Before becoming The Doyenne of Death, I fell in love with the film King of Hearts as a teenager.
Recently, I found it on DVD, at an estate sale, of all places. There’s something quietly fitting about that. A film about the absurdity of war, and life and death, rediscovered among the belongings someone left behind after their own life ended.
Just a few days later, I hosted a Mortality Movie Night at my home, where we watched The Savages. Two very different films. Two very different tones. And yet, both include scenes where characters talk directly about death.
Watching them so close together, I realized: these films don’t just portray death, they reveal how we cope with it.
Death as Simple: King of Hearts
In King of Hearts, set during World War I, a group of insane asylum patients take over an abandoned French town. Among them, the Duke and Duchess calmly discuss death: how easy it is, how quickly life can end, and what they would miss.
There’s something striking about the tone of the scene. It’s not fearful. Not angry. Not even particularly sad.
It’s… accepting.
Death, in their view, is simple. Almost obvious. What matters is life: the small pleasures, the relationships, the things that give meaning.
And here’s the twist: these characters are labeled “insane.”
Meanwhile, the so-called sane world outside is busy orchestrating mass destruction. The film quietly asks: who really understands death better?
In this surreal, satirical world, death is not the horror. War, and humanity’s willingness to create it, is.
I didn’t think King of Hearts was a Mortality Movie, but all those decades ago, I wasn’t yet The Doyenne of Death. And boy, did I have a crush on Alan Bates!
Death as Reality: The Savages
Then there’s The Savages.
No whimsy here. No metaphorical distance. A pair of adult siblings have to contend with their demented, estranged father after his longtime lady friend dies. He’d been living with her for 20 years, and yet, he had no rights to continue living in her home after she dies.
In one powerful scene, siblings Jon and Wendy argue about placing their father in a “nicer” assisted living facility. Wendy wants something more comfortable, more upscale. Jon pushes back hard.
He insists that these environments, with their landscaping and “neighborhoods of care,” are designed for the emotional comfort of families, maybe not so much for the residents.
When Wendy presses him, he doesn’t soften his answer.
“People are dying,” he says. Right there, inside those carefully designed spaces.
Death, in his view, is not poetic. It’s physical. It’s uncomfortable. It’s smelly. It’s something we try to disguise with language and aesthetics.
It’s an outburst fueled by anger and grief, but it lands because it names something many people sense but struggle to say out loud.
Between Poetry and Reality
These two films offer radically different lenses:
- King of Hearts treats death as simple, even gentle
- The Savages insists on its messy, physical reality
One invites reflection. The other demands confrontation.
And most of us?
We live somewhere in between.
We want to believe in a version of death that feels meaningful, maybe even peaceful. But we also know, on some level, that dying can be complicated, uncomfortable, and hard to witness.
So we do what humans do best: we soften it.
We use euphemisms.
We design beautiful facilities.
We focus on “quality of life” without always naming what’s coming next.
As Jon points out, sometimes those choices are as much about protecting ourselves as they are about caring for others.
What These Films Reveal
Watching these two scenes together, I was struck by how differently people talk about death depending on context:
- At a distance, we can be philosophical, even serene
- Up close, we may become avoidant… or brutally direct
The Duke and Duchess talk about what they’ll miss.
Jon talks about what we refuse to see.
Wendy stands in a place many of us recognize: wanting something kinder, something more bearable, even if it doesn’t tell the whole truth.
So How Do We Talk About Death?
Maybe the real question these films raise isn’t which version is “right.”
Maybe it’s this:
How do we hold both truths at the same time? That death can be:
- inevitable
- meaningful
- and physically and emotionally difficult
In my work, I see this tension all the time. People don’t need death to be sugarcoated, but they also don’t need it stripped of all dignity and meaning.
We’re looking for language and experiences that let us face reality without losing our humanity.
A Question for You
After watching these scenes, I’m curious:
Which feels more familiar to you?
The gentle, philosophical acceptance of King of Hearts?
Or the raw, unfiltered honesty of The Savages?
Or, like most of us… are you navigating somewhere in between?
Want to Watch More Films Like This?
If conversations like this intrigue you, you might enjoy exploring more films that tackle mortality from different angles.
In my book, 98.6 Mortality Movies to See Before You Die, I highlight films that open the door to thinking and talking about death in meaningful ways. The Savages made the list for exactly this reason: it doesn’t let us look away.
King of Hearts, on the other hand, was a favorite long before I became The Doyenne of Death. If I were writing the book today, it just might sneak its way in. Some films find us early… and stay with us because they quietly shape how we understand life, loss, and what it means to be human.
If you’re looking for your next Mortality Movie Night pick, or just want to reflect on how film can help us face the inevitable with a little more honesty (and maybe even a little more grace), you’ll find plenty of inspiration there.
