The Doyenne of Death loves movies! I love how they can be used to get people to discuss death and hopefully take action to plan ahead for our 100% mortality rate. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing my lists of films, starting with those involving funerals, funeral directors, and the mortuary business in general. Got any additions to add to the list? Post in the comments!
Also included are selected film clips that can give you some insights to these films. And, if you might want to get a DVD of the movie, or view them on the Prime Video streaming service, click on the links in the titles. The links are Amazon affiliate links, so you can help support my work with a tiny referral fee.
Bernie (2011 – PG-13, 1 hr. 44 min.) In this comedy based on a true crime story, affable mortician Bernie Tiede strikes up a friendship with a wealthy widow that goes tragically wrong. Provides insights into elements of the funeral business, the many roles funeral directors play and a great conversation starter. Stars Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine and Matthew McConaughey.
Death at a Funeral (2007 – R, 1 hr. 30 min.) In this comedy, chaos ensues when a man tries to expose a dark secret regarding a recently deceased patriarch of a dysfunctional British family. Shows a funeral at home, the challenge of paying for a funeral and preparing a eulogy, and the general stress a death in the family can cause. There is also an American version of this film, made in 2010 featuring an African American family, starring Chris Rock and Martin Lawrence. Peter Dinklage is in both versions of the film. Rough language warning.
Departures (2008 – PG-13, 2 hr. 10 min.) This charming Oscar-winning Japanese film follows the journey of an unemployed cellist who takes a job preparing the dead for funerals. Shows the importance of encountering the dead, Japanese traditions for funerals and cremation, and how grief can be repressed and expressed.
Elizabethtown (2005 – PG-13, 2 hr. 3 min.) This romantic comedy with a wonderful soundtrack incorporates the similarities of weddings and funerals, the clash of cultures between people in the South and the West regarding burial and cremation, illustrates different kinds of grief, and shows an ash-scattering road trip. Stars include Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst and Susan Sarandon.
Eulogy (2004 – R, 1 hr. 31 min.) This black comedy follows three generations of a family who come together for the funeral of the patriarch. Not only does the story uncover a litany of family secrets and covert relationships, it features scenes that can prompt discussions of estate planning, funeral planning, the challenge of writing a eulogy, and how to do your own Viking funeral.
Get Low (2009 – PG-13, 1hr. 43 min.) This film is based on a true story of a man who threw his own funeral party while he was still alive. Set in the 1930s, it provides a glimpse into the evolution of the funeral business and shows the elements of planning and implementing an unorthodox funeral. Stars Robert Duvall, Bill Murray and Sissy Spacek.
Getting Grace (2017 – PG-13, 1 hr. 52 min.) Funeral directors loved this film when it debuted. Getting Grace follows a spirited and terminally ill teenage girl named Grace who, instead of sulking about her prognosis, bursts into a funeral home to ask about what happens after death. Her curiosity and irreverent charm shake up the life of a reserved funeral director, Bill Jankowski, and everyone else she encounters.
The Farewell (2019 – PG, 1 hr. 40 min.) A Chinese family discovers their grandmother has only a short while to live and decide to keep her in the dark. They schedule a wedding so everyone can gather and celebrate her before she dies. It illustrates cross-cultural divides between East and West about death, anticipatory grief, and living while dying, embracing joy, connection and ritual.
Grand Theft Parsons (2003 – PG-13, 1hr. 28 min.) This is based on the true story of the hijacking of musician Gram Parson’s body after his untimely death in 1973 from an overdose at the age of 26. His road manager Phil Kaufman steals the body to fulfill a pledge to set his spirit free in Joshua Tree National Park. Includes insights on body shipment, wills, hearses, and setting a body on fire in the desert. Stars Johnny Knoxville, Robert Forster, and Christina Applegate.
Happy Funeral (2008 – Unrated, 1 hr. 40 min.) This Chinese film explores how a younger generation seeks to update traditional Chinese funeral rites with personalized, meaningful and even joyful ceremony. They approach a traditional funeral director with their ideas, and wind up putting together a most creative Happy Funeral for their beloved landlady. Dialogue is in Chinese with English subtitles.
Harold and Maude (1971 – PG-13, 1 hr. 31 min.) This cult classic features Harold, a rich young man who’s obsessed with death, who meets lively septuagenarian Maude at a funeral. Shows several funerals, provides food for thought on living life to the fullest and exiting on one’s own terms. Stars Ruth Gordon and Bud Cort and features a great soundtrack by Cat Stevens.
