The Family Plot Blog
Two Events This Week
Thursday, September 8th is going to be a busy day! I'm speaking at the Santa Fe Doorways meeting from 11:30 to 1:00 p.m. in addition to having A Good Goodbye represented at the International Literacy Day at the Albuquerque Main Library. Santa Fe Doorways is a network of care providers related to hospice and end-of-life issues. Here are details about this talk at Santa Fe Doorways: ""Funny Films to Start Serious Funeral Planning Conversations"...
Changing Return Address Labels
Here's a sort of funeral etiquette question about blacking out the name of the deceased on return address labels used by widows. This didn't show up in the online Dear Abby column, but it ran in today's Albuquerque Journal. DEAR ABBY: In years past, I have lost three friends. Because we lived far apart, I learned the sad news when their widows informed me by letter of their deaths. In each case, the widow had blacked out the name of her spouse...
Ask Thelma Column on Funerals
Etiquette expert Thelma Domenici's latest "Ask Thelma" column includes a query about the organization of funerals. The question is not about funeral etiquette, but the changing structure of the memorial service itself. The writer is uncomfortable with the growing trend of inviting attendees to stand up and speak off the cuff about the deceased. There's often an uncomfortable silence after attendees are asked to share impromptu stories. This...
Facelift Funerals
Yesterday, I had the pleasure of interviewing Stephanie West Allen, the creator of Create a Great Funeral Day. We had a wide-ranging conversation on how she started the funeral planning "holiday" in 2000, the benefits of discussing one's wishes, such as becoming aware of one's legacy, and "good" funerals versus "bad" funerals. A full-fledged article will come soon. She has some very insightful views on the importance of talking about our values...
Greetings from the New Mexico Conference on Aging
I've been hanging out today talking about funeral planning along with the fine folks at French Advance Planning. We were in the expo hall for the New Mexico Conference on Aging. Here's a little video from the day. Governor Susana Martinez is going to be speaking here tomorrow - that should be interesting to witness. Anyone have any questions they want me to ask her? http://youtu.be/PMeZ5XPK6O8
Video from ADEC Conference
http://youtu.be/_qN2PxK0TBU At the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference back in June, I met a wonderful woman from Scotland named Tabitha Jayne. She spoke at the conference about overcoming grief by communing with nature. Her talk was titled, “The Transformative Power of Nature in Grief and Loss.” Tabitha Jayne became an expert in the field of grief and loss coaching after she developed an interest in the topic...
Funeral Words of Wisdom
Enjoy this wonderfully poetic essay, words of wisdom about living and dying and funerals. It was written by someone who participated in the Celebrant training at ICCFA University who wishes to remain anonymous. One day you will have a funeral. Now, none of us want it to happen but we all know it will. Stuffed in a suit, buried in a box, you’ll burn to ashes, walk through pearly gates, chill underground, or maybe reincarnate. Point is your life...
A Creative End for Larry Hagman
In Sunday's New York Times Magazine, actor Larry Hagman had a fun Q&A with Andrew Goldman in the "Talk" column. He's got an interesting take on funeral planning. The online version is titled "The Rollicking Life of Larry Hagman" and he talks about a mescaline trip on an Indian reservation, being drunk most of the time he played J.R. Ewing on the TV show "Dallas" and his love of soaking in hot water. But it's the last answer that I love the...
Celebrants Offer More Meaningful Funerals
Meaningful funerals. Isn’t that a given? Aren’t most funerals meaningful and personal? If you’ve been to one recently, you know that’s not always the case. A recent article on Miller-McCune.com explored aspects of the services offered by celebrants. "Families with no house of worship or clergy too busy to lead a service may resort to a “rent-a-minister," says Glenda Stansbury, dean of the In-Sight Institute in Oklahoma City, one of the...
Revive the Men of Mortuaries Calendar!
Check out this Men of Mortuaries calendar image from 2008. The Good Funeral Guide Blog in the U.K., headed up by Charles Cowling, recently ran a post about the charitable calendar that made appearances in 2007 and 2008. Obit Magazine did a fun story about the project back in 2007: OMG!! Men of Mortuaries? The calendar is produced by KAMM Cares, a non-profit organization created by Kenneth McKenzie (Mr. June 2008). The organization places money...
Eulogy for a Young Person
After reading this post, if you're looking for additional guidance on creating a eulogy, check out these other Family Plot Blog posts: A Short Memorial Service Template A Ceremony for Cremation During Celebrant training at the ICCFA University in July, our class of 36 was split up into teams of three and given the assignment of creating a personalized, non-religious memorial service for a specific kind of death. The categories of deaths...
