The Family Plot Blog
Reflecting on Robin Williams Death and What Dreams May Come
There's no official news yet about funeral plans for entertainer Robin Williams, who died on Monday, August 11. The 63-year-old apparently committed suicide by hanging himself. The Daily Mirror in the U.K reports he will be laid to rest in the San Francisco area in a very small, private family funeral and The Metro and other news outlets report the Westboro Baptist Church will try to picket the funeral. Just as with the worldwide reaction to...
Another Stylin’ Hearse at the NFDMA Convention
At the expo at National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association (NFDMA) convention in Dallas, I saw some amazing funeral vehicles on display. Check out this video with Robert P. Durant, Your Funeral Coach and Limousine Dealer. He points out the finer aspects of the Heritage Coach Company hearse he's displaying at this funeral director expo. The vehicle includes extra-wide capacity, an airplane hinge back door, and a smoking sound system!...
ABQ Death Cafe Report
The Albuquerque Death Cafe meeting on Saturday, August 9 drew 11 people to join in mortality discussions with host Gail Rubin, CT. Our Death Cafe mascot Lola sported a new look at his event. The new location at the Swiss Alps Bakery Cafe was a bit noisy inside, but after we moved out on the shaded patio, it was easy to hear everyone. All the food and drink they serve is delicious! We started out discussing "donating your body to science," the...
National News on Cemetery Costs and Aid-in-Dying
There were two stories on national news outlets this morning, one about cemetery costs on the TODAY Show and NPR's Morning Edition did a piece about physician aid-in-dying in Germany. The NPR story, "When and How to Die: Germany Debates Whose Choice It Is," focuses on a young man with MS. There are a number of things he needs help doing, and when he becomes too disabled to get out of bed, he plans to drink a cocktail of barbiturates and drift...
Brand New Old Looking Stylish Hearse
Just saw this amazing old-timey-looking hearse at the National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association annual meeting in Dallas. I spoke here today and got to look around the expo for a few hours. Richard Neal, President of Rosewood Classic Coach, gives a detailed tour of this beautiful automobile, designed with functionality for the funeral director as well as eye-catching flair for the consumer. Even though this looks like an old classic...
News and Notes: Mortality Salience
Just returned from Colorado and attending the Purposeful Planning Institute's Rendezvous, a remarkable two days of collaborative dialogue, keynotes, and breakout sessions with a host of professionals exploring best practices for legacy families and families in business. I presented “Estate Planning, Hollywood Style," a collection of mostly comedy film clips that illustrated issues related to wills: if you die without a will, or haven't updated...
“Time Flies” Note Cards Make Lasting Impressions
Forget email – that’s so passé. If you are mourning, sending a physical thank you card to those who helped you is a healing activity – if you already have the tools on hand: the cards, the stamps and the mailing addresses for the people who helped you. In business, an elegant hand-written card also makes a positive, lasting impression after a business meeting, media interview, or networking event. To really make your mark, go old school with a...
Have a Plan B for Body Donation
Over the weekend, the local NBC-TV news affiliate ran a story about Chuck Pagliarulo, a man whose dying wish to donate his body to science was denied. It reinforces the importance of having a "Plan B" if your first plan is to donate to a medical school. After receiving his diagnosis last year, Chuck had planned to donate his cancer-ridden body to the University of New Mexico Medical School for students to study. Both he and his wife Terese...
How to Talk to Your Doctor or Other Health Care Provider
By Gail Rubin, CT Does this sound familiar? After months of complaining about various ailments, Mom gets an appointment to see the doctor. When he asks how she’s feeling, she says, “I feel okay” or “I don’t feel well today” without further details. She’s just wasted her valuable time, as well as the doctor’s. It doesn’t have to be this way. To make the most of any doctor visit, prepare and plan ahead before going to a health care professional....
News and Notes: Medicine and Mortality
It's been a busy few weeks in the debate over physician aid-in-dying. Both doctors and clerics have weighed in on a current debate in the United Kingdom's House of Lords over a bill based on Oregon's 1997 Right to Die legislation. At the Family Plot Blog, we've reprinted an opinion column by retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who has worked all his life for the dignity of the living and now advocates for the dignity of the dying. He wrote about...
