Video: Write Your ‘Upon My Death’ Letter Today!

Jul 6, 2022 | 0 comments

What goes into an “Upon My Death” letter? In this video, Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death®, shares the heartfelt and humorous story of her friend Gary Mayhew. He took her advice about planning for end-of-life.

In this video recorded for the National Speakers Association New Mexico chapter’s 2022 Speakers Showcase, Gail presented her speech, “Be Like Gary.”

A bulleted list of items to include in an Upon My Death letter follows the video.

Gail Rubin in NSA-NM 2022 Speaker Showcase

Writing Your Own Upon My Death Letter

Gail Rubin speaker showcase video

Gail Rubin shares an Upon My Death letter.

Here are some ideas for information to include in your own Upon My Death letter:

  • Contacts for family and friends to be informed of a death.
  • Account information and contacts for services such as:
  • Bank and investment accounts;
  • Cable and/or internet provider;
  • Home mortgage or auto loans still being paid;
  • Professionals such as an attorney, CPA, and investment advisor;
  • Pension and/or IRA accounts that provide income in retirement;
  • Utilities such as electricity, gas, and water;
  • Passwords for online accounts.
  • A listing of valuable assets, such as artwork, musical instruments, and jewelry. You may wish to also dictate to whom you would like to gift these items upon your death.
  • Some thoughts about what you want for your final disposition and celebration of your life.

A free 10-page planning form is available from to help you craft an Upon My Death letter. Simply enter your name and email at the website opt-in box to receive either a Word or PDF document you can fill out on your own time. It’s also available in Gail Rubin’s award-winning book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die. (Amazon affiliate link)

Another helpful resource is the 50-Point Executors Checklist from Gail’s book, Kicking The Bucket List: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die. (Amazon affiliate link) Sign up for the free checklist here.

About Gail Rubin

Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death®, helps get end-of-life and funeral planning conversations started with a light touch on a serious subject.

Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death

Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death®

As an award-winning speaker, she uses humor and funny film clips to attract people to topics many would rather avoid: taking care of advance medical directives, estate planning and funeral planning. She is an active member of the National Speakers Association serving as the 2019-2020 president of the New Mexico Chapter, and is active in Toastmasters International.

Gail pioneered the Death Cafe movement in the United States. She hosted the first Death Cafe west of the Mississippi in Albuquerque, New Mexico in September, 2012.

She also held the first Before I Die Festival west of the Mississippi in October, 2017. Her 2018 Before I Die New Mexico Festival won the ICCFA’s KIP Award for Best Event. In 2019, she introduced one-day Before I Die Festivals, hosted by funeral homes and cemeteries.

In 2020, Gail became president of the nonprofit organization that supports Historic Fairview Cemetery in Albuquerque, NM. The cemetery, established in 1881, is the final resting place of approximately 12,000 people, reflecting the history and development of Albuquerque, New Mexico and the United States.

A Good Goodbye