The Family Plot Blog
Day 1: Remembering September 11
http://youtu.be/zbwB8PHFFB4 People throughout the United States stopped to remember our losses on September 11, 2011, the tenth anniversary of the terrorist attacks. This national day of remembrance seemed an appropriate way to start this second 30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge. Daniels Family Funeral Services created a Twin Towers memorial at their Vista Verde Memorial Park in Rio Rancho, New Mexico. They held a 10-year commemoration there "To...
A Good Goodbye a NM Book Awards Finalist
Exciting news! A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die is a finalist in five categories of the 2011 New Mexico Book Awards. A Good Goodbye is the only finalist in the Family/Parenting category (does that make it an automatic first place?). In addition, it is a finalist in the Nonfiction, Reference, Religious, and Self-Help categories. The finalists were announced on September 23, and the winners will be announced at the...
Does Happiness Equal Longetivity?
Today we salute Helen “Happy” Reichert, who died at the age of 109 in her New York City apartment. Throughout her life, Reichert vigorously promoted a rigid recipe for success: chocolate truffles, hamburgers, Budweiser beer, cigarettes and New York nightlife. Strictly forbidden were vegetables, exercising, getting up early and complaining. We should all live as long and as well as this woman. It's a good way to start the Jewish New Year with...
Arch West, Inventor of the Dorito, Dead at 97
Ashes to ashes, crunch to crunch. Arch West, a Frito-Lay executive who created the Dorito after sampling greasy fried tortilla chips while on a 1964 family vacation in Southern California, died on September 20, 2011. He was 97. At least in his case, junk food did not kill him, vascular surgery complications did. (Or perhaps the fact that he was OLD). Mr. West’s cremated remains will be placed in an urn and buried in a vault, his daughter Jana...
2011 30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge
Gail Rubin is a politically correct funeral crasher. Starting September 30, she will attend 30 funerals or memorial services in 30 days and write about each on The Family Plot Blog. The “30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge” will end on October 30, the 12th annual Create a Great Funeral Day. Rubin, the author of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, is a Certified Celebrant who brings light to a dark subject and helps...
Funny Films Talk with YMCA in D.C.
If you live in the Washington, D.C. area, you might want to come out for this talk I'm giving this coming Monday, September 26. Funny Films for Serious Funeral Planning Conversations - A Lunch & Learn sponsored by the YMCA of Metropolitan Washington's Fit & Well Seniors Program - brings light to the dark subject of funeral planning. People just learn this stuff better when they're laughing. Presenter Gail Rubin gets the conversation...
Cemetery Etiquette Views
The Dear Abby column in our local newspaper ran a number of letters yesterday in response to a July 25 letter about proper etiquette in cemeteries. Here is the original letter and Dear Abby's response: DEAR ABBY: I live down the street from the town cemetery. It contains some old stones from the 1800s that are starting to crumble. This cemetery has become a favorite place for many to walk their dogs or ride their bikes. One woman lets her dog...
Two and a Half Men Funeral
Did you watch the funeral on last night's debut of the new season of Two and a Half Men? I tuned in just to see what they'd do to officially get rid of Charlie Sheen's character, Charlie Harper, and of course, report on the funeral. It looked like a traditional funeral, but - this being a comedy - there were snarky comments from the large group of Charlie's ex-girlfriends in attendance. When brother Alan Harper said, "I know this is a very sad...
Cryonics and Estate Planning
This is today's guest post that I wrote for the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys blog. Former American Idol judge and The X Factor creator Simon Cowell. Famed baseball slugger Ted Williams. Bredo Morstoel. Robert Ettinger. What do these four men have in common? And who are Morstoel and Ettinger? They all have been, or intend to be, put into a cryogenic deep freeze after death. Their hope: when medical science comes up with a cure...
Living and Dying, Setbacks and Advances
In your life, are you able to see past setbacks in a new positive light? Contrasting living and dying really helps clarify values. Loved today's blog post by Robert Armstrong, President and Founder of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys: Given the retirement of Steve Jobs as CEO of Apple, I was reminded of his attitude about his health risks and how it empowered rather than limited him: "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the...
