The Family Plot Blog
Aug. 16: One Foot in the Grave – Next Steps
Despite the fact that humans have a 100% mortality rate, less than 25% of adults do any end-of-life planning: wills or trusts, advance medical directives and preneed funeral planning. That means 75% of our loved ones will scramble to collect information and make expensive decisions under duress of grief. It doesn’t have to be that way. Learn what you need to know, and do, BEFORE someone dies to help create a "Good Goodbye." This presentation by...
Video: Your Ethical Will and the Wisdom in Ecclesiastes
What is an Ethical Will and how do you prepare one? Watch this 20-minute talk I presented at The Montecito, a retirement community in Santa Fe, NM. https://youtu.be/kZlq6XaTRIs Turn, Turn, Turn To everything, there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. You may recognize this line as the refrain in the song, "Turn! Turn! Turn!" As sung by the American folk-rock group The Byrds, it became an international hit in 1965. Pete...
August 26: Albuquerque Death Cafe
The next Albuquerque Death Cafe is scheduled for Sunday, August 26 from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. at Manzano de Sol Village, 5201 Roma Street NE (just south of Lomas Blvd. and just west of San Mateo Blvd.). The objective of the Albuquerque Death Cafe is “To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” At these events, people come together in a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss...
When Life Imitates Art: Beach Umbrella Impales Woman
This week's news about not one, but two women impaled by beach umbrellas reminded me of a scene from The Truman Show. The 1998 movie stars Jim Carrey as an insurance agent/adjuster who discovers his entire life is actually a television show. He's on the phone with a prospect and says, "See, this isn't about insurance. This is about the great variable - when will death occur? Could be a week, a month, a year - could be today! A sunbather,...
Video: How Letting Go Makes Life Better
In "Letting Go," Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist, explains how we can live better lives by loosening our grip on old emails, objects, and relationships that don't work. She delivered this speech during the 2018 Toastmasters International Speech Competition in Division B, District 23. A transcript of the speech follows. https://youtu.be/hpKJZFy16x0 Letting Go Recently, I learned a valuable lesson about letting go from a Comcast technical...
July 31: What are Your Ethical Will Life Lessons?
To everything, there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. And now is the time to write your Ethical Will to share your life's lessons. You may recognize the first line above as the refrain in the song, "Turn, Turn, Turn." As sung by the American folk rock group The Byrds, it became an international hit in 1965. The lyrics come from Chapter Three in the Bible's Book of Ecclesiastes, almost verbatim in the King James version....
Expert Advice on Legacy Issues When You Don’t Have Children
Some folks don't think they need a will if they don't have kids. They're wrong. They need estate planning perhaps even more than people who have children. My friend Karen Malone Wright, CEO of TheNotMom.com, was recently featured in a New York Times story by Anna Goldfarb, How to Leave a Legacy When You Don't Have Children. Some points covered: Put your wishes in writing - a will, advance medical directives, and medical power of attorney...
Pre-Planning Your Funeral is the Right Thing to Do
Why should you pre-plan your own funeral or memorial service? Here are a few thoughts to consider about planning ahead for this important life cycle event. With weddings, you have weeks, months, even years to plan, purchase, and implement all the aspects: clergy or celebrant, location(s), communications to family and friends, flowers, clothing, music, food, transportation, hotels, writing the ceremony, and so on. With a funeral, you have only...
News About Funerals and End-of-Life Issues
Here's a round up of recent news stories about funerals and end-of-life issues, collected from leading news sources. Click on the article's title to read the full story. Men with cancer are less likely to accept palliative care - Futurity, July 9, 2018 Men with advanced cancer are 30 percent less likely than women to consider palliative care, according to a new study. The findings reflect social norms about gender roles—as well as widespread...
MesoLoft Can Scatter Your Ashes in the Stratosphere
Are you a weather geek, an aviation fan or a space enthusiast? MesoLoft offers you an out-of-this-world cremated remains scattering service. Your ashes can be scattered beyond Earth’s atmosphere at the edge of outer space, transported aloft by weather balloon. How it Works Using a six-foot diameter weather balloon filled with hydrogen, MesoLoft can launch up to three pounds of cremated remains in a specially-designed urn that will release the...
Getting Your Affairs in Order Before You Die
No one likes to think or talk about their death, but it’s an undeniable fact of life. It’s especially important that those with a family get their affairs in order while they are of sound mind and body. While having life insurance is a great starting point, there’s much more that can be done. Your Last Will and Testament Don’t leave your loved ones wondering what you would have liked for them to do with your property after you die, and you...
