Over the course of 16 episodes of Mortality Movies, I’ve had the pleasure of exploring how Hollywood portrays death, dying, grief, funerals, and estate planning. Along with my wonderful panel of guest experts, we’ve discovered that movies can open doors to conversations people might otherwise avoid.
And sometimes, those doors open with a good laugh!
The cameras may have stopped rolling for now, but the conversations about death, grief, funerals, and living fully are just getting started!
Lights, Camera, Mortality!
I created the Mortality Movies television series with a simple premise: Movies and television programs provide entertaining, accessible ways to explore subjects that many people find difficult to discuss.
After all, talking about death doesn’t make you dead. But avoiding the conversation can make life considerably more complicated for the people you leave behind.
We opened the series with cultural landmarks such as The Seventh Seal, Harold and Maude, and Defending Your Life. From there, our discussions ranged across a remarkable variety of subjects.
Woody Allen’s existential anxieties provided opportunities to laugh about our inevitable demise. Wit, Critical Care, and The Descendants illustrated difficult medical decisions. The Loved One and The Big Lebowski revealed the sometimes absurd realities of funeral shopping.
And who could forget those cinematic Viking funerals, complete with flaming arrows? Hollywood certainly knows how to make a memorable send-off, even when historical accuracy takes a back seat.
Other episodes examined the many faces of grief, the value of cremation ceremonies, personalized funerals, the work of funeral directors, and the importance of getting estate-planning documents in order.
Our final two episodes explored what happens when wills, investments, business succession plans, and executors become part of the family drama.
One recurring lesson emerged: It’s much better to discuss these issues before a crisis than to leave loved ones guessing afterward.
Meet the Experts Behind the Conversations
One of the greatest pleasures of producing Mortality Movies has been working with knowledgeable professionals who bring different perspectives to the movie clips.
Death doula Danielle Slupesky and death educator Jane Westbrook helped explore the cultural, emotional, and practical aspects of mortality.
Grief coach and death doula Genna Reeves, PhD, contributed insights into the many ways people experience and process grief.
Licensed Spiritual Counselor Kelly Saindon joined our discussions about funeral personalization, body preparation, and the important work funeral directors perform.
For our two estate-planning episodes, Justin Welch of RBC Wealth Management and death doula Brooke Nutting, a former CPA, examined the financial and legal complications that can arise after a death.
All of these experts are based in the Albuquerque area, and I’m grateful for the time, knowledge, and good humor they brought to the series.
Together, we’ve demonstrated that a short movie scene can lead to a surprisingly rich conversation.
And sometimes, the most useful question is simply, “What would you want?”
Why I Love Using Movies to Start Conversations
I’ve spent years encouraging people to talk about mortality before they’re faced with a crisis. One thing I’ve learned is that movies make these conversations much easier.
A film gives us something to talk about without requiring anyone to reveal personal experiences right away.
Instead of asking a family member, “What kind of funeral do you want?” you might begin with, “Did you see what happened in The Kominsky Method? Would you ever want a funeral like that?”
That’s a much easier opening.
Movies also allow us to explore different perspectives. One viewer might identify with the grieving spouse, another with the adult child, and another with the funeral director trying to keep everyone happy.
There isn’t always one right answer.
The important thing is getting the conversation started.
Film clips can also make complex concepts more memorable. Watching a character struggle with an advance directive, an unexpected death, or a difficult inheritance can make an abstract subject feel immediate and understandable.
And when humor enters the picture, even the darkest subjects can become more approachable.
The Next Chapter: Mortality Movies Continues!
Although we’ve completed 16 television episodes so far, I’m not putting Mortality Movies to rest.
I’m expanding the conversation!
Going forward, my weekly Mortality Movies columns on Substack and the Family Plot Blog at AGoodGoodbye.com will alternate among three approaches:
Mortality Movie Spotlights: I’ll take a closer look at individual films and television programs, examining their stories, mortality themes, and lessons for living fully and planning ahead.
Movies by Theme: We’ll compare several films that explore subjects such as hidden grief, unusual funeral wishes, medical decisions, afterlife fantasies, or the humor that helps us cope with death.
Mortality Movie Nights: I’ll offer practical guides for turning a movie screening into a meaningful conversation, complete with discussion questions and ideas for families, friends, and community groups.
You can expect familiar favorites, overlooked gems, and newer films that offer fresh perspectives on our 100% mortality rate.
Many selections will come from my latest book, 98.6 Mortality Movies to See Before You Die: Remarkable Films and TV Shows to Discuss Death and Plan Ahead. It features 142 films and television programs, with themes and discussion questions to help readers explore the issues raised onscreen.
I’ll also be looking at new releases and taking suggestions from readers.
After all, Hollywood keeps making movies about death. It’s one subject that’s never going out of style!
What Mortality Movies Would You Like to Explore?
Perhaps there’s a movie that helped you understand grief after a loss.
Maybe a funeral scene made you laugh out loud or inspired you to think about your own final arrangements.
Or perhaps you’ve watched a film and wondered, “Could that really happen?”
Those are exactly the kinds of questions I love to explore.
I’d like to hear from you! What are your favorite films, television programs, or mortality-related topics you’d like me to cover in future columns?
My goal isn’t to make everyone comfortable with death overnight. It’s to make conversations about mortality a little easier, more informative, and occasionally downright entertaining.
Because the more we talk about death, the better we can prepare for it, and the more fully we can appreciate life.
What’s your favorite movie that deals with death, grief, funerals, or the afterlife? Share your suggestions in the comments. Your favorite might inspire a future column!
Want Mortality Movies Without YouTube?
Become a paid Substack subscriber to Mortality Movies with The Doyenne of Death® and get access to all 16 complete, 30-minute television episodes, with the film clips included!
No need to jump back and forth from the TV show to clips on YouTube. Paid subscribers can enjoy the full programs, including scenes that may be blocked from viewing on YouTube.
Watch, laugh, learn, and discover how movies can help us prepare for life’s inevitable finale.
Subscribe at gailrubin.substack.com.
And remember my favorite saying:
“Talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, and talking about funerals won’t make you dead.”