Just Buried (2007 – PG-13, 1 hr. 34 min.) A young man inherits a nearly bankrupt funeral home from his estranged father and falls in love with the female mortician on staff. It’s a quirky comedy that explains embalming in detail, shows how pacemakers can make a crematorium explode, and looks at the details of running a funeral home. Favorite quote: “I got a funeral home in a town where no one is dying.”
Last Flag Flying (2017 – R, 2 hr. 5 min.) Thirty years after they served together in Vietnam, a former Navy Corpsman reunites with two old buddies to bury his son, a young Marine killed in the Iraq War. Looks at themes of fatherhood and loss, the long shadow of war for veterans, and military honors for the dead. Stars Steve Carell, Bryan Cranston and Laurence Fishburne in this comedy/drama.
The Loved One (1965 – unrated, 2 hr. 2 min.) This satire of the funeral business skewers casket sales, funeral services, pet deaths and cemeteries, embalming and more. Stars Robert Morse as a young British poet who plans a funeral for his uncle and goes to work at a Hollywood cemetery/funeral home. Liberace appears as an outrageous casket salesman.
My Girl (1991 – PG, 1 hr. 42 min.) A sweet story about a young girl growing up in a family-owned funeral home. Her mother died giving birth to her, and her father works to balance work and life. Shows funeral home operations in the 1970s, that funeral directors have lives beyond their work, and different aspects of grief. Stars Anna Chlumsky, Macaulay Culkin, Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis.
My Mexican Shivah (2007 – not rated, 1 hr. 38 min.) This comedy from Mexico focuses on Jewish funeral traditions, including the rituals leading up to the funeral through the seven-day mourning period after the burial. Dialogue is in Spanish and Yiddish with English subtitles.
Nora’s Will (2008 – not rated, 1 hr. 32 min.) This award-winning comedy/drama from Mexico focuses on Jewish funeral traditions related to suicide, keeping the deceased company prior to burial, scheduling around holidays, and more. Spanish with English subtitles.
The Six Wives of Henry Lefay (2009 – PG-13, 1hr. 35 min.) A comedic cautionary tale for those who don’t make funeral plans or make those plans but get married multiple times and change their plans. Henry Lefay’s daughter tries to arrange her father’s funeral while contending with all his ex-wives. Stars include Tim Allen, Elisha Cuthbert and Andie MacDowell.
Taking Chance (2009 – TV-PG, 1 hr. 17 min.) Based on real-life events, Kevin Bacon stars as a voluntary military escort officer who accompanies the body of 19-year-old Marine Chance Phelps back to his hometown of Dubois, Wyoming. A moving account of the steps taken to honor those who die in military service. “Without a witness… it just disappears.”
This is Where I Leave You (2014 – R, 1 hr. 43 min.) In this comedy/drama, four grown siblings are forced to return to their childhood home to sit shivah for a week after their father dies. Along with their over-sharing mother, there’s an assortment of spouses, exes and others who come to the house where grief, dysfunction and the ties that bind collide. Stars include Jason Bateman, Tina Fey and Jane Fonda. “For the next seven days, you are all my children again… and you are all grounded.”
Undertaking Betty (2002 – PG-13, 1 hr. 34 min.) Originally titled Plots with a View, this comedy focuses on a woman whose husband is cheating on her and a traditional undertaker who has been in love with her since childhood. A progressive funeral director, new to this small town in Wales, shakes things up with personalized celebrations of life, including a Star Trek funeral. Stars Brenda Blethyn, Alfred Molina and Christopher Walken. “Keep in mind, the root word of funeral is fun.”
Waking Ned Devine (1998, PG – 1 hr. 31 min.) When Ned Devine wins the lottery, he dies from the shock. Two longtime friends in this small remote town in Ireland discover his death and determine that bachelor Ned would have wanted his neighbors to benefit from his good fortune. The trick is to convince the lottery official that Ned is still alive. This comedy includes a moving eulogy about the idea of being present at your own funeral. “The words spoken at a funeral are too late for the man who has died.”
Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist and The Doyenne of Death
Mortality Movies with The Doyenne of Death
Love movies? Death curious? Looking for a way to start conversations with loved ones about end-of-life issues? Subscribe to Mortality Movies with the Doyenne of Death® to get full access to Gail Rubin’s newsletter on Substack. She’s been helping people laugh about our 100% mortality rate and plan for the inevitable since 2010. She’s a pioneering death educator, author, speaker, Death Cafe host, Mortality Movies maven and coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival. Learn more here.