The Family Plot Blog
News and Notes: Seeking Light in Dark Times
Holiday greetings! Here at the darkest time of the year, we seek illumination and cheer in twinkling lights, candles and the warmth of a fire in the hearth. I've always resonated with the Biblical image of the burning bush, when the Divine speaks to us through flaming shrubbery. (Monty Python fans, did you hear the cry?). Death can be the beginning of a journey into a dark time for the living. It doesn't have to be so dark or prolonged if we...
The Ethicist on a Cremation Dilemma
The Ethicist column in the New York Times Magazine tackled a question about carrying out a relative's wish to be cremated when the rest of the family prefers burial to preserve green space. A sister is insistent that her siblings carry out her wishes. The author wants to know if the siblings have an ethical obligation to carry out her wishes although they disagree. Check out the question and The Ethicist's answer, and read my solution to the...
Event: Jan. 3 Albuquerque Death Cafe
The next Albuquerque Death Cafe will be held on Saturday, January 3, 2015 from 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. at Gail Rubin’s home. At the Death Cafe, people come together in a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss death and end-of-life issues, drink tea (or your favorite beverage) and eat delicious cake or cookies. If you want to attend, send an email to Gail [at] AGoodGoodbye.com to RSVP for the address and directions. Or join the...
Mortality Minute: Cremation Considerations
Hi, I’m Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, with today’s Mortality Minute. Are you considering cremation? You're not alone. The U.S. national cremation rate averages 42 percent and it's climbing. The Cremation Association of North America predicts the national average will exceed 50 percent by 2017. Does your family know if you want cremation? Now, some states allow cremation self-authorization, but you have to be alive to be able to do it...
Comparing Cornea and Organ Donation
Yesterday, my dad had a cornea transplant. Today, we went back to the renowned Bascom Palmer Eye Institute for his follow-up appointment. While we were waiting for his surgeon to check out the success of the operation, I asked Dr. Palioura, a fellow at the Institute, about some of the details about cornea transplants and where those corneas come from. She told me all corneas are "harvested" -- that is, taken out of -- cadavers within seven days...
Mortality Minute: The Funeral Rule
Hi, I'm Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, with today's Mortality Minute. As a funeral consumer, you have specific rights when buying goods and services from a funeral home. The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule, issued in 1984, gives you these rights, such as: The funeral home has to provide a written list of itemized prices upon request, in person or over the phone. You have the right to choose only those goods and services you want,...
FRENCH Funerals Pioneers Improvements with Passare
Here in Albuquerque, FRENCH Funerals-Cremations leads the way in ground-breaking improvements in the funeral business. When you add in their involvement with Passare, their pioneering influence extends far beyond New Mexico. Using Passare's online Collaboration Center, FRENCH's funeral directors have been able to significantly shrink the amount of time families spend on planning at the funeral home and reduce the stress level for families who...
Jewish Funeral Tradition Presentations on Video
Many Jews and their interfaith partners don’t know what to do when a death in the family occurs. It doesn't have to be that way. These YouTube videos of talks I've given over the past year explain many Jewish traditions (and superstitions) regarding death, funerals, burial, and mourning. My most recent talk, "Jewish Funeral Traditions on Film," took place November 18, 2014, in Las Vegas, Nevada. The event was held by the Jewish Community Center...
Event: Jan. 28 Estate Planning: Hollywood Myth vs. Fact
The way the movies portray it, wills are supposed to cover funeral plans in addition to the distribution of assets. Unfortunately, only about one-third of adults actually undertake end-of-life planning: wills and trusts, health care directives and funeral arrangements. This can set a family up for emotional and financial disaster. Family members may die before doing any estate planning. Even with a will, funeral plans can go awry. How do you...
News and Notes: Giving Thanks and Talking to Family
The Thanksgiving rush is on, so I'll keep this short. If you are headed to a gathering of several generations in your family, consider using this face time to talk about things that really matter. Get to know the family stories and the lessons learned from life experiences. Appreciate the time you have today with everyone, as tomorrow is not promised. And let's be thankful for the many blessings in our lives. I am thankful for you being in my...
Talking Turkey on End-of-Life Issues at Thanksgiving
As families gather this week to celebrate Thanksgiving, with multiple generations together under one roof, the holidays provide an opportune time to discuss important end-of-life issues: advance medical directives, wills and estate planning, and funeral plans. Here are a number of sources that can help get the conversation started - if not over the turkey, than perhaps the pumpkin pie. Okay, maybe wait until Black Friday - that's an...