Burial Alternatives Going Mainstream
The Science Channel on MSNBC.com recently ran an interesting story on eight burial alternatives that are becoming more common. LiveScience Senior Writer Stephanie Pappas wrote this great piece that covered alkaline hydrolysis (also called resomation), natural burial (a.k.a. green burial), eternal reefs, cryonics, space burial, mummification, plastination (preserving bodies for education or exhibitions), and freeze drying. I've written quite a...
Memorial Stone Joke
A joke for today: Sam died and his will provided $50,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last attendees left, Sam's wife, Rose, turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said, "Well, I'm sure Sam would be pleased." "I'm sure you're right, " replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Tell me, Rose, how much did it really cost?" "All of it? Fifty thousand," said Rose. "No!" Sadie exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but...
Writing at the End-of-Life
NPR did an interesting story this morning about an end-of-life exercise that can help both the living and dying. For several decades, psychiatrists who work with the dying have been trying to come up with new psychotherapies that can help people cope with the reality of their death. One of these therapies asks the dying to tell the story of their life. This end-of-life treatment, called dignity therapy, was created by a man named Harvey...
Remembering Lives Lost on 9/11
This afternoon, I attended a memorial service at a new monument to those who died on September 11, 2001. Ten years later, a memorial scroll with 2,998 names of those who died as a result of the terrorist actions on that day, was interred with pieces of concrete and steel from the Twin Towers in New York City. This event took place in Rio Rancho, New Mexico, at the Vista Verde Cemetery. The event was put together by Daniels Family Funeral...
Second Chances by Chuck Gallagher
Chuck Gallagher makes a strong entrance when he speaks. He shuffles up to the stage wearing an orange prison jumpsuit and shackled in handcuffs as he speaks about taking 23 steps into federal prison. "Choices have consequences" is Gallagher's mantra, and his book, Second Chances: Transforming Adversity into Opportunity, reinforces that message throughout. His talk at the ICCFA convention earlier this year was billed as "Ethical Choices: The...
Death and Debt
CNN Money recently did an interesting story about how credit cards and banks pursue grieving family to settle debts held by the deceased. This is yet another part of funeral planning that folks don't usually consider. What kind of balances are you carrying on your credit cards? Is it something the executor can easily pay off for you in the weeks following your demise? What about loans from banks? How long will it take before the life insurance,...
On Joy and Sorrow
When in the midst of grieving, consider these words of wisdom from Khalil Gibran, Lebanese-American poet, writer, and artist, and author of The Prophet: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was often time filled with your tears... When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again...
Two Events This Week
Thursday, September 8th is going to be a busy day! I'm speaking at the Santa Fe Doorways meeting from 11:30 to 1:00 p.m. in addition to having A Good Goodbye represented at the International Literacy Day at the Albuquerque Main Library. Santa Fe Doorways is a network of care providers related to hospice and end-of-life issues. Here are details about this talk at Santa Fe Doorways: ""Funny Films to Start Serious Funeral Planning Conversations"...
Changing Return Address Labels
Here's a sort of funeral etiquette question about blacking out the name of the deceased on return address labels used by widows. This didn't show up in the online Dear Abby column, but it ran in today's Albuquerque Journal. DEAR ABBY: In years past, I have lost three friends. Because we lived far apart, I learned the sad news when their widows informed me by letter of their deaths. In each case, the widow had blacked out the name of her spouse...
Ask Thelma Column on Funerals
Etiquette expert Thelma Domenici's latest "Ask Thelma" column includes a query about the organization of funerals. The question is not about funeral etiquette, but the changing structure of the memorial service itself. The writer is uncomfortable with the growing trend of inviting attendees to stand up and speak off the cuff about the deceased. There's often an uncomfortable silence after attendees are asked to share impromptu stories. This...
Facelift Funerals
Yesterday, I had the pleasure of interviewing Stephanie West Allen, the creator of Create a Great Funeral Day. We had a wide-ranging conversation on how she started the funeral planning "holiday" in 2000, the benefits of discussing one's wishes, such as becoming aware of one's legacy, and "good" funerals versus "bad" funerals. A full-fledged article will come soon. She has some very insightful views on the importance of talking about our values...