The Family Plot Blog
YourFuneralGuy Names A Good Goodbye #1 for 2010
A GOOD GOODBYE IS NUMBER ONE! Respected funeral blogger R. Brian Burkhardt, YourFuneralGuy, just posted about his top picks in the best funeral books of 2010. A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die by yours truly, Gail Rubin, was his number one pick. High praise from professionals in hospice, funeral service, clergy, as well as general readers is also coming in. If you've had a chance to read it, your comments are...
Green Burial Online Planning Tool
Here's some news on funeral planning for those who plan to go green with their burials. The Green Burial Council (GBC) announced it has launched the first online planning tool designed to allow families to identify and work more closely with funeral service providers offering eco-friendly options. Available in an easy-to-use writable PDF format, the document guides consumers through a series of questions that helps them clarify their end of...
Alkaline Hydrolysis – An Excerpt from A Good Goodbye
A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die is now available! Here's a small excerpt from the chapter titled "We Can Do That? New Trends in Death Care" about alkaline hydrolysis. A New Eco-Friendly Disposal Method While not in widespread use by funeral homes yet, there’s a relatively new process that liquefies the body into a coffee-colored sterile solution that can be safely disposed of in water or on land without concern...
Skeletons in the Closet: The L.A. Coroner Store
Skeletons in the Closet is a fun and funky gift shop run by the Los Angeles County Coroner's Office. "We're dying for your business!" is the shop's slogan, and unfortunately, according to an article in the New York Times, it's true. Business has been slow. Body bags go for $20. Yellow crime scene tape is $6. Toe tags are normally $5, but they were sold out this month. The merchandise comes in a white plastic shopping bag that says "Los Angeles...
End-of-Life Conversations and New Medicare Rules
The top story in today's New York Times focuses on a new Medicare policy that goes into effect on January 1, 2011 to pay doctors who discuss and advise patients on options for end-of-life care. The conversation may include advance medical directives from the patient as to whether they may wish to forgo aggressive life-sustaining treatment. It's about time. The furor over "death panels" related to end-of-life planning that erupted last year...
Christmas Luminaria Cemetery Tradition
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6N7dg7o9EU This Christmas Eve, I stopped in the Mount Calvary Cemetery, a Catholic cemetery, to take in the sight of thousands of luminarias decorating the graves. It's a ritual that brings light in the darkness to those who sleep in the dust. Luminarias are simply brown paper bags with sand or gravel in the bottom and a single votive candle casting light on the inside of the bag. They are a magical Christmas Eve...
Richard Abruzzo Burial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Llppkyv_rTM Today the body of Richard Abruzzo was laid to rest in the Gates of Heaven cemetery, almost two months after his gas balloon crashed into the Adriatic Sea on September 29, 2010. He and his ballooning partner Carol Rymer-Davis disappeared in a thunderstorm as they participated in the Gordon Bennett gas balloon race. Their bodies were recovered off the coast of Italy by fishermen a few weeks ago. The 30...
News About A Good Goodbye
Just released this news today and wanted to share it with you: Those Who Don’t Plan to Die Are Killing Their Families Americans plan their finances, their families, their retirement, just about everything – except their funerals. That omission can mess up all their other life plans. A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die (Light Tree Press) will help families avoid emotional and financial disaster. A Good Goodbye, a new...
The Elizabeth Edwards Funeral
At Elizabeth Edwards’ funeral, Glenn Bergenfield, a close family friend who presented a eulogy, said that in her final days, as he looked around the Edwards household for any guidance she had regarding funeral arrangements, he found none. As she was such a detailed planner, he thought surely she would have left detailed notes. Bergenfield said, “As the week has worn on I have begun to think she saw the sad and beautiful metaphor: We must go on...
Tony Pakinkis and Congregation Albert
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdhzRPn6fVw Anthony "Tony" Pakinkis, 67, was the custodian at Congregation Albert, a Reform Jewish temple, for 27 years. While he was raised a Roman Catholic, the temple held a Jewish memorial service for Tony, to let his grieving family know that they are not alone in their grief, to recall details and share stories of the man, and to remember what was good and noble in his life, that we might take some of that...
