The Family Plot Blog
Funeral Elements – Four Rs for A Good Goodbye
“Don’t have a funeral for me when I’m gone.” People say this, not realizing while the memorial service is about them, it’s not really for them. Funerals are for those still living who grieve the loss of someone they love. Funeral and memorial service rituals help recognize this transition, socially acknowledge the death, and help start processing grief to move toward healing. Dr. William G. Hoy, a grief counselor and death educator, explained,...
Videos Make End-of-Life Choices Less Abstract
CBS News recently ran a story about videos that detail end-of-life treatment options and give patients real-world examples to better inform their choices. These videos provide an eye-opening look at what really happens when your medical directives say "Do everything in your power to save me." 25 percent of all Medicare spending, more than 100 billion dollars, is spent in the last year of life. Every year, patients are getting expensive,...
Psalms for Funerals: The 46th
Continuing the psalms for funerals series with Psalm 46. This psalm is probably most famous for the phrase, "Be still, and know that I am God." In the chaos and confusion following a death in the family, Psalm 46 provides the reassurance that God, as the first line says, "is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." A Psalm of David. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear,...
Psalms for Funerals: The 121st
Continuing the psalms for funerals series with Psalm 121. (Note - we're not going in numerical order.) If you live in an area with big hills or mountains that catch your attention on a daily basis, consider Psalm 121. This psalm can give you a regular dose of inspiration and comfort. This is my own updating of the King James version, to make references to God gender neutral. After all, are not both men and women made in the image of God? Psalm...
Psalms for Funerals: The 23rd
Psalms recited at funerals help comfort the living. This Memorial Day weekend, I'm starting a series on psalms for funerals, starting with probably the most popular psalm, the 23rd. Both Jewish and Christian funerals utilize the 23rd Psalm. It affirms that though we face trials in life, with God's support we move through the dark times and can achieve wholeness and fulfillment. Newer translations of this psalm have appeared in the last few...
Two Weddings and a Funeral: Family Meltdowns
Weddings plus funerals equal family stress. Whether the event is happy or sad, planned for months or just days, you can bet someone will melt down. July 23,1983, my first wedding took place on a hot, muggy evening in the garden of an elegant mansion. My father proudly escorted me down the steps. I wore my aunt’s white wedding dress, which had an antebellum hoop skirt that took up a lot of space. A full moon rose in the east as my groom Bob and...
Take Cemetery Photos for Memorial Day Images
With Memorial Day coming up this weekend, remember that amateur and professional photographers can compete to win in the Fan-tastic Photo Contest by Funeralwise.com. The Grand Prize is $500. Get out there and take your best shot! More details: Funeralwise.com invites photographers across the U.S. to participate in its first annual Memorial Day Photo Contest. This photography contest will recognize and reward photographers whose images convey...
Caregivers Need Help Without Having to Ask
Today's Dear Abby column included a letter from a gentleman who's a caregiver for his wife. Since I'm going to be on the "Coping with Caregiving" online radio show today, this letter is timely. DEAR ABBY: My wife has dementia. Our children don't live close by, so I'm her only caregiver. One afternoon a week I hire someone to stay with her so I can grocery shop, do banking and run necessary errands. Neighbors and friends over the years have...
The Living Wake Looks Promising
Just found out about a new film called "The Living Wake." It looks like an intriguing take on living and dying from the trailer. I'm a big fan of the idea of a memorial service while you're still alive to share thoughts and feelings with your family. Here's the official description of the movie: “The Living Wake” is a dark comedy set in a timeless storybook universe. Self-proclaimed artist and genius, K. Roth Binew, has one day to live. He has...
Podcast Link to Public Radio Interview
Yesterday's interview on HearSay with Cathy Lewis went great! We talked about a whole range of funeral planning issues, from burial and caskets to old rituals and new trends. CLICK HERE to listen to the interview or download the podcast.
Radio Interview on WHRV-FM
From noon to 1:00 p.m. ET (10:00 a.m. MT) today, I'll be with Cathy Lewis live in her studio to talk about funeral planning for those who don’t plan to die and the "funny" in funeral. We'll be joined by Robert Webster, a licensed embalmer, funeral director, and author of "Does This Mean You’ll See Me Naked?" The show is titled "That's a Nice Casket You've Got There." HearSay with Cathy Lewis is an award-winning public affairs radio call-in...
