The Family Plot Blog
Funeral Etiquette – Flowers & Cards
Did you see today's Dear Abby column? A woman wrote her in-laws a nasty note because when her father died six weeks ago, they didn't send flowers to the viewing and didn't send a sympathy note to her mother until two weeks after the funeral. The in-laws lived out of state and weren't close to the daughter-in-laws' parents. Their question was, should they have sent flowers, and is two weeks too late to send a sympathy card? Dear Abby said...
More News on End-of-Life Issues
You know, Sarah Palin may have done the hospice and palliative care movement a great favor with her incendiary comment about "death panels." Look for these two thoughtful articles from yesterday's New York Times: Months to Live: At the End, Offering Not a Cure, but Comfort by Anemona Hartocollis, a wonderful profile of a palliative care doctor and a couple of his patients. Doctor and Patient: Talking Often, and Calmly, About Dying by Pauline W....
Funeral Viewing Lesson
This Associated Press story is about a family that found itself viewing another man's dead body at the funeral for their father. There's a valuable lesson here: If you're going to put the body on display, take a look to make sure it's the right person in the casket before the funeral starts. But, man, what if it was a closed casket ceremony and no one knew the wrong body was in there? There's a tragic comedy scenario waiting to happen.
“Death Panels” or Prudent Planning?
Even with advance medical directives in place, when the time comes to put the patient’s wishes into action, real life gets messy.
Who Is Gail Rubin and Why is She Writing About Funeral Planning?
As a columnist for the now-defunct Albuquerque Tribune, I wrote “Matchings, Hatchings, and Dispatchings,” a how-to feature about local weddings, births, and deaths. The columns on death invariably elicited the greatest number of responses from readers who resonated with the information. To help people better handle the life cycle event associated with death, I have focused my writing and researching efforts to show the many ways "dispatchings"...
Why Plan Ahead for a Funeral?
Here’s a thought to consider. With a wedding, you have weeks, months, even years to plan, purchase and implement all the aspects: clergy, location, communications, flowers, clothing, music, food, transportation, and so on. With a funeral, you have only an average of 24 to 72 hours to make the same types of arrangements, while also dealing with the emotional impact of the loss of a loved one. Planning a funeral right after a family member dies...
Why Have a Funeral or Memorial Service?
Maybe you don’t care what people do about you after your death. After all, you won’t be around to enjoy the party. But the people who love you care deeply. My friend Gary, a confirmed bachelor in his 60s with no immediate family in the area, says that he doesn’t want a funeral when he dies. To his way of thinking, he’s not religious, doesn’t like ceremonies or rituals, and doesn’t want people to make a fuss. But so many of his friends will miss...
Welcome to The Family Plot
Passed on. Kicked the bucket. Gave up the ghost. Checked out. Left the building. Keeled over. Took the Big Bus. Caught the last train. Bought the farm. Paid the ultimate price. Pushing up daisies. Knocking on the Pearly Gates. Taking a dirt nap. Gone to the Great (whatever) in the Sky. There are so many euphemisms for death. How many people will just say so-and-so died? We’re afraid to think or talk about death, perhaps for fear that its...