The Family Plot Blog
Funny and Touching Funeral Speech
This video shows how eulogies at funerals can be both funny and touching. The eulogy and funeral provides a time and a place to say things in public that can help the family heal after their loss. The video was created by filmmaker Yasmin Ahmad (1958-2009). http://youtu.be/hbr0BojPtQQ Here's a video about Yasmin Ahmad's life and contributions to film making and reporting on social issues in Malaysia. Why did she die so young? She suffered a...
Make Yourself Comfortable
Funeral planning doesn’t have to be painful, especially if done before there’s a death in the family. So many folks are reluctant to accept their own mortality and reluctant to make these preparations, but it makes such a big difference when done in advance. So, in a rather different “things to do before you die” list, here are three things you should consider while you’re still in a position to do so: 1. Make yourself comfortable Nobody wants...
My Breast Cancer Story
Recently, I was a model in a fashion show with five other women. We're all breast cancer survivors. We got to wear swanky clothes from Chico's, get makeup done by Mary Kay Cosmetics, and take a spin on the catwalk. After showing off two outfits, each model got to tell her individual experience with breast cancer and survival. Our group ranged from one year done with treatment to a number of years in the past, with a wide range of different...
Planning That Final Party
A great piece about funeral planning trends appeared in the Wall Street Journal a while ago. It offers great insights about making the party no one wants to plan a true reflection of a life. Planning That Final Party by Kathleen A. Hughes When my friend Margaret Goldsmith, a stylish Los Angeles real-estate agent, was battling ovarian cancer, she spent hours on the phone with her sister, Elizabeth, planning the details of her own memorial...
Reacting to News of a Death
Debra Greene, Ph.D., recently sent me this letter about her mother's death. Her mom had done her funeral planning arrangements, and still, the news is such a shock. Debra, an Energy Health Specialist practicing Mind-Body Medicine, has some good insights on processing grief. Debra said I could share her story on the blog. She is a big fan of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die. Let's Talk About Death and the...
FTC Undercover: 23% of Funeral Homes Break the Law
The Federal Trade Commission has The Funeral Rule to help protect consumers when they shop for funeral goods and services. The FTC conducts undercover inspections of funeral homes to check up on compliance with the rules. In 2011, 23 of 102 funeral homes were out of compliance. I'm disappointed. So many of the funeral directors I know are honest, caring, and do the right thing. While 77% may be following the rules, 23% is far too many falling...
Sharon Rosen and ShivaConnect.com
http://youtu.be/KiS5jG7n-D8 The Jewish tradition of “sitting shiva,” where a family retreats to their home after a funeral to receive the support of their community for up to seven days, can be a source of confusion. There are so many traditional observances and rituals – covering mirrors, sitting low to the ground, prayers, food, what to do and not do, and on and on. Sharon Rosen, founder of the registry website ShivaConnect.com, received a...
Earth Day and Green Burial
Earth Day is Sunday, April 22. You can go green and save money while saving the planet with your final arrangements! Did you know these interesting facts about green burial, traditional funerals and cremation? Resource Usage Every year, traditional funerals utilize enough metal to build a Golden Gate Bridge and enough concrete to build a two-lane highway from New York to Detroit -- resources simply buried in the ground, every single year. This...
Recommended Reading for Healthcare Decisions Day
Studies indicate 73% of Americans would prefer to die at home, but up to 50% die in hospital settings. It takes courage and determination to carry out a loved one’s wishes for end-of-life care. Knowing what those wishes are and discussing them is the first step. Since today is National Healthcare Decisions Day, it's a good day to look at books with great information about end-of-life issues that can help start advance directive conversations....
Happy National Healthcare Decisions Day
Thinking about what would be important to you in a medical crisis and making your wishes known to loved ones is what National Healthcare Decisions Day is all about - regardless of age or health status. Advance directives are best dictated before a family faces an end-of-life situation. Today, April 16, is National Healthcare Decisions Day. The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO) stresses the importance of patients and...
