning and end-of-life issues. "Dear Gail - Thank you for your excellent and well-received talk here at OASIS Tuesday. You had rave reviews and comments from our members. They included: useful, helpful information, timely, upbeat, comprehensive, took a taboo subject and...
Event: Sept. 30 CNM Death and Dying Class Presentation
Tuesday, September 30, 10:30 a.m.: Gail Rubin, CT, speaks to Professor Kris Roush’s psychology class on Death and Dying at Central New Mexico Community College (CNM) in Albuquerque. She will present funny film clips related to mortality issues to help the students learn about funeral planning and end-of-life issues. Here's a video of another talk conducted earlier this year at CNM's Montoya Campus. For more information about Gail Rubin's...
10 Good Reasons to Discuss Death
Elaine Voci, a Death Cafe host in Carmel, Indiana, wrote this lovely opinion column "10 reasons why I want to talk about death" that just appeared in the Indianapolis Star. As a pioneer who held the first Death Cafe west of the Mississippi, I agree with her 100 percent. Here's what she wrote: A lot of people shy away from talking about death; they think such conversations are morbid and don’t serve any purpose other than to make people feel...
“In Loving Memory” Obituary for a Child
In the paid obituary section of the newspaper, also known as death notices, you may see "In Loving Memory" entries. These are messages the family places on anniversary dates - date of birth, date of death, or any special day for that family. This "In Loving Memory" notice for a little boy who died at two and a half years old reminds us how to speak with bereaved parents. This appeared recently in the Albuquerque Journal for a child who died in...
BereaveMints at the NFDMA Expo
Did you know there are mints made exclusively for funeral homes? Yes, you can now find BereaveMints given out by funeral directors and limo drivers, providing a soothing lozenge for mourning families. At the National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association convention and expo, I spoke with Jim Finelli, VP of Vending/Food Service Sales for Promotion in Motion, the makers of the mints as well as other candies and fruit snacks. BereaveMints...
A “Breaking Bad” Tour of Albuquerque
Today, we detour into the pop culture phenomenon, Breaking Bad. It just won a slew of Emmy® awards last night, and it was filmed here in my home town of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Back in June, my parents binge-watched the entire five-season series in just a few weeks. For my dad's 84th birthday, I took Mom and Dad on a private tour of filming sites for the TV show. During our excursion, I recorded each stop. We were fortunate to meet Fran, the...
How to Have Good Doctor-Patient-Family Communications
Last week, I presented a film-clip illustrated talk on improving doctor-patient-family communications at the New Mexico Conference on Aging. Titled "Doctor, How Long Do I Have?" the session featured clips from movies to illustrate both positive and negative interactions related to serious diagnoses, end-of-life, advance directives and physician aid-in-dying. Films included Wit, 50/50, Patch Adams, The Shootist, The End, The Descendants,...
Memorial Stone Joke
Have you heard this one? THE MEMORIAL STONE Billy died...His will provided $30,000 for this elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Joyce, turned to her oldest and dearest friend, Jonelle. "Well, I'm sure Billy would be pleased," she said. "I'm sure you're right," replied Jonelle, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?" "All of it," said Joyce ... "Thirty thousand dollars." "No!" ...
Grim Reaper Cartoons and Exploding Caskets
Stories on exploding caskets and cartoons in The New Yorker magazine - many of which involve the Grim Reaper - recently ran in two national news outlets. CBS 60 Minutes story So you want to see your cartoon in The New Yorker? goes behind the scenes at the venerable magazine to explore how the editors select the cartoons they run. Here's a snippet from the end of the piece, about death and humor: We end -- as everything does -- with the Grim...
Casey Kasem’s Wife Plans to Bury Him in Norway
Casey Kasem's twisted end-of-life saga didn't end with his death. As noted in my previous blog post in June, his wife Jean, who lost control of Kasem's medical and end-of-life decisions, still had the control of the late radio personality's funeral plans. She's having her revenge on Kasem's adult children. Jean, his second wife, plans to bury Casey's remains in Norway, contrary to his desire to be interred in Los Angeles and against the rest of...
