The Family Plot Blog
A Note from The Universe
Every weekday, I get a "Note from The Universe" in my email. I loved today's message and wanted to share it with you. The top 10 things dead people want to tell living people, Gail, are: 1. They're not dead. 2. They're sorry for any pain they caused. 3. There's no such thing as a devil or hell. 4. They were ready to go when they went. 5. You're not ready. 6. They finally understand what they were missing. 7. Nothing can prepare you for the...
Ideas for Children at Funerals
Dear Abby recently ran a column about ways to help children grieve and address the dearly departed at a funeral. As so often happens, her readers had some very good ideas. DEAR ABBY: "Saddened in New Jersey" (Oct. 2) complained that her sister's 4-year-old daughter put stickers on the hands and face of her deceased grandmother during her wake. Perhaps the child's mother didn't anticipate her daughter's actions. Children need to grieve, too....
Lucky Bingo Urn and Ashes
News out of Rochester, New Hampshire: Diane Bozzi regularly took the ashes of her mother to Bingo games for good luck. Then she had a run of bad luck - the urn containing her good luck ashes was stolen out of her van last week. But, oh happy day! - the urn has been returned. Diane Bozzi and her mother loved playing Bingo together. Before her mother died in 2002, Bozzi promised her mother to take some of her ashes with her to play. Her mother...
Funerals in Commercials
Collected a few fun funeral-themed commercials on YouTube for your amusement today! When I played this classic Beetle commercial, my husband (who can quote movie and TV show lines by heart) started saying the lines. http://youtu.be/fCHWhIHIuhY Love this Cell Phone Karma commercial from Kyocera: http://youtu.be/qnqhQMUeMkQ The Golden Gate Funeral Home did this interesting take on the deceased visiting his own funeral: http://youtu.be/TojWqx1G9EY...
The Social Security Death Benefit
Social Security provides the grand sum of $255.00, paid either to the funeral home or next of kin, when someone dies. Why $255? That was what a funeral cost in 1937 when Social Security first started. The benefit has never been raised over more than 70 years. At a recent book event, a man told me that he was going to let the funeral home have the $255 and leave them to figure out what to do with his lifeless carcass. He really didn't care. At...
Good Tips on Funeral Planning
You can find tons of great funeral planning information in this article by Tom Murphy of the Associated Press.
The Origin of Star Trek’s Live Long and Prosper Greeting
Did you know that Star Trek's Vulcan "Live long and prosper" greeting with the distinctive upraised hand sign comes from Jewish tradition? Leonard Nimoy, who played Mr. Spock on the original TV series, grew up attending an Orthodox synagogue. In these YouTube videos of interviews with him and talks he has given, he describes how the saying and the hand gesture came onto the set of Star Trek. He opens this talk with the question, "Is there...
Hospice, Medicare and Politics
Here's part of an interesting story in the Los Angeles Times about hospice, living and dying, and end-of-life issues. The article, titled "Not ready to die, but prepared," by Steve Lopez, provides an insightful look at palliative care and implications for Medicare costs as the population ages. It opens with a look into the life of a cancer patient who is on hospice care through Kaiser's healthcare system. But here's the part about satisfaction...
Funeral Films: The Six Wives of Henry Lefay
By Gail Rubin The Six Wives of Henry Lefay (2009) is a comedic cautionary tale for those who don’t make funeral plans, or for those who make plans but get married way too many times. One of the tag lines is: He loves women - Lots of women. As a funny funeral film, it’s a great tool to start funeral planning conversations. It’s also a great way for estate planning attorneys to help their clients get serious about their wills, trusts and other...
Bodily Functions That Continue After Death
Check out this "fun" listing of ten bodily functions that continue after death, first posted at the website, i09.com. 10 Bodily Functions That Continue After Death Death doesn't need to stop you from doing all the things you enjoy, as long as the things you enjoy are pretty basic. Certain bodily functions continue for minutes, hours, days, and even weeks after death. You will not believe the kind of things a dead body will do with its...
Regina Leader Post Mentions A Good Goodbye!
Lifestyle editor Irene Seiberling with The Regina Leader Post, based in Regina, Saskatchewan (way up north in Canada), just posted this in her online column, Anything and Everything: Book Helps People Plan Their Own End-of-Life Event Just as talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, talking about funerals won’t make you dead, says Gail Rubin, author of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die (Light Tree Press). Rubin...
Funeral Films: The Loved One
I'm starting a series of periodic articles about movies, mostly comedies, that I call "funeral films." These films have elements related to funerals that can be instructive and helpful for starting a conversation about funeral planning. This first film, The Loved One, is all about the funeral industry. Funeral Films: The Loved One By Gail Rubin The Loved One satirizes the funeral business, including pet funerals, as well as the movie industry...
Keep the Spirit of Gratitude
http://youtu.be/gXDMoiEkyuQ This TED video featuring cinematographer Louie Schwartzberg gives us a number of reminders to live for today. Within this wonderful meditation on reasons to be grateful and thankful, there is this wonderful quote from an old man (not identified): "Do you think this is just another day in your life? It's not just another day. It's the one day that is given to you. Today. It's given to you. It's a gift. It's the only...
Engage With Grace This Thanksgiving
As the family gathers together this Thanksgiving weekend, it's an ideal time to start a conversation on end-of-life wishes, don't you think? Actually, you probably haven't thought about it. You just want to get through the turkey feast, the football games, the Black Friday shopping, and hanging out with your family without getting too deep. Having an in-depth conversation about how you or your loved ones want to be treated in a medical...
Video of Radio Interview on WJOB
http://youtu.be/zbOq0YdGzeE Did an interview on WJOB-AM on Party Line 219 with host Steven "The Preacher" Glover. Several years earlier, he had been through a near death experience, which we discussed but that isn't in this YouTube video.
Mushroom Burial Suit
Here's a great TED video with Jae Rhim Lee speaking about her Mushroom Burial Suit, an eco-friendly way to return to the earth with the help of spores that speed decomposition. Brilliant idea for those interested in green burial.
2011 Best of Show Award for A Good Goodbye
A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die by Gail Rubin just won the 2011 Best of Show Award for the New Mexico Book Awards. The book also won in the Family Issues category and was a finalist in four other categories. There were 37 award categories overall. "It was such a thrill to be recognized as Best of Show in a room full of New Mexico literary luminaries such as Max Evans, Rudolfo Anaya, Anne Hillerman, and so many...
Crazy Things to Do With Ashes
Who knew you could do all these cool things with cremated remains?
Boomers: Advance Directives Not Just for the Elderly
Boomers who don't have advance directives to guide medical decision-making are asking for trouble. This is not just about end-of-life planning issues. Changes happen in the blink of an eye. An Associated Press-LifeGoesStrong.com poll found that 64 percent of boomers — those born between 1946 and 1964 — say they don’t have a health care proxy or living will. Those documents would guide medical decisions should a patient be unable to communicate...
Thought for the Day
While attending services for the Jewish high holiday Yom Kippur, my husband jotted down this meditation out of the prayer book. It's worth pondering any day of the year. "When we are dead, and people weep for us and grieve, let it be because we touched their lives with beauty and simplicity. Let it not be said that life was good to us, but rather, that we were good to life." -- Jacob P. Rudin Amen!
Video Review: Consider the Conversation
http://youtu.be/dHzho42Osvk Consider the Conversation: a documentary on a taboo subject presents an insightful look at the American struggle with communication about and preparation for end-of-life issues. This film provides a warm way to open the door to those conversations, with interviews featuring leaders in hospice care, religious leaders, medical professionals, and people who faced the ends of their lives on their own terms. The...