How the NY Times Picks News Obituaries
In today's New York Times, The Public Editor column, Arthur S. Brisbane wrote about how they pick the people who get news obituaries in the paper. Titled "Someone Dies. But That Is Only the Beginning." the story provides an interesting glimpse behind the scenes at the most coveted news obituary placement on the planet. Here's a small snippet: Human worth is not truly the coin of the obituary realm. What is, then? That is what Stuart Friedland,...
A Snappy Obituary
I love the attitude exuded in this obituary. Makes me want to have known this guy. Many thanks to Stephanie West Allen for alerting me to this wonderful obituary that appeared in yesterday's Denver Post. If you like this obit, leave a nice message for his family through the Visit Guest Book link. Michael "Flathead" Blanchard Blanchard, Michael "Flathead" 1944 ~ 2012 A Celebration of the life of Michael "Flathead" Blanchard will be held on April...
WGVC-AM Interview Today
The radio program Health, Wealth and Happiness with host Gary Pozsik today interviews Gail Rubin, author of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die and The Family Plot Blog. Tune in today at 1:00 p.m. ET/noon CT/11:00 a.m. MT/10:00 a.m. PT online at www.wgvc.net and click on the "Listen Live" button. If you are in the Columbia, SC area, WGVC is located at AM 620 on the radio dial. The conversation will last about 30...
Jewish Burial and Resurrection
During a radio interview on WIBC in Indianapolis last week on Maundy Thursday, the day that Jesus died on the cross, the host Denny Smith and Gail Rubin discussed the ritual cleansing and dressing of the body that precedes a traditional Jewish burial. He was interested in knowing about the steps taken by the Chevrah Kaddisha, the "holy friends" who volunteer to wash and dress the body in the ritual fashion. We talked about the first cleaning,...
Funeral Planning Books
When it comes to end-of-life and funeral planning issues, what books do you turn to? I’ve got a bunch of great resources on my bookshelf. Here are a few recommendations for your consideration, with direct links to Amazon: Jane Brody, weekly personal health columnist for The New York Times, has written prolifically on living a healthy lifestyle. As she so practically notes in the preface to her book, “…even the healthiest of lives eventually...
Mary Adams Memorial Service
Mary Adams was my next-door neighbor for 20 years. She died at home at the age of 91, on a sunny Thursday morning, March 8, 2012. Six months earlier in September, she asked me to come over and meet with her and her son Michael to talk about how we would create her life celebration after she died. What a gift this was. We talked about what she wanted done with her body (cremation - still figuring out what to do with the remains). We talked about...
Services Behind-the-Scenes at ICCFA
In the funeral industry, there are a number of companies that offer funeral services you may not know about. Funeral homes and cemeteries need to market themselves, help families ship bodies internationally, and know how to better serve their customers. And sometimes, you just need a little bling when you're in Las Vegas. These are the last of the YouTube videos recorded at the 2012 International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association...
Pet Urn Innovation
At the 2012 ICCFA convention and expo, there was an entire subset of products and services for pets and their loss: urns for cremated remains, memorials, and disposition methods.
Expiration Date Prompts Thoughtful Conversations
"Expiration Date" is a play that explores end-of-life issues with both humor and tears. The play is being presented in Minneapolis, and the CityPages publication there just did a Q&A with Candy Simmons, the playwright and performer. Here are a few paragraphs from the story by Ed Huyck: 'Expiration Date' looks at end of life issues In Expiration Date, playwright and performer Candy Simmons explores terminal illness, a topic that, as she puts...
Oakland Cemetery Photos
Last night's field trip to historic Oakland Cemetery in Atlanta was an eye-opening experience. Here are some photos of outstanding stone monuments. Loved this Egyptian-type arch, erected by the Kontz family. A number of the graves were from the mid-1800s and Victorian symbolism abounded. This headstone for a 22-month old child has a fallen dove and a very short tree trunk. The trunk symbolizes a life cut short. The shorter the truck, the...
Insight Institute and Certified Celebrants at ICCFA
Glenda Stansbury with the Insight Institute talks about Certified Celebrants and how they help funeral homes provide emotionally healing, good goodbye services for grieving families. The ICCFA has been a big supporter of bringing the services of Certified Celebrants to funeral homes. Listen to what Glenda has to say. Some info about Celebrants follows. Are you “spiritual but not religious”?...