A Good Goodbye Radio: Charles Picasso CEO of Passare
Passare, Inc. is a new company (established in 2012) designed to make end-of-life planning and preparation easier for consumers and to build bridges for independent funeral home service providers to reach those consumers. For consumers, Passare offers information and tools to help guide people through life's final passage. At the company's website, Passare.com, you can find how-to guides on estate planning and writing a will, preparing for...
Talking About Tomorrow’s Las Vegas Talk
Tomorrow night is the big splash in Vegas! I'll be presenting “Jewish Funeral Traditions on Film” this Tuesday, November 18 from 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at the Nathan Adelson Hospice – Walter L. Schwartz Center for Compassionate Care, 4131 Swenson Street, Las Vegas, NV 89119. Last week, I was interviewed by Ira Sternberg for his weekly 30-minute program "Talk About Las Vegas with Ira" on KUNV-FM. Each week, Ira talks with the celebrities,...
Event: Nov. 23 Albuquerque Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Sunday, November 23, 11:00 a.m.: Gail Rubin presents “End-of-Life Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die” at the Albuquerque Unitarian Universalist Fellowship at the Albuquerque Center for Peace & Justice, 202 Harvard SE at Silver, Albuquerque. This is a 40-minute presentation with the opportunity to ask questions and get answers. Gail's upbeat presentation covers why people tend to avoid talking about end-of-life planning, why it's a...
Funeral Home Marketing with a Sense of Humor
Can a traditional family funeral home in a Bible Belt conservative community actually market its services with humor? Not only is it possible, it can be wildly successful. Brad Speaks, President and CEO of Speaks Family Legacy Chapels in Independence, Missouri, a suburb of Kansas City, presented "Breathing Life into Funeral Home Marketing with Facebook, TV and a Sense of Humor" at the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) 2014...
Event: Nov. 25 OASIS Austin Book Club Meeting
The Austin Book Club meets on the fourth Tuesday of each month. On November 25, Gail Rubin, CT, author of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die, will be on hand to discuss the book and answer questions. Newcomers are more than welcome! The meeting will take place 1:30 to 3:00 p.m. at the Albuquerque OASIS offices, 3301 Menaul Blvd. NE, Suite 18. Call 505-884-4529 with questions.
Short Talk on Jews and Cremation
This photo of a billboard appeared on my Facebook feed recently. It reads, "Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body." A lot of people want to get a smoking hot body these days. The national cremation rate in America keeps creeping upward in the 40% plus range. The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) projects the U.S. will reach a national 50% average by 2015. Traditionally, Catholics and Jews resisted cremation,...
Event: Nov. 19 Hospice Conference Presentation
Gail Rubin, CT, presents "Laughing in the Face of Death" at the California Hospice and Palliative Care Association (CHAPCA) conference on Wednesday, November 19, 2014 8:00 a.m. to 9:30 a.m. at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada. Laughter breaks tension over serious topics such as death and funerals. Funny films can open the door to discussing advance care and pre-need funeral planning, helping families reduce stress, minimize conflict, save...
Sweeping Up at the End of the 2014 NFDA Expo
Many people don't realize how hard funeral directors work to keep their homes and chapels sparkling clean for the visiting public. Yes, vacuuming is part of their responsibilities (although it's probably not in the job description when an opening is advertised). Just as the 2014 National Funeral Directors Association expo was coming to a close, I passed the booth for Bissell's BigGreen Commercial sweepers. I could not believe my eyes! Ralph...
Grateful Glass Incorporates Cremated Remains
As burial trends decline and cremation trends rise, how appropriate that Grateful Glass is based in the old Atlas casket factory in Philadelphia. Atlas went out of business about 15 years ago and the space has been re-purposed to house multiple artists producing interesting work. Grateful Glass has a unique product that was considered for an NFDA Innovation Award. The "Un-Urn" is artist Matthew Olian's contemporary take on a traditional urn....
Move a Heavyweight Easily with a HoverMatt
One of the hazards of being a funeral director is lifting dead weight - literally. As a greater number of Americans become obese - over 350 pounds - a greater number of back injuries from lifting such heavy bodies is a real threat to health and safety. The HoverMatt® Air Transfer System from HoverTech International is designed to help both emergency medical technicians and funeral directors move your bigger people out of a home setting and to...