God Moves Mountains
Happy Sunday morning! Saw this sign at the historic Lynnhaven United Methodist Church in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Whatever your religion (or even if you embrace no religion at all), it's a good thought for today, and all week long. Sometimes it seems that shovel moves soooo slow. And then other times, it happens really fast!
Burial or Cremation? Some Thoughts
Visited an old church graveyard in Virginia Beach this morning. There among graves of people born during the Civil War was a new development - a cremated remains niche wall. Something to think about, and talk about, with your family. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvCHIjnylAs Did I say "The Funeral Plot Blog"? Oops! Please visit the website for A Good Goodbye for more information!
Famous Dead Americans in New Mexico
This week's Alibi features the theme "7 Wonders of New Mexico." Of course, I'm partial to the story "7 Grave Wonders: Rest in Peace Famous Americans." Among those they recognize: Billy the Kid: Nov. 23, 1859-July 14, 1881 Legends about this outlaw will go on forever, but we do know that he was shot to death at age 21. A cage has been placed around Billy the Kid’s entire grave because thieves have attempted to steal his tombstone multiple times....
Expert Comments on Conversation Starting
Resistance to starting funeral planning conversations can come from members of both older and younger generations. Adult children will frequently say things like "Don't be morbid" when a parent wants to talk about putting their affairs in order. Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, MDiv, is a Professor of Gerontology at the Graduate School of The College of New Rochelle and Senior Consultant to the Hospice Foundation of America (HFA). I've met him at the...
Texting for Seniors
Maybe you saw these making the rounds on email... A new guide on texting abbreviations, specially for seniors! ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friends Funeral BTW - Bring the Wheelchair BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth CBM - Covered by Medicare CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center DWI - Driving While Incontinent FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers FWIW - Forgot Where I Was FYI - Found Your Insulin GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low GHA - Got...
Muslim Burial At Sea Laws
Muslim burial and background on Islamic laws on burial at sea from Leor Halevi, an associate professor of history at Vanderbilt University, ran in the New York Times today. Halevi is the author of Muhammad's Grave: Death Rites and the Making of Islamic Society. Here's what he had to say on the religion's rituals in the Week in Review section: AFTER Osama bin Laden’s corpse was slipped into the North Arabian Sea, the White House’s chief...
Memorial Day Photo Contest by Funeralwise.com
Funeralwise.com invites photographers across the U.S. to participate in its first annual Memorial Day Photo Contest. This photography contest will recognize and reward photographers whose images convey the meaning and emotion associated with Memorial Day in cemeteries across the United States. The Funeralwise.com Fan-tastic Photo Contest offers a $500 Grand Prize. Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, unofficially started during the...
13 Things the Funeral Director Won’t Tell You
Great funeral planning information from Joshua Slocum, executive director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance (www.Funerals.org), and funeral directors in Illinois, New Jersey, Tennessee, and Washington. You probably won't hear funeral directors telling you: 1. Go ahead and plan your funeral, but think twice before paying in advance. You risk losing everything if the funeral home goes out of business. Instead, keep your money in a pay-on-death...
Ask Your Mom These Questions
Mother's Day is this Sunday, May 8. How well do you know your mother, if she's still alive? Here are five great questions to ask her this weekend, to help open the lines of communication. I received this thought-provoking note from Mary Cantando, who sends out Woman's Advantage Tip of the Week. She granted permission to run this on The Family Plot Blog. Understand Your Mother This Sunday will be the second Mother's Day since the death of my...
Searching for the Cremated Remains of Jerry Honeycutt
Ever have the cremated remains of a loved one disappear? In Friday's Albuquerque Journal, UpFront columnist Joline Gutierrez Krueger wrote this story, an appeal to help this family find the missing ashes of a man: a son, a father, a veteran. Joline gave me permission to run her article, in the hopes of spreading the search and finding the ashes of Jerry Honeycutt. Can you help? Jerry Honeycutt died a painful death, his last anguished moments...