Event: Albuquerque Death Cafe August 9
The next Albuquerque Death Cafe will be on Saturday, August 9 at 2:00 p.m. NEW LOCATION: This Death Cafe will be held at the Swiss Alps Bakery Cafe, 3000 San Pedro NE, Suite F, Albuquerque, NM 87110. Phone: 505-881-3063. The objective of Death Cafe is “To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” It’s all about an interesting, unstructured conversation – open and free-flowing with no...
Event: August 7 Jewish Funeral Traditions on Film Presentation
The Aaron Family JCC in Dallas is hosting a presentation by Gail Rubin, CT, titled "Jewish Funeral Traditions on Film." This free event takes place Thursday, August 7, 10:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. at the JCC, located at 7900 Northaven Road, Dallas, TX. Learn Jewish traditions related to death, funerals and mourning in this upbeat talk! Using humorous clips from films including The Cemetery Club, My Mexican Shivah, and Nora’s Will, you’ll understand...
Event: August 6 NFDMA Convention Presentation
Gail Rubin, CT, addresses The National Funeral Directors & Morticians Association (NFDMA) at their 77th annual convention, taking place August 2-7, 2014 in Dallas, Texas at the Hilton Anatole. On August 6, she presents "A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die." Presentation description: Comedy movies can open the door toward preened planning. Funny films provide an effective way to attract people to consider and...
Event: August 5 OASIS Talk “We Can Do That?”
"We Can Do That? New Trends in Death Care" by Gail Rubin, CT, will cover topics including rising cremation rates, aid-in-dying, green burial, DIY/home funerals, QR codes, celebrant services, alkaline hydrolysis and more in this upbeat, fact-filled presentation. The talk will be illustrated by film clips and there will be a drawing for Gail's book and TV series on DVD, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die. The class...
Desmond Tutu in Favor of Aid-in-Dying
Over the weekend, Desmond Tutu, archbishop emeritus of Cape Town and a Nobel peace laureate, expressed his support of death with dignity and assisted dying. His opinions were published in a column in The Observer of London, just before the House of Lords is to debate the issue later this week. Peers will debate an assisted dying bill proposed by the former lord chancellor, Lord Falconer. A record number of peers – 110 so far – have registered...
Gail Rubin’s Draft Obituary
In this age where well-crafted obituaries go viral on the Internet, Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist, The Doyenne of Death®, and host and author of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, wrote her own obituary in advance of her eventual demise. Others are advised to do the same, to help them get the most out of this finite lifetime. Here is her draft obituary, subject to changes. After __ years (starting in 2010)...
Videos that Demystify Hospice and Medical Procedures
When a doctor tells a patient what a ventilator does, it's not nearly as effective as showing the patient the process of insertion and being on the ventilator. Videos can help explain end-of-life issues and foster patient and family understanding better than words alone. Years ago, Dr. Angelo Volandes, an internist and co-founder of ACP Decisions, took care of a hospital patient with terminal cancer. He discussed her prognosis and available...
Friday Funeral Film: The Queen
Need funeral planning guidance? Check out the 2007 film, The Queen. The film traces The Royal Family's evolving response to the death of Princess Diana in 1997 and the planning and implementation of her funeral. After Diana, "The People's Princess," dies in a car accident in Paris, The Queen decides that the Royal Family should hide their mourning behind the closed doors of Balmoral Castle in Scotland. Her aim is to protect her grandsons, the...
New Season of A Good Goodbye TV Starts Tomorrow
If you have Comcast cable TV in Albuquerque, the full series airing of the award-winning television show A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die starts this Thursday, July 3 and runs for 14 weeks. The program will air on Channel 27 twice weekly: Thursdays at 12:30 p.m. and Sundays at 5:30 p.m. A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die presents an educational and entertaining series of 25-minute...
ABQ Death Cafe Conversations from Saturday
The conversation at Saturday's Albuquerque Death Cafe included discussion of Casey Kasem's end-of-life situation, advance directives and wills, physician aid-in-dying, altar calls at funerals, and more. The recent news about the family tug-of-war between Casey Kasem's second wife of 34 years and his children from his first marriage played out in numerous media outlets. We discussed how family relationships can break down after learning about...
Birthday Party as Celebration of Life?
In a recent Dear Abby column, a correspondent posed a question about whether it would be appropriate to hold a 75th birthday party as a "Celebration of My Life -- So Far." This person is enjoying retirement in good health and has a comfortable lifestyle. From the column: I'm excited about it and eagerly anticipating more than 60 guests for cocktails and a sit-down dinner at a nearby hotel. It's not uncommon these days for a celebration of life...