The Family Plot Blog
How to Take Death out of the Hospital with Hospice Care
Hospice enables people facing end-of-life to die at home, or at least in a supportive environment with as much comfort as possible. Unfortunately, about 35% of patients who go on hospice access this service less than seven days before dying. They are literally at death's door when they enroll. Even though 75% of Americans say they want to die at home, less than 25% of us do. The Southwest Regional Hospice and Palliative Care Symposium, taking...
Helpful Tips to Improve Hospice Grief Follow-Up Calls
Medicare has ground rules for hospice organizations to get paid for providing services. One requirement is for the organization to provide a year of follow-up grief support to the closest “family” of the person who died. In my experiences with several hospice deaths over the past two years, the approaches for follow-up grief support could be improved. About three weeks after my friend Gary died on home hospice in October 2021, I got a call on...
Help Expand Mortality Discussions by Supporting the Death Cafe Movement!
Gail Rubin was one of the first people in the United States to hold a Death Cafe in September of 2012. She spoke to London-based movement founder Jon Underwood over Skype in January, 2012, shortly after he held his first Death Cafe and launched the DeathCafe.com website. He was thrilled to be speaking with The Doyenne of Death® and sharing his insights about this nascent death discussion phenomenon. Even though Gail's motto is "Talking about...
November 28: Gathering of Grief 100th Virtual Vigil with Reimagine
On Giving Tuesday, November 28 at 6:00 p.m. Mountain Standard Time, Reimagine is producing a special "Gathering of Grief," a landmark 100th virtual candlelight vigil, co-hosted with a number of other leading organizations - including A Good Goodbye - dedicated to helping people process loss and grief. If you've not been to a Reimagine vigil, this is the one to attend. This 90-minute virtual event, symbolizing our unified commitment to healthy...
Highlighting Speakers at the 2023 Before I Die New Mexico Festival
We’ve got an incredible line-up of speakers and activities at the 6th annual Before I Die New Mexico Festival, October 16-21, 2023. Taking place at different locations each day around Albuquerque, there's something for everyone. Daily themes are: Money and Mourning; Aging and Mortality; Cremation and Burial; Greening Funerals; Discussing Death Won’t Kill You; and Murder and Mayhem. Selected sessions will be available on Zoom. Some highlights...
Croak and Dagger Talk: I See Dead People
Croak and Dagger, the New Mexico chapter of the Sisters in Crime mystery writers organization, welcomes The Doyenne of Death® Gail Rubin as the speaker at their September meeting. The meeting takes place this Tuesday, September 26 at 7:00 p.m. at the First Unitarian Church at 3701 Carlisle Blvd. NE (at Carlisle and Comanche), Albuquerque, in the Wesson Room. The talk is free and open to the public. Gail Rubin's talk is titled, "I See Dead...
Let’s Vote to Get Mattel to Create a Funeral Director Barbie!
There are at least 70 career Barbie dolls. They range from teachers to politicians, photographers to zoologists. But there is no funeral director Barbie! Funeral director Sarah Brown-Derbah is working to change this. "What I'm trying to do is convince Mattel to create a funeral director Barbie doll. Within the last 15-20 years, women have been representing over 70% of the classes in the mortuary science schools. I want little girls to see that...
Video: Sheldon Rubin Jewish Funeral and Readings
Conducting a funeral for my father was my toughest assignment yet as a Certified Funeral Celebrant. But I got through it without breaking down, and it was a good goodbye. My dad Sheldon Rubin died at the age of 93 on August 29, 2023 at an in-patient hospice in Boca Raton, Florida. Decades earlier, he had purchased burial rights for he and my mom in King David Memorial Gardens in Falls Church, Virginia. The plots are right next to his parents...
Celebrating the Life of Sheldon Rubin
Sheldon Rubin, the definition of a mensch, died at age 93 on August 29, 2023. As he joked so often, when the time came, he said, “Just carry me back to Ole Virginnie.” That’s where his burial plot is located, alongside his parents Benjamin and Dorothy Rubin, and next to his sister Muriel and her husband Arthur Cohen. Shelly was the devoted husband of Ruth for an amazing 69 years of marriage. He’s the loving father of Mitch Rubin and his spouse...
Before I Die New Mexico Festival Celebrates Life while Preparing for Death
The 6th annual Before I Die New Mexico Festival is set to take place in Albuquerque from October 16 to 21, 2023. This unique and thought-provoking event aims to foster a collective exploration of life's most meaningful aspirations and encourage open conversations about mortality, dreams, and the human experience. The festival invites people to reflect on their mortality and make their plans for end-of-life issues. The Before I Die New Mexico...
