Woody Allen on Living Life Backwards

Oct 3, 2012 | 0 comments

Woody Allen has the best quotes about death. Here’s some death humor that has been around a while, but it’s worth repeating.


“In my next life, I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born.

And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! you finish off as an orgasm!”

Woody Allen on death: what is your relationship with death?


I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work… I want to achieve it through not dying.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.

Death is an acquired trait.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Death should not be seen as the end, but as a very effective way to cut down expenses.

I do not believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

You can also get helpful and humorous tips about funeral planning in A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.

A Good Goodbye