July 22 ABQ Death Cafe
Mark your calendar for the next Albuquerque Death Cafe on Sunday, July 22 from 3:00 to 5:00 p.m. in the Fifth Floor Lounge at Manzano del Sol Village, 5201 Roma NE, Albuquerque, NM. If you want to attend, let host Gail Rubin know by sending an email to Gail [at] AGoodGoodbye.com or join the Albuquerque Death Cafe MeetUp group. The Death Cafe objective is “to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their...
July 3: Talk on Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die
The public is welcome to attend Gail Rubin's talk, "Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die." She will be speaking on Tuesday, July 3 around 6:00 p.m. at the Route 66 Civitan Club's weekly meeting at Capo's Restaurant, 722 Central SW, Albuquerque. While the event is free, guests are encouraged to purchase food as part of their attendance. In this upbeat 20-minute talk, Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, will address: It Won't Kill You:...
Before I Die NM Festival Celebrates Day of the Dead and More
The second annual Before I Die NM Festival, six days of death positive events to discuss mortality and plan ahead, is expanding from its Albuquerque origins to include Santa Fe and Belen, New Mexico. The festival will take place October 30 to November 4, 2018 in multiple locations. The 2018 Before I Die NM Festival will celebrate the rituals and meaning of Dia de los Muertos. Day of the Dead celebrations start the evening of October 31 and end...
Sincere Emotions Misinterpreted From Fake Flower
When a funeral director picks up a deceased's body at home, a nursing home, or sometimes even a hospital, some make a thoughtful gesture of leaving a flower on the person's recently-vacated bed or pillow. Some use fresh flowers, others may use artificial (but long lasting) flowers. This Dear Abby letter writer brings up a powerful consideration for funeral directors. If you're giving bereaved families flowers, should they be fresh or fake? DEAR...
These Colorful Stone Markers are Amazing!
You might think granite markers in cemeteries as somber and gray. But the colorful examples OM Stone showed at the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association's (ICCFA) annual expo will make you think twice. Bob March with OM Stone describes the Bronzstone process in this video below. They use a laser process that reaches 3,300 degrees. It actually melts the silica in granite and they add color to create detailed images. These...
June 10: Jewish Section Dedicated at Natural Burial Ground
The first Green Burial Council-certified natural burial ground in New Mexico will dedicate a section specifically for Jewish burials on Sunday, June 10, 2018, 9:30 to 10:30 a.m. The Jewish Federation of New Mexico and La Puerta Natural Burial Ground worked together to create this section specifically for Jewish people and their families. Rabbi Min Kantrowitz will lead the dedication ceremony. All are welcome to attend and learn more about...
Think It’s Too Soon to Preplan a Funeral? You’re Wrong.
Funeral directors hear it all the time: "Oh, it’s too soon for me to preplan my funeral." The common refrain: "It’s always too soon, until it’s too late." How do you create a "good goodbye"? Think about this: funerals are a life cycle event much like a wedding, best planned more than a few days ahead of time. They have the same elements of party planning as any other get-together. You decide on a date, time and place, work with clergy or a...
June 24: Albuquerque Death Cafe
The next Albuquerque Death Cafe will take place on Sunday, June 24 from 3:00 to 5:00 p.m. in the Fifth Floor Lounge at Manzano del Sol Village, 5201 Roma NE, Albuquerque, NM. If you want to attend, let host Gail Rubin know by sending an email to Gail [at] AGoodGoodbye.com or join the Albuquerque Death Cafe MeetUp group. Just what is a Death Cafe, you may ask? The Death Cafe movement started in September, 2011, when Londoner Jon Underwood and...
Videos: Great TV Ads for Funeral Preplanning
It's amazing how much you can convey in a 30-second TV ad. FRENCH Funerals & Cremations just came out with two attention-getting commercials that convey the importance of pre-need funeral planning. This first one, "Coffee Can," starts with a mother and daughter eating together at home. The mother says, "Why are we talking about this over the dinner table? Just put my ashes in a coffee can, or something. Please pass the salt, dear." As she...
Videos: Unique Funeral Products at the ICCFA Expo
Every year, the range of cremation products at the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association (ICCFA) expo expands as the U.S. cremation rate keeps going up. Here are three unique funeral products which were introduced at the 2018 convention in Las Vegas, NV. SongPods of Solace™ AmyLee has been making SongPods Of Solace™ for decades. These hand-welded metal musical instruments gently chime when they are shaken. They...