Video: Cremated Remains Placement Ceremony
How can you make a ceremony to place cremated remains in an ossuary? Here's an example for a scattering service, tailored to the life and personality of Gary Mayhew. The elements of this simple scattering service include: A description of Gary's commendable virtues. A few words from his good friend Rick Berthold. A reading: You Want a Physicist to Speak at Your Funeral. Satirical music by Tom Lehrer: Poisoning Pigeons in the Park, We Will All...
Gail Rubin Discusses Jewish Death and Funeral Traditions August 6
Jewish Funeral Traditions Talk August 6 Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, is a pioneering death educator who knows a lot about Jewish funeral traditions. She is a long-time member of the Chevra Kaddisha and the cemetery committee for Reform synagogue Congregation Albert. An award-winning speaker, she uses humor and film clips to break down resistance to planning ahead for end-of-life issues. She’s also the author of...
Cool Skeleton and Sugar Skull Suitcases on Amazon Prime Day!
As the Doyenne of Death®, I'm always on the lookout for items adorned with a sugar skull and or skeleton. Anything death-image related, be it cowboy boots, shirts, bags, etc. is a business expense. Today is Amazon Prime Day, and they are offering deals on lots of skull stuff. Check out these suitcases, bags and travel tags, on special today! Sugar Skull Suitcase Tags These lively little suitcase tags are made in Mexico and they are being...
Saturday Talk at Humanist Society: Discussing Death Won’t Kill You
Gail Rubin will speak this Saturday to The Humanist Society of New Mexico chapter on the lively topic, "Discussing Death Won't Kill You." The event takes place on June 24, 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. in the community room at the International District Library, 7601 Central Avenue, NE, Albuquerque, NM. The meeting is free and open to the public. Among the topics she'll discuss: Humanism and death Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) in New Mexico How to...
Newly-Dead® The Game Tests Couples and Singles on End-of-Life Issues
Newly-Dead® The Game was conceived to help start funeral planning conversations in a fun, non-threatening way. Created in 2011 by Gail Rubin, pioneering death educator and The Doyenne of Death®, the game was initially offered only as a digital download. The game is now available as a physical product through the online stores at AGoodGoodbye.com, BeforeIDieFestivals.com, and TheGameCrafter.com for $40. Every purchase of the Newly-Dead Game...
In-Person Death Cafe in Historic Fairview Cemetery
The Albuquerque Death Cafe offers a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss death, drink tea (or your favorite beverage) and eat delicious cake or cookies. We also provide options for those avoiding gluten and added sugar. For this event, taking place on Sunday, June 11 at 3:00 p.m., we will meet in-person outdoors at Historic Fairview Cemetery! The objective of the Death Cafe is “To increase awareness of death with a view to helping...
Retirement Living 101: What Are Your Options?
Knowing where to live in retirement can be one of the most critical adult decisions you’ll ever make. You have many options to consider. Every option for seniors has benefits and disadvantages. This post explores several retirement living options you can take, so you can be ready once the time to make a decision arrives. But first, it's crucial to consider the many factors in making your decision. Read on to learn more. What Are The Factors To...
Sadness and Celebration: A Good Goodbye Funeral for David Bleicher
The funeral for my husband David Bleicher took place on May 3, 2023. His death was caused by multiple medical complications following prostate surgery. In three weeks, his health declined precipitously, with a heart attack, sepsis, cardiac arrest in the hospital, heart failure, and other medical challenges. I chose hospice care, which was an incredible blessing for a peaceful exit. Read about his journey and obituary here. Dave and I are...
How I Made A Good Goodbye for David Bleicher
Since 2010, when my book A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die was published, I have been advocating for people to plan ahead for end-of-life issues. And I practice what I preach. My husband David Bleicher and I have written advance medical directives and discussed them often. We did our estate plans and set up a trust. We put our funeral plans and information on file with a funeral home a decade ago and funded those...
Organ Donation at Death: Witnessing a Walk of Honor in the Hospital
Organ donation saves lives, even as the donor loses theirs. April is National Donate Life Month. It's designed to encourage people to register to be organ donors and to talk to their families about it. But few people outside of hospital staff see the process in action. I've recently been spending a lot of time in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit of a local hospital. My husband had a heart attack, coded and was revived. This is heavy stuff,...
First Before I Die Festival Tucson this Sunday, April 16
The first Before I Die Tucson event takes place this Sunday, April 16, which is also National Health Care Decision Day, from 2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. This free event (a $5 donation is suggested) will take place at The Loft Cinema, 3233 East Speedway, Tucson, Arizona. Learn more at www.BeforeIDieAZ.com. Before I Die Tucson features insightful presentations about end-of-life decisions, with speakers, videos and door prizes. It starts with a short...