Final Embrace Products at the NFDMA Expo
When he was young, Tim Totten wanted a Star Trek Next Generation costume. His grandmothers lived right next door to each other, and he asked one if she would make a costume for him. She said she wouldn't make it, but she'd teach him to sew. By the time he went to ask his other grandmother, she had gotten a call from the first one reinforcing the deal. So Tim Totten learned to sew, and decades later, the funeral business is all the better for...
Reflecting on Robin Williams Death and What Dreams May Come
There's no official news yet about funeral plans for entertainer Robin Williams, who died on Monday, August 11. The 63-year-old apparently committed suicide by hanging himself. The Daily Mirror in the U.K reports he will be laid to rest in the San Francisco area in a very small, private family funeral and The Metro and other news outlets report the Westboro Baptist Church will try to picket the funeral. Just as with the worldwide reaction to...
Another Stylin’ Hearse at the NFDMA Convention
At the expo at National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association (NFDMA) convention in Dallas, I saw some amazing funeral vehicles on display. Check out this video with Robert P. Durant, Your Funeral Coach and Limousine Dealer. He points out the finer aspects of the Heritage Coach Company hearse he's displaying at this funeral director expo. The vehicle includes extra-wide capacity, an airplane hinge back door, and a smoking sound system!...
ABQ Death Cafe Report
The Albuquerque Death Cafe meeting on Saturday, August 9 drew 11 people to join in mortality discussions with host Gail Rubin, CT. Our Death Cafe mascot Lola sported a new look at his event. The new location at the Swiss Alps Bakery Cafe was a bit noisy inside, but after we moved out on the shaded patio, it was easy to hear everyone. All the food and drink they serve is delicious! We started out discussing "donating your body to science," the...
National News on Cemetery Costs and Aid-in-Dying
There were two stories on national news outlets this morning, one about cemetery costs on the TODAY Show and NPR's Morning Edition did a piece about physician aid-in-dying in Germany. The NPR story, "When and How to Die: Germany Debates Whose Choice It Is," focuses on a young man with MS. There are a number of things he needs help doing, and when he becomes too disabled to get out of bed, he plans to drink a cocktail of barbiturates and drift...
Brand New Old Looking Stylish Hearse
Just saw this amazing old-timey-looking hearse at the National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association annual meeting in Dallas. I spoke here today and got to look around the expo for a few hours. Richard Neal, President of Rosewood Classic Coach, gives a detailed tour of this beautiful automobile, designed with functionality for the funeral director as well as eye-catching flair for the consumer. Even though this looks like an old classic...
News and Notes: Mortality Salience
Just returned from Colorado and attending the Purposeful Planning Institute's Rendezvous, a remarkable two days of collaborative dialogue, keynotes, and breakout sessions with a host of professionals exploring best practices for legacy families and families in business. I presented “Estate Planning, Hollywood Style," a collection of mostly comedy film clips that illustrated issues related to wills: if you die without a will, or haven't updated...
“Time Flies” Note Cards Make Lasting Impressions
Forget email – that’s so passé. If you are mourning, sending a physical thank you card to those who helped you is a healing activity – if you already have the tools on hand: the cards, the stamps and the mailing addresses for the people who helped you. In business, an elegant hand-written card also makes a positive, lasting impression after a business meeting, media interview, or networking event. To really make your mark, go old school with a...
Have a Plan B for Body Donation
Over the weekend, the local NBC-TV news affiliate ran a story about Chuck Pagliarulo, a man whose dying wish to donate his body to science was denied. It reinforces the importance of having a "Plan B" if your first plan is to donate to a medical school. After receiving his diagnosis last year, Chuck had planned to donate his cancer-ridden body to the University of New Mexico Medical School for students to study. Both he and his wife Terese...