New Funeralwise.com Survey Shows Shift in Funeral Preferences
There's a new survey just out from Funeralwise.com that shows people prefer either a “celebration of life” or no funeral at all. The new survey revealed an important funeral planning finding for the industry – almost half of those surveyed would like a “celebration of life” ceremony versus only 11% who prefer a traditional funeral. Also, a startling fact came to light – over 30% do not want a funeral. The survey was conducted with 1,643...
Remembering the Day of Infamy
Today, December 7, is the 69th anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Let us take a moment to remember the many deaths and sense of security lost when Imperial Japanese warplanes launched a Sunday morning attack on the U.S. Navy base in Hawaii. Other American and British bases in the Pacific were also attacked that day. The Japanese raids prompted the United States to enter World War II. President Franklin D. Roosevelt said it best:...
Abruzzo Memorial Service Follow-Up
A month after the memorial service for missing balloonist Richard Abruzzo was held at the balloon museum that bears the family's name, the family planted a special pine tree. A bedtime story inspired his children to suggest the tree planting in his memory. From the local NBC affiliate, KOB-TV: Richard Abruzzo of Albuquerque and Carol Rymer Davis of Denver were participating in the 54th Gordon Bennett Gas Balloon race, a race they had won...
Dear Abby on Exes in Obits
A recent Dear Abby column was all about whether former spouses should or should not be included in an obituary. Some tips: Whether an ex is named in a paid death notice placed by the family (the classified ad obituary) is a matter of personal preference. A news obituary article written by a reporter will include the names of former spouses, whether separated by death or divorce. As a matter of historical research, including biological parents...
Reflections on the 30 Funerals Challenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP34a65sj4k My 30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge has come to a close. As the Grateful Dead song goes, what a long strange trip it's been. Here are a few statistics about the 30 events: The funeral for the oldest person was a 98-year-old woman; the youngest was a 24-year-old man. I attended events for 16 males and 14 females. Twelve of the events were funerals with the body present, 18 were memorial services with...
Jacquie Walter Presbyterian Musical Service
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajBNWG_y4H4 Ah, to be present at your own memorial service! The beautiful soprano voice of Jacquie Walter, MD, 58, was part of a creative memorial service within the outline of the Presbyterian Service of Worship at St. Andrew Church. Jacquie had already been celebrated by her family back in Minnesota, where she grew up. This was a second memorial service put together by friends in Albuquerque to remember a...
A Creative Memorial for Artist Peggy Jackson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJY6NjuDVe4 Peggy Jackson's lengthy obituary, written by her husband Dave, painted a detailed portrait of a fascinating artist, and it really made me want to attend her memorial service. Unfortunately, no event had been scheduled when this obit ran. A few weeks later, a short notice appeared saying a memorial for Peggy Jackson, 76, would be held at the Manzano Mesa Multigenerational Center the Wednesday before...
Louise Ganie Lambert Bundy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncgpczjR27g Two things jumped out of the extensive obituary for Louise Ganie Lambert Bundy, 91, in addition to her impressive array of accomplishments: She was born in Salt Lake City into a pioneer family of Mormons, and was an avid Nelson Eddy enthusiast. From the obituary: Louise spent years inside the Republican political world, including being a Barry Goldwater Delegate at the1964 Republican Convention; she...
Funeral for Kevin Hayes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ldqebQlp7g The funeral for Kevin Hayes, whose death at the age of 24 is under investigation, brought home the important role a funeral plays in comforting those who mourn. Rev. John Thurman, who is a professional Christian counselor, gently guided the service, starting by thanking those in attendance for supporting the family on a difficult day in a difficult time. The funeral home chapel was filled with the...
Five Life and Death Questions Every Family Should Discuss this Thanksgiving (But Probably Won’t)
When the family gathers this Thanksgiving, besides giving thanks for the bounty in your life, take advantage of this face time to talk turkey about end-of-life issues. Sure, it’s easy to keep it superficial and focus on the football game. But with close relatives you don’t often see, grab the opportunity to have a meaningful discussion. Just as talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, talking about funerals and end-of-life treatment won’t...
A Presbyterian Worship Service for Betty Gephart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmUq7ByhrN4 The service at the Immanuel Presbyterian Church for Betty Gephart, 96, was first and foremost a worship service. The program called it "A Service of Witness to the Resurrection: Celebrating the Life and New Life of Elizabeth S. Gephart." She passed away quietly at home on the eve of the 71st wedding anniversary of her marriage to husband Ken, a retired U.S. Air Force colonel. Betty was an active member...