Eleanor Clift on the Conversation about Hospice
Eleanor Clift had a column in today's Cleveland Plain Dealer about the importance of talking about hospice and end-of-life care and choices. Her husband was Tom Brazaitis, a columnist for the paper. She makes some excellent points about health care costs, "death panels," and reaching "a good death." Why talking about end-of-life care is more important than ever: Eleanor Clift My late husband, Tom Brazaitis, was a columnist for The Plain Dealer,...
CRAGG: Interview on Cult Radio-A-Go-Go Tonight!
The Internet radio program Cult Radio-A-Go-Go, a.k.a. CRAGG, is interviewing Gail Rubin this Saturday, August 6 at 8:00 p.m Pacific Time/9:00 p.m. Mountain Time/10:00 p.m. Central Time/11:00 p.m. Eastern Time. To listen in, visit http://www.cultradioagogo.com/ and click on the "Listen Live" button. Gail is a Certified Celebrant and author of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die. She'll discuss new trends in funerals,...
New Trend: 3-D Faces on Gravestones
Creepy or comforting? I'm thinking this development is kinda creepy. A company in Florida called LOOKLIKES is using 3-D mapping technology developed for turning Mars and Moon landscapes into topographical models (for plotting suitable landing sites) to make eerily realistic face sculptures of the deceased to put on their memorial markers. The technology will be introduced at this year’s National Funeral Directors Association convention in...
Gail Rubin Becomes a Certified Celebrant
In our mobile society with fewer ties to church or a specific religion, Funeral Celebrants offer families a personalized and individualized funeral or memorial service experience. Gail Rubin, author of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, recently became a Funeral Celebrant certified by the In-Sight Institute. A Funeral Celebrant is trained in the specific area of conducting funerals and memorial services for...
Funeral for Charlie Sheen Character
The news is just breaking that Charlie Sheen's character in the CBS sitcom "Two and a Half Men" will be killed off at the start of the new season that starts September 19. Where there's a death, there's a funeral, always a rich source for comedy situations. Deadline and TMZ report that Charlie Harper is dead and that the two-part premiere will include a funeral populated by the playboy's many past girlfriends. This could be as amusing as the...
Cryonics Founder Dies at 92, Frozen Immediately
Robert C.W. Ettinger, who conceived and created cryonics (preserving a body in a deep freeze for eventual reanimation), died on July 23 at his home in Clinton Township, Mich. He was 92. We have Mr. Ettinger to thank for the eventual creation of the Frozen Dead Guy Days festival. Ettinger was a physics instructor and science fiction writer whose idea of freezing the dead for future reanimation repelled most scientists. Ettinger's work inspired...
Funeral Planning by the Numbers
Just spoke yesterday at Alamosa Books as part of a day of talks by SouthWest Writers members in different genres (mine was nonfiction). Had a great turnout with a group of widows who made an outing to hear me talk! The speech was "Funeral Planning by the Numbers." It covers numbers one through six, which are: One life to live Two events: weddings and funerals and their similarities Three reasons we don't want to pre-plan funerals Four reasons...
Alamosa Book Store Event Saturday
If you're in Albuquerque, hope you'll come out for a talk I'm giving at an author event at Alamosa Books this Saturday, July 30 at 3:15 p.m. I'll be talking about A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die, while dressed in full "Doyenne of Death" regalia! A bunch of local authors who are members of SouthWest Writers are speaking throughout the day at Alamosa Books. The store is located on the northwest corner of Paseo del...
A Good Goodbye TV Interview
Check out the TV interview this morning on New Mexico Style on KASA FOX 2! A Good Goodbye Published : Thursday, 28 Jul 2011, 1:14 PM MDT KASA - "The Doyenne of Death," and Author of "A Good Goodbye," Gail Rubin, joins Nikki to talk about her book, the importance of funeral planning and being best prepared for the inevitable deaths we will have to deal with in our lives. She lightens up a heavy topic and shares details for all her upcoming...
KASA FOX 2 Interview on New Mexico Style
Gail Rubin, author of The Family Plot Blog and A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die, will be interviewed on New Mexico Style on Thursday, July 28, 2011 between 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m. Gail is presenting a talk, "Using Funny Films to Start Serious Funeral Planning Conversations," on Thursday afternoon at the Bear Canyon Senior Center, 4645 Pitt NE, Albuquerque, NM. She will show film clips from major motion pictures...